Introducing Rambunctious Resident Cat to a New, Very Shy Cat

[lillykitty]

Hi everyone,

About 3 weeks ago we adopted a new, very under socialized 7 month old kitten. Since adopting her, she has really come out of her shell. Now our next challenge is introducing her to our 11 month old resident cat. We have the new girl in the bedroom and we have read the articles, done scent swapping, feeding on the other side of the door, meetings through the baby gate, and just started feeding them in the same room together. After a while, we decided to start face to face introductions, which has been somewhat of a challenge.

When the two are on each side of the gate, there is no issue at all. When they are face to face, our resident cat is kind of rambunctious. She likes to paw at the new cat, is this aggression? When she does it, she doesn't look like she's swiping and she doesn't have her tail puffed or ears back and she isn't hissing. The new one used to back off, but now she will give it back from time to time. When she gives it back, this gets our resident cat all worked up and even more rambunctious. Another issue is that because the new one is so shy, she is easily startled by our resident cat, who will end up chasing her until we pick up our resident cat and remove her. 

We're worried about our resident cat making the new one terrified of her, but we also realize that they need to learn each other and work things out if anything is going to change. 

Other than the chasing, there isn't really any sign of aggression, other than the VERY occasional quick hiss. They'll even ignore each other from time to time to sniff around or get a treat. What would you recommend? Should we remove her from the room whenever she chases her? And if we do, will this just keep happening since nothing is ever worked out?

Just a side note, we also live in a one bedroom apartment, which isn't very big, would it be better to do introductions outside of the room to give the cats more area? Or would this just be too much for the new one who has only been outside our bedroom once?

Sorry for having a million questions, your help is MUCH appreciated!

Thank you!

 

[Columbine]

Basically, you're just trying to move a little too fast. Three weeks is no time at all in introduction terms - cat to cat introductions typically take months, not weeks, and have even been known to take a year or more in particularly difficult cases. Slow down, and stay patient It sounds as though you're making amazing progress already

As they're fine when separated by the gate, the best thing might be to double stack baby gates in the door to the new girl's safe room. That way, the two of them can get used to each other, and she can build up her confidence gradually. Continuing feedings on either side of the gates is a good idea too, as this will help build and reinforce positive associations.

Interactive playtime is really important too. For your resident cat, its a great way to burn off and redirect any excess energy, hopefully making her less inclined to go after the new girl. For the newbie, play is a fantastic confidence builder, and the more confident she becomes, the less likely she'll be to behave like prey. One of the universal laws of the cat world is that if you behave like prey, you can expect to be treated like prey. That's why the newbie, in her fear, is such a tempting target. Once she's projecting more confidence, the chasing should naturally cease. [article="32680"][/article][article="29726"][/article][article="32735"][/article][article="32804"][/article][article="0"][/article][article="0"][/article]

 

[lillykitty]

Thanks for your reply! When we do the baby gates though, it goes really well. The new cat sits next to the gate and our resident cat just keeps trying to reach her paw out to her while the new one just lets her. How do we know when to proceed from that step? Everything seems to go well right now.

 

[Columbine]

Honestly, I'd just give them some more time. I think I'd probably do some careful site swapping (being sure they don't run into each other during the changeover), and let the new girl get really comfortable in the rest of the flat too. Just keep switching them around. As the new girl gains confidence in her new territory she should gradually become less anxious about interacting with your resident girl too.

losna This reminds me a little of your situation. Maybe you can help here.

 

[losna]

It does sound like our situation! unfortunately we've been stymied at this point for what, 2 years now? So I'm not sure what I might have to add. :/

@LillyKitty   I do have a monster thread that you can read if you feel like it though! I keep it more or less updated as any progress happens. There is a lot of good advice in there, it's basically two years of everything anyone can think of to help two cats who aren't hostile, but one is overly interested in chasing and cuddling the other. Hopefully there's something in there that can help you!

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/283930/cat-introduction-woes

 

[lillykitty]

I'm glad someone is feeling my pain, but the fact that it has gone on so long is making me nervous!

We put the baby gate up when we got home from work and have had it up all night. My resident cat still pokes at her from time to time, but is mostly just uninterested in her. I'd say this is great, but when the gate is gone, it's a whole different story.

I noticed that yours don't get along, but you just have them out and about to let them work it out. Is this something I should just be trying instead?

 

[losna]

No, there is no hostility between them. We have them separated by two stacked baby gates, with a shelf on top to keep him from climbing in. Tempest is a little acrobat so she can come and go freely, Sinbad is a clutz and can't get into her room. 

So long as the gate is there, they get along just fine. They will play through the gate, sometimes bump noses. When she is sick, he makes sure we know about it, and he keeps guard. When he is sick, she clearly worries. When he's at the vet, for example, she will sit by the gate clearly waiting for him to return. The problem is that Sinbad was isolated as a kitten due to health concerns, so he never learned cat etiquette. He doesn't recognize hisses as back off signs, he loves to play chase so thinks she's playing with him when she runs away, he thinks direct staring is a sign of affection, and he desperately wants to cuddle her.

It's obvious that if he would just stop charging at her, they would be friends. But he's nearly twice her size now, so when he charges for cuddles he scares her to death. 

I am with @Columbine  I think that you are rushing things a bit. It doesn't sound like things are going badly at all, and three weeks is a short amount of time. My situation is very unusual, I would be surprised if it takes you as long. Sinbad was sick and isolated as a kitten so has never interacted with another cat, and Tempest was a street cat who has been abandoned several times. She was such a special case that the shelter made several exceptions to their usual adoption rules when we adopted her, they really went out of their way to let us know she was going to have need of more care than usual to get her comfortable and help us with that. My observation from the shelter volunteering that we do is there is also always an extra bit of friction between cats that have been on the streets and cats that haven't, because cats that have never been on the streets have never really had to see other cats as potential threats, and have never had to risk going without shelter and food. It sounds like both of yours fall into the second category.

I don't think introductions should be outside of your bedroom, you are quite right in thinking that it would be too much for your new cat. You want introductions to be as comfortable and as least stressful as possible, which means in an area both cats are familiar. I think if you just slow down a bit, play with both of them before introduction attempt, make sure you have given your new cat enough time to freely explore the bedroom without your resident cat around so she's comfortable in it when you're introducing them directly, and bribe them with treats it will work out. Treats are always good. 

 

But even my case shows that it's never hopeless so long as you love them and are patient. While she is still scared of him, she doesn't hiss at him anymore, and when he manages to get his paws on her she doesn't do that cat fight scream thing anymore either. She just squirms and flees back into her room. And then as soon as he leaves she's right back out wandering the landing and stairs. Six months ago his getting his paws on her would have had her hiding in her room for hours, and a year ago she'd have been hiding for days.

 

[lillykitty]

I really appreciate this post. It has been a very long week at work and my exhaustion, combined with my stress about whether or not this is ever going to work has gotten me quite emotional!

What I am noticing though is that both of them seem to have diarrhea right now. Could this be from the stress of a new situation or do you think it's something else, like their food? I feed both of them Weruva and their treats are the purebites (since they've been getting a lot of those).

Oh! And it's interesting that Sinbad was isolated and charges her because ours is the opposite. Our new girl is so shy because she was isolated as well and thats where our challenge is, because she just runs from our resident cat.

 

[losna]

Cats are like people in that they are individuals who respond to different things in different ways.  Sinbad desperately wants a furry cuddle buddy. I joke that he is hug powered. He uses my stuffed animals in place of Tempest when she rejects him.

10516642_621043048000549_6959945894716169296_n.jpg

• losna
• Feb 23, 2015

1557239_556966057741582_5544196437115833391_o.jpg

• losna
• Sep 19, 2014

What works for one cat to help introductions may not work for another. One thing I think that might be good to say is you should figure out what motivates your cats. Food? Affection? Play time? Jazz music? What you really want to do is make sure that they have positive associations with spending time with each other, and do the things they like when they are meeting each other.  It can really be anything. Tempest can be bribed by my husband taking a nap in her room, and Sinbad can be bribed with a dirty sock or George Reeves. He really loves George Reeves, all we have to do is pop in The Adventures of Superman and he comes running. 

Hmm.. now I wonder what would happen if my husband fell asleep in Tempest's room, and I put some George Reeves on the laptop and brought it up to play while giving a face to face meeting a try. Probably nothing, Tempest would stay on hubby's back snuggling and Sinbad would just watch tv. 

 

 

[lillykitty]

Those pictures are just too much. What a sweet boy!!! I really hope this works out for him!

Any idea about the diarrhea for both cats? I really think I need to just relax and let things take its course. I'm such a worrier!

 

[losna]

I think with diarrhea you should call your vet and ask. It could be stress, it could be something else. I am assuming there is no blood in it - if there is, definitely call your vet ASAP. I know my vet is very good with telling me if something is serious or not and whether I should schedule a visit if I call in with questions. I assume most, if not all, vets will be happy to answer your questions about whether something is serious and you need to go in or not.

I hear you on the worrying though. Sinbad and Tempest were my first cats. I spent the first few months fretting and fussing. Now I know what kind of vomit is normal and what is worrying, what various ailments display in their stool, etc, and I have a special case of differently colored sponges that only get used to clean up cat messes so I know that I'm never washing dishes or the counter with a sponge that was used to wipe up vomit or poop. 

 

 

[lillykitty]

So I took your advice and the last few days I've left the door open while I'm home and avoided anything more.

This morning they're doing something new. My resident cat dashes up to the gate and the new one runs. But then the new one is running up to the gate and my resident cat runs. They've been doing this back and forth for a while.

Is this play or aggression? There's no hissing, puffed tails or anything like that. Just dashing and wiggly butts. My resident cat keeps chirping at the new kitten when she doesn't come back soon enough. It seems cute, but maybe it isn't haha. The good news is that my new girl seems to be gaining confidence. Hopefully not in a bad way though.

 

[Columbine]

That sounds very playful to me My two play chase and call for each other like that. Definitely a sign of progress :nod:

Don't rush things - you need to be sure your new girl is truly confident in herself and her surroundings before another face to face meeting, but things are definitely on the right track

 

[lillykitty]

Yay! That makes me happy. We will definitely be sticking with gate interactions for a while. Once she is more. It's nice to see some progress, I don't want to mess it up!

 

[losna]

I have never heard a chirp that wasn't a happy playful thing. So it sounds like patience is paying off.

 

[lillykitty]

I think we took some steps forward tonight! My husband and I were watching TV and we eventually realized that there's some racing around in the bedroom. We rush over to see, and our resident cat had managed to get in the room. There they are, chasing each other, except this time they were taking turns. Clearly they are still working things out, but this time, our new one would chase back. They even had a game going where my resident cat would go to the spot by the hamper and the new one would pounce after her, then they would switch.

They were together for about a half hour and we wanted to end it on a good note, so we fed them side by side and separated them for the night.

What also surprised me is that our new cat finished her food first and went over to our resident cat's bowl. Our resident cat didn't like this and hissed, but after hissing a few times, she backed off and let the new girl eat her food. I never would've seen that coming!

 

[lillykitty]

Oh! And during this period of play, both cats laid down for a little (at different times). My resident cat even laid on her side a few times when they were playing.