Introducing a new cat--how can I tell if it's going well?

[roseleaf]

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Hello! I could use some advice on whether or not introducing a new cat to my older one is going well or not, and where I should go from here. The old cat is female, about 10 and very tiny. She’s lived with other cats before and gotten along great with some/not great at all with others. She’s been by herself for about 2 years now. The new cat is 4, male, and enormous. He is incredibly friendly and were told that he loves other cats.

So, for the first week after we brought him home we kept him totally separate in another room with his own litter, food, etc. We fed the two cats on either side of the door. Eventually we moved to putting a baby gate in the door and feeding them that way, so they could see one another but were still separate. There was some hissing at this point from the older cat, but as the days went on she calmed down and didn’t mind him. We also started switching the rooms they were in at this point (new cat gets to roam the house while old cat spends some time in new cat’s room, etc).

Now we’ve been letting them meet each other face to face with supervision a couple times a day. Old cat tolerates new cat so long as he stays at a distance. For example, they both happily nap on opposite side of a bed, large couch, etc. But as soon as the new cat gets too close, old cat begins hissing and tries to swat at him. They’ve never actually fought because we separate them when things get tense. Old cat seems super tolerant so long as there’s some space, but new cat is really excited to be friends with her and always approaches eventually. He doesn’t seem at all bothered by all the hissing and always tries again the next time they get to interact. Basically it seems like he wants to play and hang out and the older cat is having none of that!

So I guess I’m wondering... so far so good?? Or no? I can’t tell if the old cat is becoming used to the new cat because she’ll be calm and even nap with him sitting nearby. That looks like a good sign to me, but hissing/swatting also looks pretty bad. When she does that during these meetings, should we continue separating them? Should we stop having them meet every day and give old cat time to cool off between each one? Is she just being a little sassy and she’ll get over it with time? Some advice would be great on where to go from here! Thanks

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[roseleaf]

Oops sorry for the double post but I forgot to mention, even when the older cat does hiss, her fur/tail never puffs up. Not sure if that makes a difference?? Whenever she sees strays outside when she's at the window she poofs up to twice her size, so it might be good at she doesn't feel she needs to with the new cat.

 

[molly92]

I think things are going pretty well! The hissing you describe isn't really aggression, just a precaution on the older cat's part so the other one doesn't try anything. She's used to being an only cat now and she likes her life and wants to make sure this new cat doesn't mess any of that up! It sounds like she'll learn that this cat just wants to be a friend and her people, food, litter, and favorite napping places aren't going to be taken away from her with time.

If it seems like she's getting more uncomfortable with each meeting, then you might want to scale back and keep sessions shorter, so they are separated before anyone gets anxious and they end on a good note. But, if she's tolerating him better each time, then the rate you're going is perfect. If that's the case, you might want to let the next hissing incident play out without interruption. If she learns that he will respect her warnings and back off on his own, she'll trust him more. If things get too intense you do want to jump in, but it doesn't sound like they are anywhere close to being a danger to each other right now and it'd be very good for their relationship if they can learn to settle things themselves.

Another thing to do if they're food motivated is to treat often whenever they're hanging out together in peace! Save an extra special treat just for this so your girl learns that she gets her favorite thing whenever the other cat is around. Just make sure to keep things equal so neither cat feels jealous. Playtime is another way to help them bond if they both enjoy it.

 

[roseleaf]

Thanks for the comment!! I showed my boyfriend and we both feel so much better/more optimistic about the whole thing! The two of them did great yesterday, still some hissing but the older cat let the new one come close & check her out a little several times without any growling or hissing at all. Right now when someone's home we let both of them roam around freely. For the most part they give each other space, with the new cat coming closer to see if old cat wants to be friends yet every once in a while, and old cat spying on the new cat from around corners when she thinks he isn't paying attention. If there's any hissing we separate them for a little while but for the most part they can coexist kind of peacefully. She seems curious about him which I think is a good sign? But she might just want to keep an eye on him because he's an intruder and she doesn't trust him. No idea.

We were having a problem before with the older cat thinking the bedroom was "her's" and getting very growly/hissing whenever the new cat went inside. So we've moved him from the office where he was staying to the bedroom while we're at work and that seems to have helped. She still stalks outside the door, like, "who is this punk in my room??" but no longer hisses just because he's in there. I think it will still take some time before I'm comfortable leaving them alone all day together but it seems like progress!! Any more advice for where to go from this point would be great It feels like we're so close to them getting along 100% and we don't want to mess it up haha.

 

[molly92]

 
Thanks for the comment!! I showed my boyfriend and we both feel so much better/more optimistic about the whole thing! The two of them did great yesterday, still some hissing but the older cat let the new one come close & check her out a little several times without any growling or hissing at all. Right now when someone's home we let both of them roam around freely. For the most part they give each other space, with the new cat coming closer to see if old cat wants to be friends yet every once in a while, and old cat spying on the new cat from around corners when she thinks he isn't paying attention. If there's any hissing we separate them for a little while but for the most part they can coexist kind of peacefully. She seems curious about him which I think is a good sign? But she might just want to keep an eye on him because he's an intruder and she doesn't trust him. No idea.

Wonderful! If she actually thought he was an intruder, she would be creating a huge ruckus, I assure you! No, sounds like she's accepting him as part of the family now. She's just being cautious while she tries to learn as much about the new guy as possible. It's a very typical cat precaution.

We were having a problem before with the older cat thinking the bedroom was "her's" and getting very growly/hissing whenever the new cat went inside. So we've moved him from the office where he was staying to the bedroom while we're at work and that seems to have helped. She still stalks outside the door, like, "who is this punk in my room??" but no longer hisses just because he's in there. I think it will still take some time before I'm comfortable leaving them alone all day together but it seems like progress!! Any more advice for where to go from this point would be great It feels like we're so close to them getting along 100% and we don't want to mess it up haha.

It sounds like you're doing everything right! You can rub a towel all over the new cat and place it next to her favorite napping spots for when she's in that room to help her adjust even further, but it sounds like she's already feeling much better. I think time is going to take care of the rest for you. They should be okay to be left alone together soon. Often when introducing two animals, there's the initial period where they learn to accept each other, which you're in right now, and then for many months after that they learn to love each other and become really good friends, so hopefully you have that to look forward to!