I’m Terrified To Leave My Cat

[bethanywright]

So I first got my best friend in 2010, so 8 years ago now and we have been inseperable ever since. We are best friends and we love snuggling. She is the funniest, prettiest and cutest cat I have ever came across and it’s hard for me to do this. I’m moving out of my childhood home. I’m moving out in exactly a week and I can’t stop crying because I’m leaving my best friend behind! I can’t take her with me because I would feel too guilty to take her away from her home ever since she was a kitten but I don’t want to think of a life without her irreplacable meows and morning snuggles. I’m moving 50 miles away, which might not seem a lot to people but it’s a lot for me, I can barely come down to see her and my mother as I’m going to be working all the time. I know she’s going to be best living out her life here but I’m just heartbroken I’m leaving my beautiful baby behind! Can anyone suggest on how to do with this? I feel like I’m losing a family member!

 

[Margret]

I don't understand why you're planning to leave her behind. You are what makes the house where you now live home to her. Unless there's some problem you haven't mentioned I think you should take her with you.

Margret

 

[bethanywright]

I don't understand why you're planning to leave her behind. You are what makes the house where you now live home to her. Unless there's some problem you haven't mentioned I think you should take her with you.

Margret

I did state a little bit, its because of a job I’m getting and I can’t get the best of jobs in my small town so I have to move away for the best life I can get and I can’t take her because I’ll be living in a small apartment and she’s used a large open space.

 

[Margret]

Cats are remarkably adaptable. I've adopted a young adult cat who was accustomed to having the run of the house, and lived with her for months as a bedroom-only kitty; she had no trouble with that, and we're talking a small bedroom. She only got access to the rest of the house after the house guests who had gotten my previous cat killed (long story) were evicted (yes, it did actually require an eviction notice - part of the long story). And when she finally got the run of the house it took her a few days to convince herself that it was actually safe to come out (because she's an intelligent cat), but she still adapted quickly and thoroughly. Now she's complaining because I won't let her back in the small bedroom, which has been converted to a sewing room and has things in it that are unsafe for her.

But she's not an unhappy cat just because she can't get back in that bedroom; she knows that she can't always have everything she wants. I believe she considers it a challenge, kind of the way I think of Sudoko.

Yes, many cats like routine, and dislike having their routine disrupted. Cats may be uncomfortable with moving; who can blame them? Personally, I hate moving. But not as much as I hate losing someone I love, and cats are the same way. They especially dislike losing the people they love.

Margret

 

[kate187]

Is it a case of having to move somewhere that won't allow cats, and/or not having the money?

 

[Furballsmom]

Yes, many cats like routine, and dislike having their routine disrupted. Cats may be uncomfortable with moving; who can blame them? Personally, I hate moving. But not as much as I hate losing someone I love, and cats are the same way. They especially dislike losing the people they love.

This is exactly correct. You, I think, are focusing on parts of this regarding your cat that are a lesser priority, because your cat needs YOU much more than staying somewhere without you. Hang in there! Good luck with the move and the new job.

 

[Willowy]

I do think that sometimes an indoor-outdoor cat is more attached to their territory than to an individual human, and should be able to stay where they are as long as someone will care for them. She'd be well-cared-for living with your mom, right?

But if she's very attached to you, she may prefer to go with you. At her age she may be willing to retire to an indoor life. If your apartment allows cats, give it a try; have her stay with you for a month, and if it really doesn't work out you can take her home again. She won't mind if you're busy; she's not a kitten who need constant attention.

But if you decide she's better off staying with your mom, that's a sacrifice you made for her, so don't feel bad about it. Of course you'll miss her, a lot. Maybe she and your mom can Skype with you now and then.

 

[kate187]

I do think that sometimes an indoor-outdoor cat is more attached to their territory than to an individual human, and should be able to stay where they are as long as someone will care for them. She'd be well-cared-for living with your mom, right?

But if she's very attached to you, she may prefer to go with you. At her age she may be willing to retire to an indoor life. If your apartment allows cats, give it a try; have her stay with you for a month, and if it really doesn't work out you can take her home again. She won't mind if you're busy; she's not a kitten who need constant attention.

But if you decide she's better off staying with your mom, that's a sacrifice you made for her, so don't feel bad about it. Of course you'll miss her, a lot. Maybe she and your mom can Skype with you now and then.

I wanted to say something like this too. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions and you are not being a bad person or letting your cat down if she has to stay there- it's the home she's always known and she'll be well looked after by familiar people.

 

[Brian007]

So, if you are allowed to have a cat in your new place and your cat is particularly attached to you rather than your mum, why not take her for a trial period as suggested.

If you are allowed to have a cat in your new place and your cat is just as attached to your mum as you, then maybe leave her be and get a new cat of your own.

If you are not allowed to have a cat in your new place and your cat is particularly attached to you rather than your mum, and your mum doesn't like your cat, then either look for a new place, or Skype as suggested, and return to visit whenever you can.

You don't say how your mum feels in all this?

A cat will pine for a particularly loved human but if it's happy in its home and has another human who cares for it, then it will gradually get used to the change. As, in time, will all the humans.

I strongly recommend your spending as much time as possible with your mum as well as your cat until you leave next week. You can take the memories with you to treasure. And you will know that your mum and your cat are there for each other when you're gone. Your mum will be feeling very upset at the thought of her baby flying the nest and could probably do with a hug herself.

And, all the new memories you're going to make in your new life are ahead of you, it's ever so exciting!

 

[Furballsmom]

Brian007 you said everything I would have if I'd thought of it, and more! @bethanywright you'll figure it out, I know you will. You have a lot going right now, and yet working on those memories really does need to be right up there at the top of the list. Try not to be so stressed, your cat will be fine whichever way you choose to go, try instead for excited and happy

 

[ArchyCat]

If your new apartment permits pets, take your cat. You and she appear to have a strong bond. If, after three or four weeks after your move, and the cat seems unhappy, you can return her to live with your mother. But you would have tried and will not second guess later in life. Good luck!