I'm soo upset! I can't believe he said that!

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by Tari

I'm glad you clarified that...and glad you wouldn't put up with it! My DH knows that there's no way I'd put up with being talked to like that either.

I'm glad he came home and apologized to you and Kenzie. That's so sweet! I think he was just having a bad day and once he calmed down he was over it.

oh definitely! lol....I never tolerate that. I told him I never tolerate verbally/physically abusive things on the first date 2 yrs ago- I always let someone know up front that I am a woman, I am beautiful and I will not tolerate someone harming me eithor physically/mentally. I deserve more than that and I respect myself. (not in a cocky way..just in a self respecting way

). I'm glad your hubby doesn't do that eithor!

Colin definitely would have been missing some testicles if that was directed at me

...i'd pull a lorraine bobbit on him!

....but thankfully...we won't have to worry about that

He appologized and was sincere....I respect his appology and accept it.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Thats good that he apologized...everything is back to normal

yup! i'm ok with it now

I let him know that he will not talk to me or my animals like that...even when he's having a bad day..and that it's better to go into the other room and breath and calm down for a few minutes and then talk to me

. That's what we usually do- I think he was just stressed and let that one slip. thankfully he appologized though and I won't have to harm him lol.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

GURRRRRRRRR! Blast it all!!! I HATE Colin's chief's sometimes! HE is supposed to have tomorrow off as well as Sun and Mon. He works 6 days on 3 days off....well thanks to them screwing up his schedule...they're making him work tomorrow to...that's a week without a day off! We really need a day together...and he really needs some time off to destress! Uhhh Blast them all! Now i'm mad. Did I mention he's late again tonight (I don't blame him-it's not his fault. He was supposed to be off over an hour ago....they always work him late). I know it's just job and he loves it- I support him ...but he really needs a day or three off....and they keep messing around with him. They've also started to do this to his friend Aaron...which is not good because his wife is pregnant and stressed out beyond belief. They really need to take better care of the men and women who keep our city safe! -Uhh and there's no food in the house- we were supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow- we always go together. I would have gone already but I have no money and my name isn't on his credit card. we'll figure something out.

We're even out of milk, cheese, and pickles! we really gotta go! lol..Ahhh I need some vibes or a good drink tonight! It's been a long day! He is definitely getting a good back massage and some iced coffee when he get's home! Poor Colin!

 

[yosemite]

He sounds like a keeper! Guys just don't have those warm, fuzzy feelings for our fur babies sometimes and say stupid things. That's just the difference between men and women IMO. He apologized and realized he erred and he wasn't mean so I'd forgive him.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

He sounds like a keeper! Guys just don't have those warm, fuzzy feelings for our fur babies sometimes and say stupid things. That's just the difference between men and women IMO. He apologized and realized he erred and he wasn't mean so I'd forgive him.

I couldn't agree more with you

. He's had a horrible week too....one of his cop friends committed suicide the other week....so they've all had it rough.

. And now they're messing with Colin's days off...and everything...i'll forgive him this time

. I'm making him some Vietnamese Ice Coffee and I will give him a back massage when he gets home! He needs it

I feel soo bad for him tonight! I'm gonna put his fav cartoon "Beavis & Butthead"...he's a guy, go figure lol....in the dvd player and fix his fav coffee for him. Maybe that will cheer him up.

(I never stay mad long...especially not at him...so I forgave him a few hours ago when he stopped by on his shift just to appologize and kiss me and kenzie- it was sweet

)

 

[crittermom]

All men and women for that matter can and often say things out of anger that they don't really mean.I think he just had a rough day and needed to vent some of his anger.He IS a keeper for sure!!!

 

[arcadian girl]

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I am soo upset right now! I can't believe what Colin just said!

When I came home from my Psych II class earlier (about 2 1/2hrs ago)...he had Kenzie out of her cage and Kenzie,Fosters, and Colin were all three playing in the dining room. So of course- I thought that was sweet and maybe Colin was considering adopting Kenzie. Well...about 15 minutes ago, Kenzie....who mind you is still a very sick little kitten and is still growing into her bladder, had a small accident in the dining room (which is Colin's computer room)...on the carpet. She only went pee pee and it was a very small spot. Colin told me and so I immediately appologized to him and went in there and cleaned it up- you can't even tell she had an accident now. Well....while I was cleaning up her accident Colin said "Stupid B#t@h. I hate cats"....he didn't scream...he just said it calmly and annoyed. Well that really upset me!

First off, he NEVER uses the B word around me- I don't tolerate it and I find it degrading...so can you imagine how I felt when he called little Kenzie that! That really hurt my feelings! I put Kenzie in her carrier and then talked to Colin. I told him "I'm sorry she had an accident- she is still very small, and just like a small child has an accident sometimes....kittens are the same way, sometimes in a large room, they forget where their litter pan is or just can't make it in time- she's still growing into her bladder...and this is the first little accident she's had." I told him I was sorry about it and then I asked him I would be happy to go back to my house and take little Kenzie back with me if he hated cats soo much. - he quickly said..."no don't do that, Fosters really likes her" Then I calmly said- well I don't appreciate you cursing at a helpless little kitten who doesn't even weigh 2lbs yet. I let him know that I wouldn't tolerate that and that if it happened again, I would just pack up little Kenzie's things and mine and go back to my house" (I've been staying at Colin's because Kenzie, Colin, Fosters, and I have ringworm...and I don't want to give it to the rest of my animals...so my mom has been graciously watching my girls at home so that I will not expose them to ringworm, just until I heal up.) Well, Colin appologized and said he just thought cats were kind of stupid! - then I said "what kind of appology is that? Cat's are anything but stupid! They are very intelligent...as are many other types of animals. I do not appreciate you degrading one of my foster animals....or an entire species of animals for that matter." Then
I said- You know I like cat's right...I would think it's pretty obvious between my cats, my foster kittens, my obsession with TCS, and the amount of volunteer work I do.

Then he said "Yes, I know you love cats and I respect that. I'm sorry".....Well, I relunctantly forgave him...but i'm still quite upset over that. He has never said anything of that nature around me and especially not about cats- that's a big

....I let him know that I loved him and I appreciated him letting Kenzie and I stay with him through the whole ringworm thing....but if he said anything else negative about her or cats in general for that matter....that I would be more than happy to leave. I told him that I do a lot of volunteer work to help many different types of animals...I told him that my volunteer work and fostering is a special blessing in my life and something that I WILL NOT sacrafice. (he also knows that if we ever get married- the kitties go where I go

...and he's said before that he's fine with that) I also let him know that I didn't appreciate him demeaning my work or a part of God's creation simply because he was upset. I let him know that cats, just like other animals are very special to me and I set aside a special part of my life for them, so that when he demeans something I love soo much- that really hurts me as well as my feelings. He appologized and said that he was sorry for his comments...and that he liked having Kenzie around because Fosters is soo happy having a little friend....then he gave me a hug and a kiss before he left for work. I know he just said what he did earlier because he was upset that she had an accident....but I feel that it was totally uncalled for. I let him know that what he said ealier really hurt my feelings and that while I forgave him, I expected him not to repeat that...he was really sweet about it when he left for work a few minutes ago and insisted that Kenzie and I stay....but i'm still a bit upset.

It just really hurt my feelings that the man I love soo much- who knows how much I love and care about my cats and foster animals would say something so hurtfull without even thinking first.

I know there are several of you lovely folks on TCS who have delt with similar situations. I was wondering what ya'll thought. I am still a bit upset, but I also know that Colin is human too and makes mistakes. I don't wanna hold it against him- but I certainly will not accept comments like that. I let him know that and I think he understands now and sincerly means his apology.

(just a little side note- Dumping Colin is not an option....he knows that if he loves me, he has to accept and be kind to my cats also (which i think he has...he always lets me bring over foster kittens to his house and even helps feed and socialize them)...I think he was just maybe having a bad afternoon and said some words he should have without thinking.) -By the way, we never scream or anything when we fight- we just sit down and talk...which is what we did ealier..and we always resolve our arguments before one of us leaves the room.- I am not the type of woman to let a man walk all over me...so that's why I immediately addressed the issue and stood up for myself and my cat. I think Colin was sincerly sorry and had just spoken without thinking. What do you think??

first of all, you did the right thing by addressing it right away. kudos to you for standing up for yourself. women don't do that often enough. secondly-from what you've said, Colin sounds like a pretty good guy. i would forgive him for this and let it go. as you said, everyone makes mistakes...he's a guy, thats just how they are sometimes, they say crude things when theyre annoyed/upset. BUT, if it happens again, i think you should really be on your guard, and reconsider the relationship. Hopefully it was a one time thing. he had a right to be annoyed about a spot on his carpet-but just annoyed, not to th point where he's calling a two pound kitten a bitch :/ I hope it WAS just a one time thing, cos other than this, you sound pretty happy with him

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by arcadian girl

first of all, you did the right thing by addressing it right away. kudos to you for standing up for yourself. women don't do that often enough. secondly-from what you've said, Colin sounds like a pretty good guy. i would forgive him for this and let it go. as you said, everyone makes mistakes...he's a guy, thats just how they are sometimes, they say crude things when theyre annoyed/upset. BUT, if it happens again, i think you should really be on your guard, and reconsider the relationship. Hopefully it was a one time thing. he had a right to be annoyed about a spot on his carpet-but just annoyed, not to th point where he's calling a two pound kitten a bitch :/ I hope it WAS just a one time thing, cos other than this, you sound pretty happy with him

Thanks for responding!

I agree with you. It seems like he was just in a bad mood (which is no excuse....but we all make mistakes....so I forgave him that once). This morning he went to work out for a bit with his buddy Aaron (we both go work out when we're stressed)....then he came home and made me breakfast and put Kenzie's breakfast and water in her dish lol...It was sweet. I think he's having a better day today. We're gonna run to walmart and finally get some groceries!! Yea!!!

Then after that I'm gonna go pick up my little niece and spend some time with her. Colin told me I should go back to my house and get the bigger cage for Kenzie so that she has more room to play ....lol....I think he likes her alrigh...I think he was just being a bit immature yesterday. (He built her a mini scratching post to go in the larger cage too

...I think he feels bad from yesterday). I will try to remeber the digital camera when I go to my house later so I can snap some more cute pictures of Kenzie and her "puppy" Fosters lol.

. Maybe I'll snap one or two of Kenzie and Colin now that Colin is over his male pms today lol

I think it was just a one time thing (and it WILL stay that way- I won't tolerate that

)....I am very happy with Colin..and this is the first time he's done anything like that...so i'll forgive him. I let him know that I understood him being stressed, but that I do not tolerate words like that...reguardless of whom they're addressed at (and certainly not little Kenzie)...he appologized...and appologized to Kenzie, so I think he understands. Thanks for responding! Have a good one!

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by crittermom

All men and women for that matter can and often say things out of anger that they don't really mean.I think he just had a rough day and needed to vent some of his anger.He IS a keeper for sure!!!

I agree with you! He's more than made up for his little temper tantrum yesterday lol. This morning he went to the gym with his friend for a bit (working out is how Colin & I destress and vent -I went last night lol...I needed to

...So I know he's already feeling better after his workout.) This morning he came back from the station (they have a gym in the police station) and made me breakfast and even feed Kenzie. He also suggested that I go back to my house and bring back the big cage to move Kenzie into so she has a bit more room to play....(he made Kenzie her own little minature scratching post and everything for the large cage....so I think he likes her.....I certainly don't think he would have done all that if he truely "hated" her...so I think he was just in a bad mood yesterday and is over it today

Thankfully! He's definitely a keeper though

-(I had a dream we got married last night...it was werid!!! My friend Caroline brought rats as a wedding present and they ate my slip.....yeah...I have WEIRD dreams!)