im so furious.. sorry this is gonna be a rant!

[abby robertson]

 
It's really horrible this happened to your daughter (and to you), I'm very sorry to hear about it. I have an independent 17-year old daughter and am always concerned about someone doing something like this. It's a very sad fact that young women are not safe by themselves when they are out, they just aren't. Too often they are viewed as prey, but there are things that can be done to help.

I hope they catch the guy, but you know there's always another jerk around the corner. Like everything else in life, we can't control what others do we can only control how we act. I don't blame your daughter one bit for not wanting to go back outside by herself right now. Hopefully, you can help her reverse that since she needs to restore her confidence again.

It's pretty incredible that anyone would blame you for letting your daughter go out by herself. That's our job as parents, to help our children become independent adults. But there are precautions she can take to help lower the odds of something like this happening again. It sounds like she already has very good instincts, and she was smart to follow them to avoid more harm.

Have your daughter avoid risky neighborhoods if at all possible. Even if she has to take a longer route, take the safer one. Tell her to never wear earbuds when walking by herself. We need all of our senses when we are out, not just to keep track of the people around us (and what they are doing), but also to hear and avoid cars and other dangers. Walk with a friend whenever possible, and avoid walking after dark. Don't walk through parks or alleys at night, especially when alone. Walk with confidence, even if you are not feeling that way. Your daughter might benefit from a self-defense class - just knowing how to act in a dangerous situation helps us feel safer.

If a class is impossible, maybe you could go on the internet together and look up the information. If I am being attacked, what should I do? What are the attacker's vulnerable parts? Should I make noise, fight, or run? What if I'm on foot and someone is following me in a car? Maybe you could practice some basic self-defense moves to help her get her confidence back (and help you feel better, too). Good luck! 

Thankyou for your kind words. Can you BELIEVE they wanted to arrest me for losing it at them?? I went off my head at the nerve of how they treated this.Violence around here WONT  get solved if noone reports it and they  DONT  their actual JOB!

Saffron is doing better though which makes me feel better but im still adamant to find out who did it cos well i guess im venegeful lol! 

I wish i could move out of this area, This IS  the riskiest neighbourhood in this entire state! Ive tried telling her if shes going to have her music on to be more aware of her surroundings but shes never going to tear away from her music..its just not gonna happen but i DO think this has made her more aware so when she is out next time she will be more observant.Shouldnt have to be really but the sad reality is ESPECIALLY  in this area, you just  DO!

Shes on a bit of a Steven Seagal kick... movie wise at the moment and says she now wants to take up Aikido lol like him, it might NOT  be such a bad thing and im going to do it with her.Something that will benefit us both and we can do it together

 

[abby robertson]

 
It's an outrage they won't do anything.  I am sad; your daughter deserves justice.  Even if they didn't catch him, I'm sure it would be of some comfort to her if they would at least make an attempt.  

O she WILL get justice..lol cos im going to sort it!

 

[denice]

I took martial arts for 15 years, not akido but kung fu, worked my way up to a black belt.  I got to an age where getting hit hurt more and took longer to recover so I gave it up.  I still do Tai Chi on my own.  The classic martial arts if taught properly take a long time to get to a point where you can adequately defend yourself.  I am not trying to talk you out of it just talking the reality of things..  If you are interested in self defense a class for just that will get you there faster..  Possibly take a self defense class to get you to a point of being able to defend yourself while starting formal martial arts training.

 

[mwallace056]

Since this pretty bad neighborhood, May I suggest have a friend with when she goes out? Group of friends even better

I agree with Denice maybe you and your daughter could take a self defense class?

 

[kitkat428]

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. I hope you can find this guy. I can't believe the cops just shrug it off like nothing.

 

[detmut]

i took some jujitsu. i like the self-defense nature of it. 

 

[abby robertson]

she does go out with friends but they cant always be there and i dont want her  feeling like she CANT do it by herself. Hes NOT  going to do that to her!!!!!

 

[abby robertson]

Thanks but shes gonna be ok KitKat428 xx

 

[maureen brad]

Abby- I am mad for you! What a creep. I hope he is caught and goes to jail. That is assault

When my youngest was 14 he had saved money for a skate board One day while riding it 4 older bigger kids ( over 18 ) came up to him and they wanted it. He said no and then someone twisted his arms behind his back and shoved him to the ground. They told him to kiss his boots or they would break his arms. He was so humiliated but he did it Then one of them kicked him in the teeth and broke his teeth.

I was out of my mind with anger They did catch those guys.One of them had multiple assault charges.

It felt good that they all ( except one) went to jail.

I am so sorry your daughter went through that!

 

[misterwhiskers]

I def would ensure you and your daughter both have mace spray--maybe even a taser, if they're legal your way. [emoji]128548[/emoji]

 

[abby robertson]

 
Abby- I am mad for you! What a creep. I hope he is caught and goes to jail. That is assault

When my youngest was 14 he had saved money for a skate board One day while riding it 4 older bigger kids ( over 18 ) came up to him and they wanted it. He said no and then someone twisted his arms behind his back and shoved him to the ground. They told him to kiss his boots or they would break his arms. He was so humiliated but he did it Then one of them kicked him in the teeth and broke his teeth.

I was out of my mind with anger They did catch those guys.One of them had multiple assault charges.

It felt good that they all ( except one) went to jail.

I am so sorry your daughter went through that!

im sorry that your baby went through that .The cops here DONT care and never even came to see if she was injured.They told me they werent going to bother for such a "minor offense" but when i catch up with him and I WILL hes gonna wish he never laid eyes on her

 

[abby robertson]

I def would ensure you and your daughter both have mace spray--maybe even a taser, if they're legal your way. [emoji]128548[/emoji]

i would but its ILLEGAL here to carry ANY weapon the only thing that youre allowed to carry is a whistle alarm..  HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT RIGHT????  NOONES going to take notice of it .. noones gonna bother to help cos noone wants to get involved

 

[misty8723]

Since this pretty bad neighborhood, May I suggest have a friend with when she goes out? Group of friends even better

I agree with Denice maybe you and your daughter could take a self defense class?

I would also like to suggest not listening to music on the headphones because you can't hear what's going on around you.

It's a really sad, scary world that this has to happen to anyone! I hope your daughter does go for self defense classes.

 

[abby robertson]

Ive tried to get her to stop listening to headph while shes out but "music is my life mum " is all i get in response. she doesnt go anywhere without her music..she even carries it around the house. so i just have to hope shes gonna be more observant from now on ..NOT  that she should HAVE  to be.. but i worry ALOT .. She says i baby her and i suppose i do shes an only child and i cant seem to help myself so ive been trying to let her go a bit at the age of 16 now but its SO HARD!! 

 

[mwallace056]

I can't go without music for very long, but the truth is if I have kids and we live some bad neighborhood I would probably be more protective and do the same thing, you her parent, tell her to put the music away while out or she won't go out because you worry and explain why she have to be more observant if you haven't already

So are you looking for a self-defense class for you and your daughter?

 

[abby robertson]

She wont listen to me with it. I could yell and make a fuss(and i have done on several occassions) but it wont make an ounce of difference

 She just sees me as trying to " keep her little forever".. typical teenager.. thinking nothing will ever happen to them and "i can look after my self i dont need you!" I gotta let her have her independance but its HARD after what happened with this with her for me.. shes pretty much over it.. but not me! She knows why i freak out but i can see her point too .. i cant keep her to myself 247.. i gotta let her do things. I dont wanna have to be with her all the time so shes just going to HAVE  to be more observant isnt she! I  like to think shes a lil more alert now after this incident..  I  cant always be there! and i do tend to smother her a bit Ive got a bit better than i used to be but this has made me nervy.

It did rattle her quite a bit but at the same time, i am kinda glad shes NOT  shutting herself inside either cos i dont want her being afraid.

Yes we are looking into some martial art lessons .. that somewhat comforts me ..its a start i suppose 

 

[mwallace056]

While I don't know her, I think she will be more alart esp after what happened but with earphones in, it will be hard.

How she feels about taking self defense classes? Is she willing?

 

[abby robertson]

It was actually her idea.Shes an avid fan of Steven Seagal. Tried telling her that Aikido prob isnt one of the best martial arts for quick self defence learning as that one i heard takes years to achieve much at but shes adamant she wants to be like him lol

 

[mwallace056]

That awesome, we'll I don't know anything about martial arts but at least it something, it better then nothing

 

[abby robertson]

Definately!!! Ive actually got Steven on my facebook and im considering writing him for advice