I went for my pre-op appointment with my Gynecologist today.
I had a pelvic ultra sound done in November and the results came back less than stellar. It showed that I have a thickening of the lining in my uterus.
I went for a follow up visit to the doctor middle of January and found out that I need to have a D&C and biopsy. Surgery is scheduled for March 26th.
I wasn't worried. I figured it could be pretty much anything, even a result of my Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
Today I went for an EKG, chest xray, blood work and urine test, and then to see the doctor.
At my old job I was working with gyne patients on the ward, but I saw them after they had their surgery so I really had no clue about their pre-op diagnosis because as a surgical nurse all you care about is the post op portion.
Today I talked to the doctor. She said that it could not possibly be Endometriosis, and the thickening has nothing to do with my PCOS. She told me that it's either a "Polyp" or pre-cancerous cells. And then added that the likelihood of pre-cancerous cells is significant.
Now from a nursing perspective, I know that means I'm facing a hysterectomy in the near future. Either partial (ovaries left) or total (everything out), and that because of my PCOS it will end up being a total.
Now here comes the good news and bad news.
Good news: A total hysterectomy which shows no spread to the lymph nodes and no cancerous cells seen outside of the lining. No chemo, no radiation. Or maybe a few does of radiation to make sure. Off work for probably 6 weeks.
Bad news: The hysterectomy shows spread beyond the lining and even into the lymp nodes. Which means chemo and radiation.
I've always said that if they ever found something wrong with me that could be terminal, that I don't want to know. But now here I know...or at least I likely know. And now what do I do?
I have worked with cancer patients for a long time. I've seen them at their best and their worse and I've seen them at the beginning and at the end of their disease. The middle and end is not very pretty!
And now I work exclusively in a Cancer Treatment Centre and I see patients undergoing all kinds of Chemo and Radiation for cancer and I see the horrid side effects of both. And because I know all of that.... what do I do?
All I know is that I'm sitting here and suddenly the tears start to fall.
I'm afraid. I'm really, really, really afraid
I had a pelvic ultra sound done in November and the results came back less than stellar. It showed that I have a thickening of the lining in my uterus.
I went for a follow up visit to the doctor middle of January and found out that I need to have a D&C and biopsy. Surgery is scheduled for March 26th.
I wasn't worried. I figured it could be pretty much anything, even a result of my Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
Today I went for an EKG, chest xray, blood work and urine test, and then to see the doctor.
At my old job I was working with gyne patients on the ward, but I saw them after they had their surgery so I really had no clue about their pre-op diagnosis because as a surgical nurse all you care about is the post op portion.
Today I talked to the doctor. She said that it could not possibly be Endometriosis, and the thickening has nothing to do with my PCOS. She told me that it's either a "Polyp" or pre-cancerous cells. And then added that the likelihood of pre-cancerous cells is significant.
Now from a nursing perspective, I know that means I'm facing a hysterectomy in the near future. Either partial (ovaries left) or total (everything out), and that because of my PCOS it will end up being a total.
Now here comes the good news and bad news.
Good news: A total hysterectomy which shows no spread to the lymph nodes and no cancerous cells seen outside of the lining. No chemo, no radiation. Or maybe a few does of radiation to make sure. Off work for probably 6 weeks.
Bad news: The hysterectomy shows spread beyond the lining and even into the lymp nodes. Which means chemo and radiation.
I've always said that if they ever found something wrong with me that could be terminal, that I don't want to know. But now here I know...or at least I likely know. And now what do I do?
I have worked with cancer patients for a long time. I've seen them at their best and their worse and I've seen them at the beginning and at the end of their disease. The middle and end is not very pretty!
And now I work exclusively in a Cancer Treatment Centre and I see patients undergoing all kinds of Chemo and Radiation for cancer and I see the horrid side effects of both. And because I know all of that.... what do I do?
All I know is that I'm sitting here and suddenly the tears start to fall.
I'm afraid. I'm really, really, really afraid