I'm feeling so guilty :(

[pulseandhaze]

I know cats don't really hold grudges or hate you forever for scaring them, but I just feel so bad. I have to give Fenris ear medicine for a yeast infection and I tried to scruff him, but he's so good about dodging before I can get a good grip. I tried it three times and then he went under the bed. So I gave him his space and took a nap... When I woke up he was in the walk-in closet, so I closed the door and got him there. He's so gentle though, and if you annoy him or stress him out, he just runs. So he tried to do that a few times, and realized it didn't work because he had no where to go, and that's when the hissing/swatting started.

I finally did scruff him and was careful to pick him up by the feet, and after I applied the medicine, I let go and slowly pet him and scratched his cheek lightly a few times before opening the door. But he's been under the been ever since then like 3 hours ago. 

 I've only had him a month, and I'm scared this is going to make his safe home feel like it's unsafe now. I haven't tried to coax him out or anything but I'm just worried about this because I have to do this for another week. 

Is he going to eventually realize I don't want to kill him? I feel so bad CORNERING him like that, he's never hissed or growled at me until today.

 

[tulosai]

Unfortunately, cats don't always know what's good for them

 Have you tried giving him treats after administering the medicine? If he's at all food motivated, that should definitely help soften the blow. 

 The bottom line, though, is that you really shouldn't feel guilty- this is just want you need to do to be a good and responsible pet owner for the next week.  While in all honesty this may be a bit of a set back in your personal relationship with him, he will definitely eventually get over it- cats, bless them, mostly live firmly in the NOW, so it won't take him long to feel safe again once this is all over.

Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes 

 

[molly92]

It's going to be okay! This stuff has to happen sometimes, and there's not a lot you can do besides offering lots of treats and leaving them alone. The first 2 weeks I had my current cat, she had to go to the vet 4 times and had 3 enemas! And I had to give her baths and force medicine down her throat on top of that. There was a lot of hissing and hiding for a while. She figured out she could get her cuddles and petting at night and I wouldn't take her to the vet, but during the day she hid. But she recovered emotionally very well, and faster than I would have if I were in her place honestly.

Your cat knows you're trying to take care of him. He thinks you do a pretty good job normally, with giving him food and petting and warm beds and everything. You just clearly don't understand that liquids should not be squirted in his ears! He doesn't blame you for not understanding that, because humans do weird things sometimes and cats know that, but he's going to do his best to make sure you don't do that again. Once the week of medication is over and he feels reasonably sure you're not going to try to put medicine in his ears anymore, he will be back to his normal self. He would much rather be with you than under a bed, so he won't stay hidden for any longer than he feels he needs to to be safe. He might even be more affectionate after everything is over, because he'll be feeling better without the infection. I've taken care of cats that became very forgiving about having to take their medicine, and I could swear it was because they noticed such a dramatic difference in how they felt.

Meanwhile, you do have to do whatever is necessary to give him the medicine everyday. Wrapping him in a towel like a burrito might be a good method in this case. It will be easier to hold him, ensure that you won't get scratched, and you will feel calmer and more confident which will make him more likely to trust you. Some cats are also comforted by feeling tightly enclosed by the towel like that.

 

[yayi]

It's true cats don't hold grudges so you don't have to worry. Fenris just does not like the medicine. Every time I have to give my cats the flea medicine, I must start with 9 year old San because if he gets away I'll never catch him, then he somehow "warns" the others and then I am left standing in an empty house holding an open Frontline pipette. 

 When I finally succeed, San will be wary of me for a while but he returns to his loving self before the day is out. 

Remember Fenris needs his ear medicine. Maybe you can add a treat to your petting after the deed is done to tell him what a good boy he was. I give San a treat and it seems he does give me this "I forgive you" look" afterwards. 

 

[pulseandhaze]

 
Unfortunately, cats don't always know what's good for them

 Have you tried giving him treats after administering the medicine? If he's at all food motivated, that should definitely help soften the blow. 

 The bottom line, though, is that you really shouldn't feel guilty- this is just want you need to do to be a good and responsible pet owner for the next week.  While in all honesty this may be a bit of a set back in your personal relationship with him, he will definitely eventually get over it- cats, bless them, mostly live firmly in the NOW, so it won't take him long to feel safe again once this is all over.

Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes 

I felt so bad, I didn't even think to give him a treat or prepare one nearby. I'll definitely bring the bag next time! I'm prepared that he'll be skittish of me for a little while, especially after cornering him. 

 

 
It's going to be okay! This stuff has to happen sometimes, and there's not a lot you can do besides offering lots of treats and leaving them alone. The first 2 weeks I had my current cat, she had to go to the vet 4 times and had 3 enemas! And I had to give her baths and force medicine down her throat on top of that. There was a lot of hissing and hiding for a while. She figured out she could get her cuddles and petting at night and I wouldn't take her to the vet, but during the day she hid. But she recovered emotionally very well, and faster than I would have if I were in her place honestly.

Your cat knows you're trying to take care of him. He thinks you do a pretty good job normally, with giving him food and petting and warm beds and everything. You just clearly don't understand that liquids should not be squirted in his ears! He doesn't blame you for not understanding that, because humans do weird things sometimes and cats know that, but he's going to do his best to make sure you don't do that again. Once the week of medication is over and he feels reasonably sure you're not going to try to put medicine in his ears anymore, he will be back to his normal self. He would much rather be with you than under a bed, so he won't stay hidden for any longer than he feels he needs to to be safe. He might even be more affectionate after everything is over, because he'll be feeling better without the infection. I've taken care of cats that became very forgiving about having to take their medicine, and I could swear it was because they noticed such a dramatic difference in how they felt.

Meanwhile, you do have to do whatever is necessary to give him the medicine everyday. Wrapping him in a towel like a burrito might be a good method in this case. It will be easier to hold him, ensure that you won't get scratched, and you will feel calmer and more confident which will make him more likely to trust you. Some cats are also comforted by feeling tightly enclosed by the towel like that.

How am I supposed to get him in a towel if I can barely even grab him? Should I do that after catching him? This does make me feel miles better though... Your whole response. Thank you. 

 

 
It's true cats don't hold grudges so you don't have to worry. Fenris just does not like the medicine. Every time I have to give my cats the flea medicine, I must start with 9 year old San because if he gets away I'll never catch him, then he somehow "warns" the others and then I am left standing in an empty house holding an open Frontline pipette. 

 When I finally succeed, San will be wary of me for a while but he returns to his loving self before the day is out. 

Remember Fenris needs his ear medicine. Maybe you can add a treat to your petting after the deed is done to tell him what a good boy he was. I give San a treat and it seems he does give me this "I forgive you" look" afterwards. 

Yikes! How do you manage to finally get him when he runs away? I'm definitely going to give a treat next time I have to apply it though!

 

[yayi]

Yikes! How do you manage to finally get him when he runs away? I'm definitely going to give a treat next time I have to apply it though!

Oh, I have several tricks - one, I act like I changed my mind and gave up. He somehow always falls for this one. He comes out and he gets caught. The second trick is telling him I have a surprise (favorite snack). It works half the time. The last one I get the help of the other cats. I give them the meds and they somehow show me where San is. I think they blame him for what they just went thru. 

 

[molly92]

@yayi, I had to laugh at your other cats turning San in!

@pulseandhaze, you're so welcome! And yes, the towel is for after you catch him. Although I suppose throwing a towel over an unsuspecting cat and tackling him is an option that might work for some cats! Since you're doing this daily and he's going to be on the lookout, it's easiest if you can confine him in a room where all of the hiding places that you can't reach are blocked off ahead of time. Luring him out with treats might work once, but he won't likely fall for it twice in a row.

 

[pulseandhaze]

 
Oh, I have several tricks - one, I act like I changed my mind and gave up. He somehow always falls for this one. He comes out and he gets caught. The second trick is telling him I have a surprise (favorite snack). It works half the time. The last one I get the help of the other cats. I give them the meds and they somehow show me where San is. I think they blame him for what they just went thru. 

 NICE. I don't think any of those tricks are going to work for me, but I'm glad they work for you. That's too funny!

 

 
@yayi, I had to laugh at your other cats turning San in!

@pulseandhaze, you're so welcome! And yes, the towel is for after you catch him. Although I suppose throwing a towel over an unsuspecting cat and tackling him is an option that might work for some cats! Since you're doing this daily and he's going to be on the lookout, it's easiest if you can confine him in a room where all of the hiding places that you can't reach are blocked off ahead of time. Luring him out with treats might work once, but he won't likely fall for it twice in a row.

Alright, I'll try the towel. Anything that will make him more comfortable... He hasn't left either under the bed or beside it all day. Poor babe...

 

[pulseandhaze]

A little update: @Molly92  The towel definitely had him a lot calmer, I think. He didn't try to break free of it and relaxed until I released him. (I have to do this twice a day 

) Thankfully, he ran into the bathroom this time which was much easier to catch him, and he didn't swat when the towel went over his body.

But I have a small concern, probably not much to worry about: both times he's come out of hiding, he's cleaned himself, majorly in his ear area. Probably because of the medicine? I don't want him to over clean-- could that be bad? Or is it nothing to worry about?

 

[molly92]

Oh good! As long as you've gotten the medicine in there pretty good, I don't think you have to worry about the grooming. It probably feels uncomfortable and he's trying to get rid of the sensation, and it also might smell weird to him. Grooming is also comforting and he might partially be doing it to calm himself down and relieve stress. I would not be worried!

 

[pulseandhaze]

Well today was the last day I had to give him the ear medicine. I tried to block off under the bed for 4 days and he kept finding ways to burrow under there, so I gave up and only kidnapped him for the meds during meal times. Which was fine. But now he's only coming out from under there to eat or at night when he KNOWS I'm asleep. 

I know he's frustrated, but I'm just so concerned he's going to be like this for a while. Unsure what's safe. He still hisses at me when I try to grab him, but the towel has made it so he doesn't even think to swipe at me, so that's nice. I just wish he didn't associate being grabbed with my hands so much. I wanted to make him feel safe, so I brought him a treat when he was under the bed and ducked my head down so I wasn't looking at him. He ate it from my hand, and then sniffed my hand, so I thought I could pet him, but the second I tried, I got the hiss. 

 My poor baby, I feel bad how distraught and wary he is. Hopefully this is mostly because of an invasion of his safe space and not because he's afraid of me.

 

[molly92]

Hooray for no more medicine! Hissing is how a cat says, "I'm not comfortable with this." It will be good now that you don't have to ignore him and can back away when he hisses to show that you're respecting his wishes and earning his trust back. How long it takes for a cat to determine you're no longer a threat varies a lot. You can try hanging out near him doing things that will not indicate that you're about to grab him. For example, my cat learned that she wouldn't be stuffed in a carrier if I was lying down, so she would come out of hiding and crawl on top of me if I lay down on the floor. When you try to pet him, do it with one finger extended or your hand in a fist he can rub up against, because that does not look like a hand that is about to grab him. But mostly it's just going to take time.

 

[losna]

 
 But mostly it's just going to take time.

Treats help, too!

When Sinbad has to take medicine, if we stick to the same timing for a couple of days, he actually comes out for it when it's medicine time! He has learned that when there are horrible nasty things done to him, he gets super tasty treats, cuddles and extra playtime afterward. 

 

[pulseandhaze]

 
Hooray for no more medicine! Hissing is how a cat says, "I'm not comfortable with this." It will be good now that you don't have to ignore him and can back away when he hisses to show that you're respecting his wishes and earning his trust back. How long it takes for a cat to determine you're no longer a threat varies a lot. You can try hanging out near him doing things that will not indicate that you're about to grab him. For example, my cat learned that she wouldn't be stuffed in a carrier if I was lying down, so she would come out of hiding and crawl on top of me if I lay down on the floor. When you try to pet him, do it with one finger extended or your hand in a fist he can rub up against, because that does not look like a hand that is about to grab him. But mostly it's just going to take time.

Thank you for all your help. 

 I'm glad I can use the hissing to my advantage by showing him he's boss again. I was worried it was more angry than that. That's also really cute how you cat climbs on you. I hope he can find the confidence to conquer me like that haha. It's like the flag on the moon.

I'll go see how he responds to the fist thing right now. That makes so much sense...

 

 
Treats help, too!

When Sinbad has to take medicine, if we stick to the same timing for a couple of days, he actually comes out for it when it's medicine time! He has learned that when there are horrible nasty things done to him, he gets super tasty treats, cuddles and extra playtime afterward. 

I've been giving him treats every time I gave him the medicine and trying to play with him when I can but he just wants to stay under that bed. He's close to the edge though, and I can see him watching me, curious, but there's no bite on that fishing pole!! Oh well... I hope he comes around!