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I'm forcing myself to go to work today. I have a sudden urge to stay home. It's so overwhelming, it's frightening.
I think I was having a panic attack. It hasn't completely subsided, but I'm on my way to work.
These are great accomplishments - I've been there and can't tell you how many times I just couldn't make it into work. I know it's been a few days and I'm late in commenting but it's still not too late to give yourself credit for getting there.I've been cooking today. Even if it's just been eggs and macaroni, it's better than using the microwave all the time.
My wife can sympathize as she is in constant pain also through Lupus, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia and a few other things. Oh why oh why can't there just be a pill that takes it away without side effects.I haven't had a pain-free day since I was sixteen.
Right now, I'm lying in bed. I have things to do around the apartment, things I've been putting off for a week. I finally decided to get started, only to immediately change my mind.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this ... I suffer from clinical depression {and many other types as well} My advise is to get to a good doctors or shrink so that they can start helping you ..perhaps with medication { I would be dead without it} It is very hard to find a good doctor and its hell while they try to find the best treatment for you. Please reach out to friends or family that you think will be understanding and supportive of you through this nightmare my doctor told me to get a sphinx cat ....as a therapy cat which has now led me to this wonderful site. Please remember that you are not alone with this .... God Bless ..... { as I shoot up a prayer for you } ..... {Be good to yourself because you are worth it}
I've been prone to depression in the past, but this feels so much worse. This has not been a good year overall, what with personal setback after setback, and the political situation. I'm angry and sad by turns.
I have a job, and I should be grateful for it. I work for wonderful people. But when I'm there, all I can think about is going home and going to bed. Despite all my time in bed, I've lost countless hours of sleep.
I've got physical issues that leave me in constant pain. I'm 30 years old and feel twice my age.
Don't worry, I'm not neglecting my cats. I'm neglecting myself. I'm not eating like I know I should, but I can't seem to find the motivation anymore to make anything that isn't microwaveable. I've lost weight that I can't afford to lose.
I love movies, yet lately I'll decide to watch one, only to instantly change my mind and crawl in bed instead. I hate that I'm losing interest in something that mattered to me.
I'm sorry, but I felt I needed to unload all of this. All I know is that something's very wrong with me.
Amen You are so right
I had Paxil once a long time ago, but I forget what it did to me that I had to quite. The one that helped me was Effexor XL, but I had such a horrible time getting off it I'll never take it again, no matter how bad I get. I'm taking Wellbutrin at the moment. It doesn't work any where near as well as the Effexor did, but it helps with my OCD issues. I don't even take it every day.It turns out the reason I was worsening was because the Paxil was messing with my nervous system and making me extremely lethargic. The doctor has told me to stop taking it, and he'll find something else for me by my next appointment.