I'm beating myself up...please help

[babybooboosmom]

Hi there.  My 19 year old cat, Jake,  was euthanized yesterday and I'm still so upset by how it happened.  The Technician and doctor were very sweet and sympathetic.  I was really struggling on if I was doing the right thing but he had kidney renal disease and could barely walk, kept falling over and was not able to go to the restroom (#2).  So I decided it was time.  The technician took Jake out of the room to insert the iv.  She came back with him wrapped in and he was growling...not a happy camper.  Granted, he's always been a "tempermental" cat with others besides me and my family.  We kind of joked about it and I held him for some time soothing him and relaxing him.  

When it cam time to make the "injection", after about 5 seconds, Jakes eye widened and he stiffened his whole body and let out the loudest HOWL i've ever heard.  It was the most intense thing I have ever had to deal with.  I watched his eyes and they started shaking and finally he expelled a couple loud breaths and then he passed away.  

My question:  I'm afraid that the injection didn't actually reach his vein because all the articles I've read, the passing was always so peaceful.  This was NOT peaceful.  I am beating myself up over this. I keep replaying this over and over in my mind.  If I had known he was going to react so violently, I wouldn't have done it...or not wanted to be there.  Did he suffer?  I need to  know if there is any possibility that he felt the pain of the injection.  What are your thought?

 

[williecat]

When I had my Willow PTS, also due to renal failure, she was quiet but her tail fluffed up along with the hair along her spine. I asked the tech if it was because of fear or pain and she said no, it just happens sometimes. She also said sometimes they do make loud noises, sometimes seem to struggle or twitch but she said its just the body's way of relaxing and that the animal was not suffering. It was so hard to do and see, but I know it was the right thing for her. Try to find the peace in the last gift you gave Jake. You took away his pain, let him pass with love and you were his last sight before leaving this earth. I tried to think of what I'd want when it's my time to go, and love and compassion are at the top of the list. RIP Jake

 

[mrblanche]

It sounds like you did the best you could for Jake, and while it's always upsetting to let them go, in retrospect, you'll know it was an act of mercy and love.  The body reacts in different ways, and there is no way to predict it.
 

 

[jcat]

It sounds like you did the best you could for Jake, and while it's always upsetting to let them go, in retrospect, you'll know it was an act of mercy and love.  The body reacts in different ways, and there is no way to predict it.

RIP, Jake.

 

[matts mom]

You did the best you could for your cat, and at least you were there for him. Your cat left this world knowing that you loved him to the very last.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

Have you talked to your vet about what happened.  I am sure he would answer your questions.  I am sorry.  Hugs.
 

 

[angels mommy]

I'm so sorry. As the others said, you did what was right for Jake. It's never easy, I'm sure. I willl say a prayer that you have peace with it. Sending big,big, hugs!! 

 

[feralvr]

So sorry for your loss and yes, that must have been very upsetting for you to see. That can happen and as other's have said, the body of our beloved pets can act differently as they pass to the bridge. You gave Jake a wonderful, long life filled with tender loving care, even in his last moments.

Play peacefully Jake

 

[my4llma]

cat20sorry20for20your20loss.jpg

• my4llma
• Sep 23, 2012

Jake

 

[eb24]

Oh I am so sorry you had to go through this. I do agree that all animals react differently and that was just Jake's reaction. I wouldn't think he was in pain but, if by chance he was, I would think it was far less painful than continuing to live at such an advanced age with such an advanced disease. You gave him the kindest gift that you could. And, even though it was hard on you, the last thing he saw was your face- the face of someone who he loved and who loved him back. That, if nothing else, should provide you with comfort. 

Know that you did everything you could for him. You gave him a life full of love, happiness, and fun. And, in the end, you did what was best for him even though it was not what you wanted. Being able to let him go in the kindest way possible shows how much love and respect you had for him. 

I hope you can find a way to make peace with this and remember all your good times with Jake and not just the sad end. I think if he could tell you anything it would be "thank you." 

RIP Jake. 

 

[catsallaround]

For anyone in facing this you can always ask a sedative be given NOT in the vein.  Just a muscle shot.  The cat will go down and be floppy but for cats who you know there will be an issue getting an IV started it may be worth it. 

I have had a cat who they missed the injection on and they had to run and get another shot(was obvious due to the  bubble forming under skin).  Also had a feral who twitched and moved some even though he had been given a sedative first.  I think it depends on the cats state and the fighters keep fighting to the end-doesn't mean it is the wrong time.

You took a long painful death and made it happen in a MUCH shorter time.  Of all the cats and a dog I had euthanized only a few have cried out, one went to the bathroom and the dog had aggresion issues and was over protective of me.

 

[rosiemac]

What an awful experience for you. Know that your little boy is no longer suffering, and is safe and well at the Bridge 

 

[katiesmom]

I am so sorry for your loss! You certainly did the right thing. He was suffering and you held out as long as any great parent would. I am dealing with my 18 year old baby, who in the last week has had it rough, with infections. I'll keep her going as long as I can, I only wish I didn't work a full time job and could be here more with her. My condolences on the loss of your beloved pet.

 

[ak12taco]

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my sweet Taco almost 2 weeks ago...(CRF)....I absolutely bawled when reading your thread/post..Im new here and dont know all the proper lingo and protocol yet so bear with and pardon me ...I dont know much so Ive come to rely on the internet for answers....theres a great site ....Pet euthanasia-everything an owner must know...it was helpful in my losing Taco, tons of great info on the whole process...again Im soooo sorry for your loss and all you went thru!