I'm at my wits end. Please help

[joshuad]

I have a 3-4 year old cat who won't stop meowing at night. I get woken up at 4 in the morning every night to either let this cat in or let it out. I simply cannot do this any more. If I can't find an inexpensive solution to this problem I am simply going to have to get rid of the cat. I absolutely do not want to take him to the pound, but if that's my only option I will do it. I can't spend any more nights not sleeping.

I suspect he has some sort of bowel disorder. Keeping a litter box in my room is unacceptable.

I would just leave him as an outside cat, and I am going to try doing this again, but my roomates let him in and he walks around the hallways for hours meowing until I get up.

Notice the posting time. 5am EST. I have school and work tomorrow and instead of sleeping I am up posting on this message board.

I don't want to have to make the cat's life miserable by sending him to a pound, but I don't think I have any family members who will take him in, and I simply can't sacrifice my life for a cat that insists on waking me up every single night he's left inside or who, if put outside for the night, gets let in and meows in the hallways to wake me up.

I believe it's a medical problem. He has a food allergy that was causing dermatitis. I have found food that doesn't cause that problem anymore. I think he needs to go to the bathroom so he needs to be let out, and then my roomates simply don't have the ability to keep him from getting inside as they are leaving.

I am going to be very clear: I can only afford to pay a very small sum of money to get this fixed. Otherwise I will have to get rid of the cat. If you think the cat is better off at a pound you're

ing crazy. So please avoid the "lecture me on my responsibilities" posts and help me find a solution. If I can't find a way to keep the cat and get a full, uninterrupted nights rest every single night I am simply going to have to get rid of the cat. This would undoubtedly result in a significantly worse life for the animal. I don't want that. he doesn't want that. Please help.

 

[-_aj_-]

if you think it is a medical issue then why havent you taken the cat to the vet? it might not nessacerally cost a huge amount of money

and you say your going to get rid of it - if your not going to take the cat to a shelter, i dread to ask this for fear of the answer but how are you going to get rid of the cat. cats are not something you can just through away just becasue there is an issue

the responses you will get is to take the cat to the vet to rule out or diagnose problems no one on the site can give you a definate answer to your cats problem

 

[joshuad]

. I said I don't want to take him to the pound but if I'm left with no other option I will.

I have taken him to the vet a few times already. That's how we found out he has a food allergy. They've charged me stupid amounts of money at both places for things I simply can't afford. An additional $30 to look at him under a black-light after charged me $120 to come in and see you is gouging no matter how you look at it.

I can figure out a way to pay any small amount to definitely get the problem fixed permanently. I can't deal with open-ended medical bills that don't promise to solve the problem. I like the cat a lot and I'd really like to help him, but I'm not going to mortgage my life financially or otherwise to fix this problem. No amount of responsibility platitudes from you is going to change that. So as I requested in my first post, if anyone can give me any amount of useful information I would be much obliged. If instead you're going to come here and tell me that I have responsibility X, move along. I know I have a responsibility and that's why I haven't gotten rid of the cat yet and it's why I've spent as much as I have already trying to make him better. There's a point where my responsibility to myself becomes more important than one cat.

If you can give me some information that might be helpful both me and my cat would hugely appreciate it. If you're just going to spit morally smug but otherwise useless platitudes at me, please go away.

To give some more information about the cat: He had food-allergy induced feline dermatitis. Switching him to a particular brand of "natural" food seems to have fixed that problem. While trying to deal with that he developed a cloudy white spot in his right eye. I noticed that when he was on the food he was allergic to his urine had a red tint to it. I haven't been able to look and see if that's still the case now that he's on the good food.

I'm not looking for a solution. I'm looking for ideas. If I go to the vet empty handed I'm going to get the same thing I got the last three times I brought him there: "try this and come back again." I can't afford to do that anymore.

I'm in lakewood, new jersey. If anyone knows a reliable vet in the area who might be able to help I would gladly take his or her information.

 

[rosiemac]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

If you think the cat is better off at a pound you're

ing crazy. So please avoid the "lecture me on my responsibilities" posts .

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

: If instead you're going to come here and tell me that I have responsibility X, move along..

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

If you're just going to spit morally smug but otherwise useless platitudes at me, please go away.

First of all, can you show the members here some respect by talking to them in a more civilised manner please?!

Please remember, no one here can give any medical advice as it states in the rules you signed up to

1. No online advice can replace direct veterinary intervention. If you suspect that your cat may be ill, please contact your vet immediately. You are welcome to look for advice in the health forum while waiting for that appointment, but never delay proper veterinary care waiting for Internet advice. Remember that cats, and especially kittens, are very adept in keeping pain to themselves and delaying treatment may cause irreversible damage.

If your going to put the cat outside for good, then perhaps it will be better off in a no kill shelter, or change vets for a second opinion.

 

[c1atsite]

Jersey Shore Veterinary Emergency Service
1000 Route 70
Lakewood, NJ 08701-5961 MAP
(732) 363-3200
Open nights, weekends and holidays according to http://www.njvma.org/find/emergency.asp
Located in Leisure Square Mall according to this page

I would try asking the above phone number for guidance and/or help because they're local to you

About the dreaded issue of cost, talk honestly about the below (how you felt price-gouged, how you honestly like the cat, etc.), and, yes, I'll say it --- beg if you must --but always be genuine. They might advise that you surrender the kitty to a good shelter or they might agree with you and agree you were price-gouged and work with you.

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

They've charged me stupid amounts of money at both places for things I simply can't afford. An additional $30 to look at him under a black-light after charged me $120 to come in and see you is gouging no matter how you look at it.

I can figure out a way to pay any small amount to definitely get the problem fixed permanently. I can't deal with open-ended medical bills that don't promise to solve the problem. I like the cat a lot and I'd really like to help him, but I'm not going to mortgage my life financially or otherwise

 

[farleyv]

You don't say whether your cat is neutered or not. If not, that would be a big part of the problem.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

You mentioned room mates. Are they losing sleep too. I am sorry you are going through this and I do hope both for your sake and for the cat, that you can find a solution.

 

[ruby35]

I have a cat who used to meow non stop. My parents took him for me because he wasn't getting along with my cat. He meowed his head off there too and my dad was ready to give him back to me. But my mom found something called a "calming collar" at Petsmart, which has some kind of aromatherapy or something and she put that on him. Let me tell you, he is like a different cat! Now, he only meows when you first walk in the door to say hello. The rest of the time and all through the night, he's totally chill and doesn't raise a ruckus at all. My parents are really happy about it because they really do like him and they didn't want to have to give him back to me.

You didn't say how old your cat is? Mine was just about a year old or so. I think a combination of that calming collar and him getting older has helped a lot.

Also the thing you said about the cloudy eye concerns me. That would indicate that there must have been an ulceration in kitty's eye (which would explain why the vet wanted to do the blacklight test). The problem is that those eye ulcerations are extremely painful for the cat. If he doesn't get the right treatment for it, it's possible he is meowing because he is in pain. What does this cloudy eye look like today? Does it look worse? I recently adopted a kitten with a permanent scar over his left eye because the high kill shelter he was at didint properly take care of a very severe upper respitory infection he had as a baby. Unfortunately, they just didn't care, so now he has that scar on his eye. But he's still a loving kitty and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I think you should try the collar and see if it has any effect since it worked for my cat. But you should also call the vet whose number is listed above and ask a lot of questions. If I were you, I'd be worried he was in pain and that was causing him to meow so much.

 

[the_food_lady]

Is your cat NEUTERED?

The poor thing; if you think he meows at night because he has to go to the bathroom, imagine what it must feel like to have to go to the bathroom but you can't get to the toilet? You declare that a litterbox in your room is "unacceptable" but it seems that you are unwilling to make any changes. You are the one who took this cat. It is not the cat's fault if he needs to be let out at night. You can get litterboxes that have a cover/hood over the top (in some pretty funky colors) so that things are more "discreet." You can't leave a litterbox somewhere in your place? Would you rather cat start to pee or poop somewhere in your place? You've got to be willing to make some compromises, my friend.

Do you leave food and fresh water out for your cat so that if he's hungry/thirsty during the night, he has access to these?

If you decide you must get rid of this poor cat, contact the local VET clinics and tell them your situation, ask them if you can post a picture/ad of the cat (eg: Free cat to good home poster) at their clinic. Or maybe even some of the clinic staff would be interested in adopting him. The "pound" isn't the only option, you know.

Maybe he's just really lonely at night (cats are nocturnal). Does anyone spend time with him? Play with him?

I feel sorry for him.

 

[c1atsite]

If you live close to a vet school, that is another opportunity available for you.

Source: TCS. http://www.thecatsite.com/Health/76/...erinarian.html

I found a vet school in NJ but miles west of you but if I were in your shoes I would email the person below (Peggy Dorsey) just to see if she has any words of wisdom.

(or call)

I would do so today because some colleges go on spring break early.

Ms. Peggy Dorsey, Director, Veterinary Technology
(856) 227-7200 x 4205
[email protected]
http://www.camdencc.edu/departments/vettech/index.html

 

[bunnelina]

I feel sorry for your cat. I hope you can take time from your busy life to help him find a home with someone willing to give him the basic love and care cats need.

Please think hard in future before you commit to another animal. They are not machines we can shut off at night. They shouldn't be punished or ignored for having health problems or ordinary needs and desires. They are a commitment for as long as they live.

You will find many owners here who get up in the night to do all kinds of things for cats they love. (And they're also working, studying, sick, and/or raising kids and grandkids.) You'll find people here going into debt for veterinary care. If they love the cat, they do it.

It sounds like you aren't committed to your cat and he's not doing well. Please acknowledge that, and give him a chance with someone else, starting with a no-kill shelter.

If you consider this advice to be "spitting a smug and useless moral platitude," I'm sorry. But I feel it's a simple truth that had to be said for the sake of the cat, whether or not you choose to listen.

 

[taryn]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

I If I can't find a way to keep the cat and get a full, uninterrupted nights rest every single night I am simply going to have to get rid of the cat.

Please don't ever have kids. Seriously, I still don't always get a full night of uninterrupted sleep and my son is 7 1/2. Most of the time I do, but there are still times I'm needed in the middle of the night.

My cats wake me up at times, but they are cats, they are like children, if they have needs that need to be met you are going to hear about it.

Try some Feli-way or a calming collar, but if the cat is waking you up because it has to go to the bathroom you can't fault it for that if you are unwilling to provide it with a litter box. If you didn't have a place to go I'm sure you'd be upset too.

I'm a single mother, I'd love to be able to get a full nights sleep every night but that isn't going to happen. It's called being an adult and taking care of your responsibilities. You decided to get a cat, the cat didn't decide to get you.

Contact a rescue or no-kill shelter and give the cat up if you aren't willing to take care of it properly. Animals cost money. I almost don't want to think about how much I have spent on my kittens on the vet(well Attitude especially, she has to go to the vet constantly because she ends up sick with something) and they are only 8 months old. I adopted her from outside(she was born to one of the dumped cats outside) when she was 8 weeks old. She has leukemia so her immune system is suppressed, her main issue is the never ending eye infection, but I just dropped over $200 in the last week due to her having mastitis, vet care is never cheap. I also ended up adopting her brother who is also leukemia positive, he has only seen the vet for routine shots and stuff(he's never been sick) but even that doesn't come cheap.

If you want something cheap then you don't want an animal or a child. If you aren't willing to make any changes.

Taryn

 

[joshuad]

Everyone: Thanks so much for the help. If I sounded very frustrated last night, it's because I was.

The cat is neutered. His brother, Elliot, also lives with me and I have no problems with him. He'll occasionally meow or occasionally be loud at night. I don't mind that. I mind that every single night that Buddha iside in I will be woken up at 5. I mind that every night that I keep him outside for the night I'll be woken up at 7 with him meowing at the door.

I do think there is something medically wrong with Buddha that's causing him to meow in the middle of the night, and I would really like to figure out what it is, fix it, and then stop getting woken up every night.

I'm going to try contacting the people you guys suggested.

I'm really surprised at the responses that say you think he'd be better off at a shelter. Despite the fact that he drives me absolutely mad at night, I have a lot of affection for him and he has a huge amount of affection for me. He and his brother also enjoy playing. I'm shocked that people would say he's better off at a shelter than spending 90% of his life outside with his family.

Hopefully we can make it so he can spend 90% of his life inside with his family.

As to the kid analogy: Really? I understand liking animals, but to draw any sort of parallel between a cat and a human child is just strange. I won't go into the multitude of reasons why I would be willing to get up to take care of my baby child in the middle of the night but why I'm unwilling to do the same for an adult cat. It should be pretty obvious.

 

[joshuad]

Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946

You mentioned room mates. Are they losing sleep too. I am sorry you are going through this and I do hope both for your sake and for the cat, that you can find a solution.

My roommates have been really cool, thankfully.

 

[cosabella]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

I'm really surprised at the responses that say you think he'd be better off at a shelter. Despite the fact that he drives me absolutely mad at night, I have a lot of affection for him and he has a huge amount of affection for me. He and his brother also enjoy playing. I'm shocked that people would say he's better off at a shelter than spending 90% of his life outside with his family.

Hopefully we can make it so he can spend 90% of his life inside with his family.

As to the kid analogy: Really? I understand liking animals, but to draw any sort of parallel between a cat and a human child is just strange. I won't go into the multitude of reasons why I would be willing to get up to take care of my baby child in the middle of the night but why I'm unwilling to do the same for an adult cat. It should be pretty obvious.

You sound like an unpleasant person and I'm sorry for your cat. With your very first post, you came out swinging at the very people whose help you were seeking. However, in their usual gracious manner, they gave you advice and even looked up information for you anyways. Personally, I wouldn't have been so gracious.

The reason I was thinking that the cat would be better off at a no-kill shelter was your attitude and tone. It had a note of finality. It had a bitter resentment towards a cat whose ill health and situation is through no fault of its own. Its biggest problem is an unsympathetic and impatient owner.

I got my current cat when I was in law school. He was and is my first and only. I knew nothing about taking care of cats or how he would fit into my life. During the first few months, he woke me up every night for various reasons. He was sick often. I was a poor student, but I realized that I invited him into my home and I better damn well take care of him. 8 years later, he's still here -- healthy and (I hope) happy.

If you had that attitude before posting, perhaps you wouldn't have rubbed me the wrong way.

Considering that my friend's beloved 19y/o cat is dying, I'm quite unsympathetic to those who think their ill cat is disposable.

 

[missmyra]

what about that calming collar someone suggested? did you see that post? seems to fit the "cheap and easy" solution you seek.

 

[sharky]

Does he have food available at night? many sleepless kitty owners find this a basic fix...

 

[icklemiss21]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

As to the kid analogy: Really? I understand liking animals, but to draw any sort of parallel between a cat and a human child is just strange. I won't go into the multitude of reasons why I would be willing to get up to take care of my baby child in the middle of the night but why I'm unwilling to do the same for an adult cat. It should be pretty obvious.

I think you will find that on a cat site, we are all willing to do anything for our cats.

I don't think I have got a full nights sleep since I brought Quincy home, he is either pawing me, meowing at the bedroom door because I locked him out, meowing because he is stuck somewhere he shouldnt be, meowing because he wants the tap in the bathtub turned on so he can drink from it, trying to open the toilet lid so he can drink from the toilet or something.

Never once have I thought about taking him to the shelter and ours is no kill and very good to cats.

Like sharky mentioned, try leaving food out for him at night

Keep him indoors, he will cry at first to go out but will get used to being indoors. The litterbox doesnt have to be in your bedroom, it could be in a bathroom or elsewhere. Once he gets used to not being allowed out he wont be crying to go in and out. Get some Feliway or other calming spray to help him transition to being indoors.

Check out the resources for vets, get him checked out and make sure there is no blockage and get him dewormed if he has been outside, it could be a worm/parasite issue. My prime reason for thinking that he would be better off at a shelter than outside - there are too many dangers outside that can harm him. The shelter can have him seen by a vet and rehomed to someone who will keep him indoors where he is safer. If he has a food allergy, who knows what he is eating outside - it defeats the purpose of the vet visits you paid for!

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

As to the kid analogy: Really? I understand liking animals, but to draw any sort of parallel between a cat and a human child is just strange. I won't go into the multitude of reasons why I would be willing to get up to take care of my baby child in the middle of the night but why I'm unwilling to do the same for an adult cat. It should be pretty obvious.

You'd be surprised... I think I can speak for many of us here at the cat site that we will do what it takes when our cats need us... My cat Lucky was just recently sick, in fact in the last few days... I haven't slept in about 3-4 nights as I wanted to make SURE she ate every couple, or few hours, to get the nutrition she needed. Yep, this is the stuff we will do.
I am unemployed, and the little I have will go towards my other kitty tumor surgery. No DOUBT about it. No question. Not even a small tiny little faint question.
When they meow all night long, my worry is about them... what is hurting them... what is is bothering THEM? Are THEY in pain? Because us? Come on... We can take care of ourselves... But them? Really? They need US. If they are meowing like that, there is something wrong, and that is what bothers me... not that I can't sleep... That's trivial, IMO.
Maybe that's just me, but that's how I love babies. That's how they should be taken care of... IMO, at least.

Originally Posted by icklemiss21

I think you will find that on a cat site, we are all willing to do anything for our cats.

I don't think I have got a full nights sleep since I brought Quincy home, he is either pawing me, meowing at the bedroom door because I locked him out, meowing because he is stuck somewhere he shouldnt be, meowing because he wants the tap in the bathtub turned on so he can drink from it, trying to open the toilet lid so he can drink from the toilet or something.

Never once have I thought about taking him to the shelter and ours is no kill and very good to cats.

 

[rosiemac]

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

I'm really surprised at the responses that say you think he'd be better off at a shelter.

Please put yourself in our shoes for a minute?.

When someone comes on and posts in the tone you posted with, the cats welfare is priority so you have to look at it from our point of view?. We don't know you, but your first 2 posts spoke volumes.

Originally Posted by JoshuaD

As to the kid analogy: Really? I understand liking animals, but to draw any sort of parallel between a cat and a human child is just strange. I won't go into the multitude of reasons why I would be willing to get up to take care of my baby child in the middle of the night but why I'm unwilling to do the same for an adult cat. It should be pretty obvious.

You see, that's where you obviously differ from the rest of us, because to us an animal still has feelings just as a child would, and if an animal is sick, then they deserve the same medical treatment as a child would.