I found this on the net :laughing2 Hope you enjoy it as much as I did :laughing2
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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God
decided to install voice mail?
I'm not sure where the following came from, but it's
very clever piece called Dialing Heaven. You may have
seen it elsewhere, but just in case you haven't, here
it is. (I didn't want you to miss it.)
--DIALING HEAVEN:
Imagine praying and then hearing this:
"Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, Press 1
For Spanish, Press 2
For all other languages, Press "O."
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
I'm sorry. All of our angels and saints are busy
helping other sinners. However, your prayer is important
to us, and we will answer it in the order it was
received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God - Press 1
Jesus - Press 2
Holy Spirit - Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, please press 4.
To find a loved one who's been assigned to Heaven,
please press 5, then enter his or her social security
number, followed by the "pound" sign. (If you
receive a negative response please hang up and try
area code: 666.)
For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about:
dinosaurs
the age of the earth
life on other planets
where Noah's Ark is -
Please wait until you come for a personal office
visit.
Our records show that you have already prayed today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe
a religious holiday.
Please pray again on Monday, after 9:30 a.m.
If you are calling after hours and have an emergency
situation, please contact your local Pastor immediately
for assistance.
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[color=royal blue]
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God
decided to install voice mail?
I'm not sure where the following came from, but it's
very clever piece called Dialing Heaven. You may have
seen it elsewhere, but just in case you haven't, here
it is. (I didn't want you to miss it.)
--DIALING HEAVEN:
Imagine praying and then hearing this:
"Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, Press 1
For Spanish, Press 2
For all other languages, Press "O."
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
I'm sorry. All of our angels and saints are busy
helping other sinners. However, your prayer is important
to us, and we will answer it in the order it was
received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God - Press 1
Jesus - Press 2
Holy Spirit - Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, please press 4.
To find a loved one who's been assigned to Heaven,
please press 5, then enter his or her social security
number, followed by the "pound" sign. (If you
receive a negative response please hang up and try
area code: 666.)
For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about:
dinosaurs
the age of the earth
life on other planets
where Noah's Ark is -
Please wait until you come for a personal office
visit.
Our records show that you have already prayed today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe
a religious holiday.
Please pray again on Monday, after 9:30 a.m.
If you are calling after hours and have an emergency
situation, please contact your local Pastor immediately
for assistance.
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