As most of you know by now, I have been unemployed since walking away from my previous job in March. Well, in July, I applied for a part-time position in my dream field...and I got it. Since then, it's been a bit frustrating to go through the long hiring process, but I got the call yesterday that I was scheduled to start my new position on Saturday (tomorrow). And, truth be told, for as much as I wanted and dreamed about having this amazing opportunity, I am nervous.
I will be working in a busy veterinary hospital as a pet nurse assistant. The job is very much part-time and doesn't pay much, but I am grateful to have a job at all -- especially when unemployment continues to rise. And, despite the job not being exactly what I would want (as far as hours and benefits), I am thankful for the opportunity to work in the field I want to be a part of. And, with this job, I have a tremendous opportunity for growth.
I've been a bit disillusioned since finding out that they hired two part-time employees as opposed to just one or one full-time employee. And, even though I have no reason to feel this way, I feel threatened by the fact that there is someone else who was just hired for the same position. What if they like him more than me? What if he does a better job than me? What if I was their second choice and they hired me only to fill some hours -- not because they really wanted me to work with them? The list could go on ad infinitum. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for this opportunity. But, I'm nervous too. And, I feel guilty about that.
I will be working from 12:00pm to 5:00pm tomorrow. And, tomorrow will be my one day of training. The girl whose position I'm filling has her last day tomorrow and I believe both myself and the other new employee will be "shadowing" her. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't anxious. Even though I kind of know what to expect, it's still the unknown and that is causing me some anxiety. After tomorrow, I'm on the schedule and on my own. To start, I'll be working Sunday afternoons, Tuesday evenings, and Friday evenings. I did think there would be more hours involved, but I've been told that they're just starting both new employees on the low end. I know that hours and pay increases (as well as promotions) are possible. I just need to be patient and enjoy the process. But, I can't help doubt myself. I wish I could get my mind to just focus on all the positives, but, unfortunately, I am also focused on the negatives. I'm hoping writing this all out will help me with that.
I have to hem my scrubs tonight and I'm not so terrific at sewing and so I'm nervous about that as well. I also have a lot of anxiety about not looking good enough or having a nice enough or warm enough personality. I'm just doubting myself left and right and it's frustrating. I have such an amazing opportunity in front of me and it's a new beginning, a new chapter of my life. I should be ecstatic. And, I am! I'm so thankful and honored and priveleged...and anxious and scared and full of fear. I suppose all of this is normal. I know it's not unusual to feel anxiety about starting a new job. I just feel like all I should feel is gratitude and I'm angry with myself for being as anxious as I am.
I think this whole thread makes me sound like an ungrateful brat. I hope it doesn't come off that way as my intention is just to walk through my fear and embrace the grace God has offered me. So, maybe, could I have some vibes? Advice, even? I just want to start my job with my head held high. And, regardless of how I feel tomorrow, I will do just that. But, some support along the way would be most appreciated.
I will be working in a busy veterinary hospital as a pet nurse assistant. The job is very much part-time and doesn't pay much, but I am grateful to have a job at all -- especially when unemployment continues to rise. And, despite the job not being exactly what I would want (as far as hours and benefits), I am thankful for the opportunity to work in the field I want to be a part of. And, with this job, I have a tremendous opportunity for growth.
I've been a bit disillusioned since finding out that they hired two part-time employees as opposed to just one or one full-time employee. And, even though I have no reason to feel this way, I feel threatened by the fact that there is someone else who was just hired for the same position. What if they like him more than me? What if he does a better job than me? What if I was their second choice and they hired me only to fill some hours -- not because they really wanted me to work with them? The list could go on ad infinitum. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for this opportunity. But, I'm nervous too. And, I feel guilty about that.
I will be working from 12:00pm to 5:00pm tomorrow. And, tomorrow will be my one day of training. The girl whose position I'm filling has her last day tomorrow and I believe both myself and the other new employee will be "shadowing" her. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't anxious. Even though I kind of know what to expect, it's still the unknown and that is causing me some anxiety. After tomorrow, I'm on the schedule and on my own. To start, I'll be working Sunday afternoons, Tuesday evenings, and Friday evenings. I did think there would be more hours involved, but I've been told that they're just starting both new employees on the low end. I know that hours and pay increases (as well as promotions) are possible. I just need to be patient and enjoy the process. But, I can't help doubt myself. I wish I could get my mind to just focus on all the positives, but, unfortunately, I am also focused on the negatives. I'm hoping writing this all out will help me with that.
I have to hem my scrubs tonight and I'm not so terrific at sewing and so I'm nervous about that as well. I also have a lot of anxiety about not looking good enough or having a nice enough or warm enough personality. I'm just doubting myself left and right and it's frustrating. I have such an amazing opportunity in front of me and it's a new beginning, a new chapter of my life. I should be ecstatic. And, I am! I'm so thankful and honored and priveleged...and anxious and scared and full of fear. I suppose all of this is normal. I know it's not unusual to feel anxiety about starting a new job. I just feel like all I should feel is gratitude and I'm angry with myself for being as anxious as I am.
I think this whole thread makes me sound like an ungrateful brat. I hope it doesn't come off that way as my intention is just to walk through my fear and embrace the grace God has offered me. So, maybe, could I have some vibes? Advice, even? I just want to start my job with my head held high. And, regardless of how I feel tomorrow, I will do just that. But, some support along the way would be most appreciated.