I am desperately conflicted about putting my cat down. I understand that I must move forward, but I am haunted by the fact that I chose to euthanize my Tommy rather than take him home for more time with me. I am widowed and having to make these decisions on my own and I just can't seem to do so without terrible regrets after the fact. My Tommy was 15 yrs old and had been losing weight and not eating intermittently for quite some time. I thought something might be going on, but, to be honest, he did not appear to be in distress and could not bear to take him in only to find out he was dying. I finally caved and brought him in and the vet tried several options. They eventually did an x-ray and ultrasound and found he had a tumor in his spleen and fluid/blood that had leaked into the belly area. When I met with the vet, I decided to proceed with putting him down. I am in tears as I write this. I know at that moment, I kept recalling my other cat, who died a yr ago. At that time, being assured he was not suffering, I had hoped he would quietly pass at home. For several days toward the end, I watched him and was certain he would be gone by morning. As the days passed, I started thinking I shouldn't have done this - that I should have taken him in to give him peace. I finally did take him in, but always struggled with my decision at that time to think he would pass at home. With Tommy now dying, I thought ... I guess I honestly thought, I should spare him the distress of bringing him back home and endure my pain of bringing him back to be put down. I know Tommy's time had come, but WHY, why didn't I take him home with me one more day, one more week, ? I can't seem to come to grips with my actions and decision. I just want to hold him one more time. Why didn't I do this?