I need some advice. This is long but bare with me. If you don't feel like reading it all you can skip to tl,dr in bold.
I got a call yesterday from my ex-husbands sister. Apparently he has been in the hospital since July 1st. He had kidney failure, jaundice, hallucinations, irregular heart beat and an atrial fibrillation. They also suspect his liver has been damaged and/or he has cirrhosis of the liver but they are not sure at this time. They said only a biopsy can detect the liver damage and they do not do that procedure at the hospital he is in. They are watching his medication very closely as the normal blood thinners they would give him for the atrial fibrillation can not be used because of the suspected liver damage. They also said if they can not get the atrial fibrillation under control then there is also the possibility of a stroke.
She said even when he gets out he will need 24 hour care. His muscles are extremely week and he will also need physical therapy.
His sister said she could not locate our phone numbers which I can believe as my ex was very bad at keeping contact information were someone could find it. She said she finally found it in his wallet. At this point she can not get into his bedroom. He always locked it. He has a suspicious nature and was always worried about someone stealing something. He didn't even trust his own kids. She said she is going to try to get in today to find his paperwork so she can get him on some type of assistance as he has no insurance. He is on unemployment as he just lost his job a little over two months ago.
Their dad has been basically drinking himself to death. Even if he recovers he can never drink again. He has tried to stop several times and even went to a 28 day rehab about two years ago but he relapsed.
We also found out yesterday that my exs father has Alzheimer's. We had no idea. I don't understand why he did not tell his children that their grandfather was ill.
The advice I need is how to deal with our kids. Our son is 18 and daughter is 16.
I of course will be there for them but it is hard when I really have no say in his care. At this point I don't even know if the hospital can release any information about his recovery.
They both were very upset last night. Not only that their father is so sick but that their aunt waited 8 days to call them. His sister is suppose to visit him tonight and make sure it is okay with him that the kids can come and see him. I don't want to upset him and aggravate any medical conditions right now but at the same time I am concerned for my children.
They have every right to see him and know how he is doing. I am hoping it all goes well and I can take them to see him on Thursday. My son is off work that day and I can take time off to take them up there.
I just am not sure what to say or how to console my kids. There is no love left in me for the man but we did create two wonderful children together even if he was not much of a parent he is still their father and they love him very much.
I want to tell them everything is going to be okay but I don't know that for sure. His sister is taking care of everything right now which I am very glad about. He has another sister as well but she has been out of town on vacation during this and she will not be back for several days. Even though his son is 18 he would not be able to handle it all and I really have no say or responsibility in the matter.
We have been divorced for almost 16 years so this was not a recent divorce. The children are not close to his side of the family at all so I don't see the kids getting any support from his side of the family.
Their father did not like going to family functions so they only saw their grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins maybe once a year at Christmas time. I don't even think he took them the last two years.
I am just wondering if any of you out there have had to deal with this either as the parent of children with a sick mother/father or the child of a sick parent when your parents are divorced.
tl,dr summary: My ex husband of 16 years and father of my children (18 and 16) is in the hospital and very ill. I am looking for advice on how to support my children when I have no say or responsibility in their fathers medical issues or recovery and the kids are not close to his side of the family.
Any experiances and/or advice?
I got a call yesterday from my ex-husbands sister. Apparently he has been in the hospital since July 1st. He had kidney failure, jaundice, hallucinations, irregular heart beat and an atrial fibrillation. They also suspect his liver has been damaged and/or he has cirrhosis of the liver but they are not sure at this time. They said only a biopsy can detect the liver damage and they do not do that procedure at the hospital he is in. They are watching his medication very closely as the normal blood thinners they would give him for the atrial fibrillation can not be used because of the suspected liver damage. They also said if they can not get the atrial fibrillation under control then there is also the possibility of a stroke.
She said even when he gets out he will need 24 hour care. His muscles are extremely week and he will also need physical therapy.
His sister said she could not locate our phone numbers which I can believe as my ex was very bad at keeping contact information were someone could find it. She said she finally found it in his wallet. At this point she can not get into his bedroom. He always locked it. He has a suspicious nature and was always worried about someone stealing something. He didn't even trust his own kids. She said she is going to try to get in today to find his paperwork so she can get him on some type of assistance as he has no insurance. He is on unemployment as he just lost his job a little over two months ago.
Their dad has been basically drinking himself to death. Even if he recovers he can never drink again. He has tried to stop several times and even went to a 28 day rehab about two years ago but he relapsed.
We also found out yesterday that my exs father has Alzheimer's. We had no idea. I don't understand why he did not tell his children that their grandfather was ill.
The advice I need is how to deal with our kids. Our son is 18 and daughter is 16.
I of course will be there for them but it is hard when I really have no say in his care. At this point I don't even know if the hospital can release any information about his recovery.
They both were very upset last night. Not only that their father is so sick but that their aunt waited 8 days to call them. His sister is suppose to visit him tonight and make sure it is okay with him that the kids can come and see him. I don't want to upset him and aggravate any medical conditions right now but at the same time I am concerned for my children.
They have every right to see him and know how he is doing. I am hoping it all goes well and I can take them to see him on Thursday. My son is off work that day and I can take time off to take them up there.
I just am not sure what to say or how to console my kids. There is no love left in me for the man but we did create two wonderful children together even if he was not much of a parent he is still their father and they love him very much.
I want to tell them everything is going to be okay but I don't know that for sure. His sister is taking care of everything right now which I am very glad about. He has another sister as well but she has been out of town on vacation during this and she will not be back for several days. Even though his son is 18 he would not be able to handle it all and I really have no say or responsibility in the matter.
We have been divorced for almost 16 years so this was not a recent divorce. The children are not close to his side of the family at all so I don't see the kids getting any support from his side of the family.
Their father did not like going to family functions so they only saw their grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins maybe once a year at Christmas time. I don't even think he took them the last two years.
I am just wondering if any of you out there have had to deal with this either as the parent of children with a sick mother/father or the child of a sick parent when your parents are divorced.
tl,dr summary: My ex husband of 16 years and father of my children (18 and 16) is in the hospital and very ill. I am looking for advice on how to support my children when I have no say or responsibility in their fathers medical issues or recovery and the kids are not close to his side of the family.
Any experiances and/or advice?