Beth, I am so very very sorry.
I just caught this thread today and have not been here much this weekend. Please dear Beth, there are times when no matter how hard we try we just don't speak the same language in nature as all critters and the living. It hurts us more, I believe, just more room in our bigger brains for guilt and sorrow to seep in, is all. There is nothing you've done that is wrong or not enough - quite the opposite! Your kindness will be repaid, even though right now it seems so dark.
Love,
Elizabeth
Love,
Elizabeth