I need help. I'm thinking of putting down my cat tomorrow.

[cspressler]

Here is the story:

In 2004 I got two kittens, brothers, from a friend. In 2007, while they were out on the patio, a stray cat went by, causing them to turn and fight. It was the redirected aggression. I was devastated. I tried separation, gradual reintroduction, etc. Sometimes it worked for a few days, but not for long. It went on this way for 1.5 years. Eventually, I moved, and when I got in my new apartment they were instantly fine! I suppose since I took them out of the old place where they experienced those issues it was like a clean slate.

Still, the aggression never fully goes away. Since then, small things set them off. For instance, once I brought one home from the vet and the vet smell caused the other to attack. Another time a racoon on the balcony set them off. Things like that. Everytime it happens, I go through my routine of separation and reintroduction. I've tried the Feliway. I've tried a lot. And yet, everytime it worked, but only until a new trigger.

When it happens, I have to separate, which means shutting one out of the bedroom at night. The cat just sits out there and cries, and cries all night and I can't sleep 

I've been afraid to go on vacations, to go away for the weekends. When I go out with friends, I worry they are fighting.

Today it happened again. MY one cat was sick and vomitting, and the other senses the sickness and attacked. My normal stuff I do isn't working and just the sight of each other they go crazy. 

I'm at my wits end with it all. I don't have the energy to go through this anymore. Even if I separate them all night, and tomorrow I get them back together, how long will they last until it happens again? I will sit here all weekend keeping an eye on them to make sure they are okay and not fighting. 

I haven't been on vacation in 3 years!

I took them to the vet today. He said I did more than most people would do. I'm seriously thinking about putting one down. Which is painfully hard. Having to choose which one dies and which one lives. But I can't go on like this.

My sister mentioned re-homing, but they are 11.5 years old. Seniors. I'd worry where they were and how they were doing. 

Obviously I'm keeping one. I've cried all night. It's hard to be in my shoes on this decision. I'm sure people will say not to. I don't want to do a rescue and have one living in a cage for weeks. 

I'm very sad right now.

 

[nansiludie]

I do think if you can't keep one, you ought least give him a shot at a new home. Maybe carefully screen the new potential adopter and ask for references.They might let you know how he is doing for the first few weeks. I do think that if the cat was in an only cat home, they'd do much better. Would your sister be willing and able to take one? I personally do not think a cat to be really a senior at eleven years old, in my mind its older than twelve. I do think that putting them down should be in their best interest and only when there's no other option and the cat is suffering. In this case, as it seems to me, you've grown tired of it and are slightly angry at them. Are they both fixed? As in neutered? I think it would be better to know they are in a home now than knowing for sure, one is dead. I'm very sorry you're in this situation but I honestly do not think, that at this time, putting one down is a reasonable option. I do hope you can work something out for them.

 

[nansiludie]

With rehoming, you're giving one another chance at life rather than just giving up on him. Has either of them ever attacked you or just one another? The Vet might have an idea of someone looking for a cat, an only cat, in the house.

 

[kittyluv387]

You seem like a very caring person so i think you will feel bad for putting one down. I would try rehoming one or surrendering one to a no kill shelter. Might have a chance at happiness still.

 

[Loving Mickey]

I don't think you would feel comfortable or happy with yourself if you were to put one of your kitties down. How could you ever decide which one?? I think both cats deserve to live. I have never even heard of a vet willing to put a healthy cat down. If you truly can't keep both cats, than please surrender one cat to a no kill shelter or maybe a friend or family member would take one. Please do not end one cat's life simply because it does not get another with your other kitty. Please don't do that!!

 

[abbybaby]

In your place I couldn't make that decision. I would contact a rescue society and explain the situation. Finding homes for older cats isn't easy, but it is possible. A lady I know just deliberately rescued a 14 year old cat. He mostly snoozes, but is still feisty and knowing this lady, will have a good life for his remaining years. People like that are out there and a rescue society (which is how she found him) will be able to network, put photos and background info on their web page and reach more people that way.

I understand being at your wit's end with this. I had to say goodbye to my dear cat recently and since I had a home available, adopted another one who is driving me absolutely crazy. I don't know how much more breakage I can endure (two months, six items smashed to bits). She escapes into the hallway every time I open the door, she yowls at night when I shut her out of my room, but is worse if I let her stay (pouncing, knocking stuff over etc.). So I get being stressed, I really do. But you've put up with this for so long, perhaps you could endure it a little longer knowing that there will be an end, an end that results in one of your cats going to a new home, a place that will be better because it will be without the stress of the conflict with the other cat.

I just think that if you decide to put one down you will always have regrets. Far better to miss one of them, to worry about where he or she is and what he or she is doing, than to always wonder if you "picked" the right one or not. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, anyone who would adopt an older cat has a lot of love for cats in order to do so, and will be a great owner. The cat you surrender will have a great last few years and you shouldn't be worried. Please consider this option.

 

[poppy09]

We took in a stray that was older, we only had her for three years but I wouldn't have traded it for anything! She suited us down to the ground as we live in a built up area and she pretty much chose to be a house cat. I always said if we got another cat it would be a rescue as I'd rather give an older cat a home than get a kitten which will be easily re homed anywhere.

It turns out another cat found us, a little pregnant stray and now we have four cats until they are rehomed!

I find it hard to believe we're the only ones with that attitude so I'm sure you can find one of them a loving home. It's definitley worth a try, letting a kitty go that is poorly is heart breaking enough, if he's healthy there will be someone out there that will love him!

On a side note have you tried speaking to an animal behaviourist? If it's to expensive see if you can find a college or university that does a course and see if a final year student can give you some phone advice...

 

[momto3cats]

That must be so hard to deal with, over and over for so many years. I don't blame you a bit for feeling like you can't keep both of them. I just want to say that there ARE people who specifically look for an older cat to adopt, rather than a kitten or young cat. Please give your cat a chance at a new home before putting him down.