I need advice!

[debby]

Well, I know this issue has already been resolved, and I am glad.....but I still have to add my 2 cents worth...

If my hubby wanted to go to a strip club...I would freak out. He would never let me go to one, (with men, of course) and I guess in my opinion, if he isn't satisfied with just seeing me naked, then he shouldn't be married to me. I had a friend who was a stripper, and I know what goes on at these places, and I would consider it as good as cheating if my hubby went, after I asked him not to.

I have friends who disagree and say, "well, when my hubby goes to a strip club, he comes home all *orny and we have a great time"
Well excuse me, but he didn't get that way by looking at you, he was looking at some other naked woman all night and then just came home to take his frustrations out on you!!

I too think it is repulsive.

Just my opinion.

 

[alicat613]

Well, to each his or her own, but like Debbie, just need to voice my opinion too...

I too am young, 24. I can't imagine being able to feel the same about my boyfriend if he wanted to go to a strip club, much less how I would feel if he actually went. My boyfriend and I feel that those places are demeaning to the girls who work there and to the people watching as well. I'm no prude at all, but I just can't see how seeing other people scantily clad is such a big turn on. Sexuality really should be a private thing between you and your lover, which makes it so much more intimate and special. I know he wouldn't want me to go to a male strip club either.

 

[kittyfoot]

I used to switch trailers with a trucker from Montreal who hung out at a strip bar just inside the NB/Que border. They used to stage "amateur nights". Now some of the local"guys" would badger their girlfriend/wife into participating. However,once the lady in question started responding to the crowd all hell would break loose from the now jealous boyfriend. I felt sorry for any woman who would allow some jerk to put her in that position. I've never understood that kind of mentality.

Incidentally,the "pros" were of both sexes and "pros" in more fields than one. One night a male stripper who was "table dancing" at he table behind me dragged his "equipment" across the back of my neck. I broke his pretty face and got banned.

I've known a lot of people over the years who were involved with "strip clubs" and I think I can safely say there is no such thing as a "nice" strip bar. They all have prostitution and/or drug connections with organized crime. Judge your actions accordingly.

 

[tigger]

Debby & Alica, I agree with you both!

 

[debby]

Kittyfoot! I can just imagine the look on your face when that man dragged his...um, equipment across the back of your neck!!! :LOL:

 

[spooky]

Ok...here's an update if anyone wants to know what is going on...Mika didn't end up going last Tuesday and now he isn't sure if he still wants to go. Now get this...Chasey Lane (sp?)-the famous porn star/stripper is going to be at the stripclub that he is going to next week. So he might go one of those nights. I decided not to go with him this time and to just let him go with his buddies for the first time that he goes and next time if he goes again then we will go to one together. We talked about this some more and he isn't really dying to go and he says that its ok if he doesn't go.

Bubbles-you are right when you say that you don't let them do anything and they do what they want...I trust him and I know that if he goes that I won't have a problem with it.

Thanks again everyone for your wonderful words of advice!

 

[lorina]

Hi Spooky! I've been to a couple strip clubs with my ex-boyfriend a few years ago. I know you pretty much have things smoothed over with your husband, but I'll share my experiences anyway.

We hit a few different area clubs that night. I went with my ex, one of his co-workers/friends, and that guy's bisexual girlfriend. Of all of us, I think she had the best time.

It was nothing like what you see on TV, with salivating men hooting and hollaring at the girls. Most of the guys seemed more interested in playing pool (with other guys), watching sports on tv, or just sitting at the bar staring at their drinks. The women... were not exactly what I was picturing, either. Most of them were just average looking, with average bodies. (Of course, I live in a small town about 1.5 hours from NYC. I imagine the really good-looking girls move to the big city where they can make good money.) Up close in particular, they sure didn't give me any inferiority complexes.

After dancing on stage, they'd come around to the tables and do a little "private" dance. No lapdancing. No touching. And they'd talk to us. Most of them were single moms who could make more money working two nights a week than they could working full time, and this lets them have more time to spend with their kids. A few were working their way through college. One or two were married and just really liked what they did for a living. They were the only ones who were actually good dancers, too. None of them flirted with the guys, but some flirted with me and the other girl.

A few complained about how much their backs hurt. Oooh, sexy.

The funniest part of the evening is when they dancers asked me if I were there to audition. When I declined, one offered to lend me her shoes: six inch platform stilletos. Uhhh... No thanks. Really. It's not the lack of proper footwear that's holding me back. :tounge2:

So, all in all, it was a good experience for me. I got to see that it's nothing spectacular and nothing to be afraid of. The women aren't interested in stealing anyone's husband. In fact, they're probably more interested in other women. As long as you know and trust your husband (and I imagine you wouldn't have married him if you didn't), you have nothing to be afraid of.

Just my two cents...

 

[spooky]

Lorina...thanks for your two cents

From what you explained, I think that I pictured strip clubs totally different than what they really are. I used to think that it was girls with big breasts, completely naked that shake their "stuff" right in your mans face and practically jump on top of them. Now that I think about it and after what you said, I guess that I realize that alot of the girls up there are just like you and me and the rest of us women...just trying to make some money. I'm just not so keen on the idea of them coming over by me

Thanks!

 

[sunlion]

Lorina said

"The funniest part of the evening is when they dancers asked me if I were there to audition. When I declined, one offered to lend me her shoes: six inch platform stilletos. Uhhh... No thanks. Really. It's not the lack of proper footwear that's holding me back."

I thought this was really funny! Just imagine "I'd love to be a stripper, if only I had the money to buy shoes designed by the Inquisition that should never be worn on human feet! {big sigh}"

 

[valanhb]

I know I'm getting in on this one late, but like everyone else said...gotta put in my 2 cents.

I have known a couple of strippers in my time, and most of them are pretty normal...they just found a way to make great money with little effort. There are a lot who dance to make money for college. Yes, there are those who are total skanks and unfortunately many of them are drug addicts. The really sad part is that some of the managers of the clubs actually encourage the girls to do coke and meth to maintain their weight!!!

Frankly, as long as it is a pretty high-class place (as opposed to the sleazy ones where the dancers hardly dance and are there more to pick up johns than dance anyway) I would have no problem letting my husband go. Life is too short to be jealous. Nothing against my hubby, but they wouldn't be interested in him anyway - he doesn't have enough money! :laughing: