- Joined
- May 13, 2012
- Messages
- 23
- Purraise
- 10
This is so hard... I am so sad to share that our kitten, Aviendha, recently left our lives. Even after a month, I am still breaking down in tears on occasion, like right now. But this is something I have to do and share and talk about. My husband keeps telling me that I need to let it out and cope and deal. I just repress... but I know that's no good for anyone.
We noticed strange breathing one night three weeks ago, took her to the emergency vet, and it turned out that she had a bad little heart that didn't form well. The x-rays revealed fluid in the chest cavity. The prognosis wasn't good. To summarize, her heart couldn't go on. We had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye the following day. We were simply not prepared!!! You can't prepare for that... but a kitten... MONTHS old? I was so angry at the cosmos. I guess I have to admit that I still am. I am trying to let go of the anger and pain and focus on what a great home we gave her for her short months of life.
So I'll try:
I am grateful that we discovered the situation and she didn't die alone and scared and in pain overnight... the vet said she would've basically drowned that night if we hadn't brought her in. We were able to let her go in our arms, warm, and loved. I am grateful that we picked her and she got an awesome home, with lots of attention. I am grateful she met my mom, who loved her and played with her while she was visiting. I am grateful for her little squeaking that filled our lives for such a short amount of time. I am grateful we rescued her, and she didn't have to leave this world without having known a home. I am grateful she had lots of toys and she was strong enough to play with them for the time she did. I am grateful she had her mentor, our older cat Gwen, who took to her slowly and he taught her to jump on the counter when we weren't looking. I will continue to try to focus on the good and to remember the love we have for her, and to learn to let her go.
::::::::
It was (is!) SO hard. I know parents shouldn't have favorites, but she was my favorite. I was a puddle for days... and on occasion, I am still a puddle. I love her so much. And I see her all over the apartment still. The wound is healing, but some spots are pretty darn fresh. I want to scream "GIVE HER BACK TO ME!!!!!" from the top of my lungs.... I know that's silly, but there it is. :::::::
I picture her on the other side, with my other little angel, Isis. I know Isis is showing her the ropes, and teaching her to pin down lizards.
Rest my little Avi. I love you so very much.
We noticed strange breathing one night three weeks ago, took her to the emergency vet, and it turned out that she had a bad little heart that didn't form well. The x-rays revealed fluid in the chest cavity. The prognosis wasn't good. To summarize, her heart couldn't go on. We had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye the following day. We were simply not prepared!!! You can't prepare for that... but a kitten... MONTHS old? I was so angry at the cosmos. I guess I have to admit that I still am. I am trying to let go of the anger and pain and focus on what a great home we gave her for her short months of life.
So I'll try:
I am grateful that we discovered the situation and she didn't die alone and scared and in pain overnight... the vet said she would've basically drowned that night if we hadn't brought her in. We were able to let her go in our arms, warm, and loved. I am grateful that we picked her and she got an awesome home, with lots of attention. I am grateful she met my mom, who loved her and played with her while she was visiting. I am grateful for her little squeaking that filled our lives for such a short amount of time. I am grateful we rescued her, and she didn't have to leave this world without having known a home. I am grateful she had lots of toys and she was strong enough to play with them for the time she did. I am grateful she had her mentor, our older cat Gwen, who took to her slowly and he taught her to jump on the counter when we weren't looking. I will continue to try to focus on the good and to remember the love we have for her, and to learn to let her go.
::::::::
It was (is!) SO hard. I know parents shouldn't have favorites, but she was my favorite. I was a puddle for days... and on occasion, I am still a puddle. I love her so much. And I see her all over the apartment still. The wound is healing, but some spots are pretty darn fresh. I want to scream "GIVE HER BACK TO ME!!!!!" from the top of my lungs.... I know that's silly, but there it is. :::::::
I picture her on the other side, with my other little angel, Isis. I know Isis is showing her the ropes, and teaching her to pin down lizards.
Rest my little Avi. I love you so very much.