Hi all. I just needed to share my story with people who will understand what I am going through and to maybe get some closure.
I got Chanel and her sister Vera when they were kittens. I was just out of college, working a terrible job in a call center and living in my parent's basement. I have always suffered from depression/anxiety and was at one of my lowest points. It probably wasn't the smartest move financially... but I saw these kittens at a dirty petstore and they just looked so sad and so sick that I impulsively took them home and nursed them back to health. It was the greatest decision I ever made.
The first time I picked Chanel up, she instantly started purring. I knew we would be close. Vera was sweet and affectionate also, but Chanel became attached to me instantly. Within a few months, she learned the sound of my voice and would come running whenever I called her. I didn't even need to to train her with treats... she just wanted pets and affection. This continued over the years... she was just as affectionate as an adult as she was a kitten. She loved our other cats too... was always snuggling with them. Always purring. Always loving us.
She would have turned 6 next week. She was so young still. Last Monday I came home from work and found her dead, under an ottoman. A place she sometimes sleeps, but normally only goes when she is scared. I can't even describe the amount of shock and denial I felt that day. We rushed her to the vet, blew every red light.. but I knew it was too late for her.
There were no signs of illness. Just that afternoon we were playing with her favorite toy at lunch. She was her normal, crazy self. I was only gone for a few hours and then she was...dead.
The vet said it was possibly heart failure due to a genetic condition? We were really concerned since we also have her sister, Vera, so we got an autopsy and additional testing done. The findings weren't 100% conclusive, but the diagnosis was "presumed airway obstruction with asphyxiation due to aspiration of feed". So she just choked? My beautiful, sweet kitty choked on her food? While I was gone?
I am so wrecked by this. I haven't stopped crying since it happened. And I've found a million ways to blame myself. I just can't accept that this is how she went. Only 6 years old. My best friend. The most intelligent cat I've ever met. She has helped me through so much. Always comforted me when I was ready to give up on everything... and now I need her more than ever. I feel like a part of me died that day also.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I almost could have accepted heart failure... but choking? I feel sick. I've stopped free-feeding the rest of the cats so I can monitor them when they eat. I wish I would have done it sooner.
I got Chanel and her sister Vera when they were kittens. I was just out of college, working a terrible job in a call center and living in my parent's basement. I have always suffered from depression/anxiety and was at one of my lowest points. It probably wasn't the smartest move financially... but I saw these kittens at a dirty petstore and they just looked so sad and so sick that I impulsively took them home and nursed them back to health. It was the greatest decision I ever made.
The first time I picked Chanel up, she instantly started purring. I knew we would be close. Vera was sweet and affectionate also, but Chanel became attached to me instantly. Within a few months, she learned the sound of my voice and would come running whenever I called her. I didn't even need to to train her with treats... she just wanted pets and affection. This continued over the years... she was just as affectionate as an adult as she was a kitten. She loved our other cats too... was always snuggling with them. Always purring. Always loving us.
She would have turned 6 next week. She was so young still. Last Monday I came home from work and found her dead, under an ottoman. A place she sometimes sleeps, but normally only goes when she is scared. I can't even describe the amount of shock and denial I felt that day. We rushed her to the vet, blew every red light.. but I knew it was too late for her.
There were no signs of illness. Just that afternoon we were playing with her favorite toy at lunch. She was her normal, crazy self. I was only gone for a few hours and then she was...dead.
The vet said it was possibly heart failure due to a genetic condition? We were really concerned since we also have her sister, Vera, so we got an autopsy and additional testing done. The findings weren't 100% conclusive, but the diagnosis was "presumed airway obstruction with asphyxiation due to aspiration of feed". So she just choked? My beautiful, sweet kitty choked on her food? While I was gone?
I am so wrecked by this. I haven't stopped crying since it happened. And I've found a million ways to blame myself. I just can't accept that this is how she went. Only 6 years old. My best friend. The most intelligent cat I've ever met. She has helped me through so much. Always comforted me when I was ready to give up on everything... and now I need her more than ever. I feel like a part of me died that day also.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I almost could have accepted heart failure... but choking? I feel sick. I've stopped free-feeding the rest of the cats so I can monitor them when they eat. I wish I would have done it sooner.
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