I Hit My Kitten And I Feel Bad

[gruninium]

Our kitten Sahar is 8 month old. My wife and I brought her home 2 months back when she was only 6 months old. She is a cross breed, we took her from my friend who is not a breeder.

We live in a small apartment, and when we brought her home we did the mistake of not confining her in any room. She was always scared and hiding, for the first couple of days we didn't see her at all. She will go out to eat, pee and poop only when we are outside the apartment. We ignored her at that time and slowly we gain her trust and started to roam the apartment but without interacting with us, she used to walk and keep an eye on us, and whenever we make a move, she ran to her hidden place under the couch. One day we woke up and she was a total different kitten, she came to us and played and and night she will sit next to my wife while we are watching the TV.

4-5 days after her change, I woke up in the middle of the night to drink water, I went to the kitchen and she followed me, I couldn't resist to play with her a little bit and here when the incident happened. I sat on the ground and was playing with her then suddenly she jumped on my (out of excitement maybe) and she scratch my face and neck and I bled, I did something very wrong and bad which I regret until today, I hit her hard (one slap on her pelvis) she meowed and ran away. I feel ashamed and low. I regret this action as I know that she didn't understand why I hit her, I feel really bad.

Since that incident, Sahar never interact with me (it happened 6 weeks back). Whenever I am at home she will hide and never came out from under the couch. When I leave the apartment, she plays a lot with my wife, she sits next to my wife, follow her always and she never stops purring, this what my wife always tell me. But once I come back home she will run away and hide, I don't see her at all, always hidden. If I approach her she will hiss and ran away.

I know I did something very bad, but I need your help. Is it possible to gain her trust back and how can I do it?

Please help

 

[maggiedemi]

I think you can gain back her trust if you never hit her again. Start by being the one to give her food and treats. Play with her with a toy on a pole. Try petting her with something on a long handle like a backscratcher, this way she knows that you can touch her without hurting her. She's very cute!

 

[gruninium]

I think you can gain back her trust if you never hit her again. Start by being the one to give her food and treats. Play with her with a toy on a pole. Try petting her with something on a long handle like a backscratcher, this way she knows that you can touch her without hurting her. She's very cute!

Thank you maggiedemi for the reply. I didn't hit again after the incident.

Now, I am the one who add the food and water to her bowls. And daily I offer her treats and she rarely ate them from me. Sometimes, I try to play with her with a long stick and feather, she play a little bit but always fix an eye on me. I will try to pet her with a backscratcher.

 

[di and bob]

Cats have incredibly long memories , especially when an incident like this happens, Cats absolutely hate change and take a LONG time to adjust. Two months is not long at all for a cat to adjust, many weeks to months need to happen before she fully becomes a part of your house. Just like when I stepped on the tail of my feral, you hurt her and now she associates your presence with pain. She will avoid you at all costs, it is survival. She may have been hurt before and her trust in humans is not very high. She is also new to your household and is adjusting, so her stress level is high even if she doesn't much show it. she most likely got carried away in playing with you, did not know the limits and it happened. You cannot change the past. But she is still young, and with patience and time she wILL come around you just have to start over in winning her trust. I know patience is not one of my best virtues, and it may not be one of yours either, but it must happen to win her over again. Start by sitting near where she hides. Whenever you can, several times a day, Talk softly to her, put down a yummy treat, and leave it there when you leave to gain her trust. In a few days bring a wand toy and try to entice her to come out and play. Do not talk angrily around her, or even loudly. Stop when you see her, move slowly. Never stare into her eyes, that is a threat to a cat. Basically ignore her, while talking to her and move slowly or sit still.
Six weeks is a long time for her to be so scared. You might want to try to offer your hand out to her, and get as close as you can. She has to start associating your hands with good feelings.You be the one to bring her food in,set it down and sit across the room and see if she will come out. I'm so sorry she is so sensitive and skittish. My ferals always took a while to accept me again, but they always did. I always started petting them again while they were eating. It distracts them.You'll have to start over, but it WILL happen. She'll learn to trust you again with patience and love.

 

[gruninium]

Cats have incredibly long memories , especially when an incident like this happens, Cats absolutely hate change and take a LONG time to adjust. Two months is not long at all for a cat to adjust, many weeks to months need to happen before she fully becomes a part of your house. Just like when I stepped on the tail of my feral, you hurt her and now she associates your presence with pain. She will avoid you at all costs, it is survival. She may have been hurt before and her trust in humans is not very high. She is also new to your household and is adjusting, so her stress level is high even if she doesn't much show it. she most likely got carried away in playing with you, did not know the limits and it happened. You cannot change the past. But she is still young, and with patience and time she wILL come around you just have to start over in winning her trust. I know patience is not one of my best virtues, and it may not be one of yours either, but it must happen to win her over again. Start by sitting near where she hides. Whenever you can, several times a day, Talk softly to her, put down a yummy treat, and leave it there when you leave to gain her trust. In a few days bring a wand toy and try to entice her to come out and play. Do not talk angrily around her, or even loudly. Stop when you see her, move slowly. Never stare into her eyes, that is a threat to a cat. Basically ignore her, while talking to her and move slowly or sit still.
Six weeks is a long time for her to be so scared. You might want to try to offer your hand out to her, and get as close as you can. She has to start associating your hands with good feelings.You be the one to bring her food in,set it down and sit across the room and see if she will come out. I'm so sorry she is so sensitive and skittish. My ferals always took a while to accept me again, but they always did. I always started petting them again while they were eating. It distracts them.You'll have to start over, but it WILL happen. She'll learn to trust you again with patience and love.

Thank you di and bob for the reply! I will try my best to gain her trust again.

She also has ear mites since she was with my friend, and I am the person who cleans her ears daily and she doesn't like it at all. I think she associates the pain from cleaning her ears to me too

 

[maggiedemi]

Did you get her some medicine for the ear mites?

 

[gruninium]

Did you get her some medicine for the ear mites?

yes, I took her to the vet and daily I have to clean her ears with cleanser and earbuds, then some eardrops in each ear

 

[kittens mom]

While what you did was unacceptable you acted like a human and we all make mistakes.
Most of us have a variety of wand toys that keeps our hands and bodies far away for a young cat that gets overstimulated during play.
So in the context of being hit I doubt there is not one of us who hasn't accidently startled our cats or stepped on a tail or something and they forgive. Your description is of a cat that was not properly socialized to begin with.
You cannot approach a cat that does not want to interact with you. You can win their trust so they come to you. Each time you approach uninvited you reinforce the urge to run and hide. Almost the shyest of cats can't resist Da Bird or other inviting wand toys and that should be your job. To play and then offer up the evening meal. Most cat owners know the trick of the dangling arm and if you sit quietly over time you will find her coming up to sniff and or rub and maybe even gift you with a bonk. Don't pet let her set the pace.
Initial attempts to get her to play may result in little more than her watching remember to make the toy act like a living creature and she'll soon be unable to resist. A cat that is out in the open is a cat that is gaining confidence.
If your wife can handle her please check out Jackson Galaxy's method for the hand off. We had to use it with our Mook after we brought Mercy home and she totally rejected ME!

 

[di and bob]

If you are cleaning out her ears every day, no wonder she runs from you! That's good in one way because once that is done she will learn to trust you again. There are a couple of topical flea medicines that take care of ear mites too, Advantage Multi and Revolution. One application is all that is needed, I use it on my hard to catch ferals cause I only get one chance! It is placed high on the back of the neck. Beats swabbing out ears every day!

 

[RufusGizmo]

yes, I think she will forgive you. I had a friend who accidently stepped on one of my cats, and it took her forever to forgive him, and he still stares at people's shoes years later. you should definately try to let someone else give the meds to her and try to be the one that feeds herr and gives her treats.

 

[dragoriana]

This upset me...but you're asking for help so you obv want to make it up to your kitty. Lots of time, lots of patience, you need to reassure her you are there to be her protector and friend. A gentle and slow approach so she can give you her trust back.

 

[RufusGizmo]

Don't beat yourself up about it. He will forgive you and I know it is startling when they get you with that quick painful claw. Reactions are reactions not intentional