- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #601
where's colby?
-
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i have nothing interesting to say.
- Thread starter blue
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- Feb 6, 2001
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On the way home from a business trip in Miami. What's the matter, my company not uninteresting enough?
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Just a nasty head cold, really. Enough to feel crappy, yet not quite enough to justify staying home from work.......
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Hey! I've been boring for 4001 posts!
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oops, 4002
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I mean 4003....well, you get the picture...
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #608
geez, touchy, touchy !
happy 4000 !!!! posts!
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I'll see what I can dig up. I know cameras were flashing. The basic get-up was black pants and shirt, a black trash bag stuffed with newspaper, and those huge novelty sunglasses.
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Cute, like a baby kitten, or cute, like an idiot? Because it definitely was the latter.
:laughing:
A Brief History Of Medicine
I have an earache.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
I have an earache.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
A Child's Prayer
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
A Nutty Game
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''
Brain Transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.
''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''
''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.''
''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives.
''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?''
''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.''
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #619
someone should say something interesting.
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