- Joined
- Feb 10, 2008
- Messages
- 1,955
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- 30
this is so strange. I've been a very strong willed person my whole life. I always carried a lot of stress, and did it very well. didn't let it bother me, no pain, or sickness etc.
But a few months ago i started getting sick, a LOT. i was sure it was my kindneys because I've had some 'pain' in a strange area and it made sense (i have diabeetus
).
I would get so lethargic I couldn't move. all my web work would go undone, i stopped eating, and boy my sleep schedule went haywire. i would sleep for 2 hours and wake up for 4 or 5 then have to go back to bed. Bizarre.
What I didn't realize was this is all related to worry and stress. Like I said, it surprised me, because I've always carried a lot of stress. but either i've gotten weaker or the stress got a lot stronger. the root cause was money. i've been slowly going broke because i just don't have enough money coming in. my family is dealing with illness, and my mom is SO bad at managing money.
I was at a very bad place, figured i could survive but we were going to be dealing with power shut offs, phone turn offs, satellite turn offs etc, you get the picture.
it even got so bad I think I almost had a breakdown. i woudl get this incredible anxiety, my arms would be all red, and I felt so strange. it progressively got worse and worse and worse and I was very close to going to the E.R.
Well early this week, I picked up a contract that I'd been working on for months and didn't think I was going to get. it's enough income to cover me and my family for 7 months or so on bills, groceries, car payments etc.
The NEXT DAY i felt completely different. first off, i slept for 14 hours that night. when I woke up the anxiety that was making me get up every 2 hours was gone, the aches were gone, the nausea was gone etc. i can tell i still need another couple days to get back to normal because that much takes a while to recover from, but the bottom line is, it's over.
I am 43 years old, and I think it's just that i'm not 20 anymore and can't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. but i have NEVER gotten ill from stress. never ever ever.
How much better I feel is incredible. it's also why i haven't been posting in months except for an odd picture of the cats. I just didn't have the motivation. In fact, the effort it took to take a picture, upload it and post it was about all I could muster.
The mind is an amazing thing.
But a few months ago i started getting sick, a LOT. i was sure it was my kindneys because I've had some 'pain' in a strange area and it made sense (i have diabeetus
I would get so lethargic I couldn't move. all my web work would go undone, i stopped eating, and boy my sleep schedule went haywire. i would sleep for 2 hours and wake up for 4 or 5 then have to go back to bed. Bizarre.
What I didn't realize was this is all related to worry and stress. Like I said, it surprised me, because I've always carried a lot of stress. but either i've gotten weaker or the stress got a lot stronger. the root cause was money. i've been slowly going broke because i just don't have enough money coming in. my family is dealing with illness, and my mom is SO bad at managing money.
I was at a very bad place, figured i could survive but we were going to be dealing with power shut offs, phone turn offs, satellite turn offs etc, you get the picture.
it even got so bad I think I almost had a breakdown. i woudl get this incredible anxiety, my arms would be all red, and I felt so strange. it progressively got worse and worse and worse and I was very close to going to the E.R.
Well early this week, I picked up a contract that I'd been working on for months and didn't think I was going to get. it's enough income to cover me and my family for 7 months or so on bills, groceries, car payments etc.
The NEXT DAY i felt completely different. first off, i slept for 14 hours that night. when I woke up the anxiety that was making me get up every 2 hours was gone, the aches were gone, the nausea was gone etc. i can tell i still need another couple days to get back to normal because that much takes a while to recover from, but the bottom line is, it's over.
I am 43 years old, and I think it's just that i'm not 20 anymore and can't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. but i have NEVER gotten ill from stress. never ever ever.
How much better I feel is incredible. it's also why i haven't been posting in months except for an odd picture of the cats. I just didn't have the motivation. In fact, the effort it took to take a picture, upload it and post it was about all I could muster.
The mind is an amazing thing.
