I hate that my cat sleeps in my roommate's bed

[bitesizeemma]

I recently adopted a new cat, mainly because I had been living alone in a one-bedroom apartment for a couple of months (my roommate who I shared the apartment with went home for a while). She ended up coming back the same day I got the cat. The cat instantly took to her bed and he sleeps there all the time. I myself am in the other room on the couch, waiting to buy a bed (hopefully I'll get one by the end of this week). However, it really irks me that my cat would rather sleep on my roommate's bed than with me. I figured the bed is more comfortable for him than the couch, but the whole reason I bought this cat was so I'd have a companion to cuddle with and take care of. How do I get the cat to like my room better?? What if I buy a new bed but he still won't sleep with me because he's so used to my roommate's bed? Help!

 

[agentspooky]

You might not be able to get him to favor the couch with you, or even a bed. Cats can be quite particular. But if you want to bond more with the cat, spend a lot of time playing with him and show him a lot of affection. You could also try putting catnip in your room, and getting him a cat tree for your room.

 

[andrew hudson]

Oh how I can relate to this! I got a kitten as I don't have any family and wanted the companionship after my 18 year old cat had to be put down. He was extremely faithful and loyal and spent all his time with me no matter who else was around.

Well, this new kitten's a whole different story! He is extremely social and will go to anyone. My flatmate works from home so is there all the time with him. Although I asked him (a number of times) not to encourage the kitten - at least initially - until it had a chance to bond with me, to spend time in his room with him. Yeah, well, he actively encourages the kitten, feeds it, has it in his room even when I'm home etc and now I feel like it's not even my cat!

I asked him if he wanted to keep it but "No", he says "I don't want the responsibility". Jerk! Quite happy to take all the cat's affection and encourage it to be a companion to him, but won't pay for any food etc. Needless to say, I don't like my flatmate very much any more. I'm going to move out and take kitty with me and that's the only thing I can do.

The only choices you have are either to keep the cat locked in your room, with everything it needs there, move out with your kitty, or just put up with your kitty-hogging roommate.

Poor you! I sympathise!

Rachel

 

[tammyp]

Hey, on the bright side, these cats are getting loads of love and care!  I know I feel pangs of jealousy, but I do have to remind myself it is the cat I love, so it is their interests that I champion.  We wouldn't want a roommate who was cold and hostile, or cruel, right?  Sometimes i think that the jealous hurt feelings also drive a cat away!  We gotta let the love shine through (it WILL be rewarded!)

I second the advice to spend lots of quality time with your cat.  That means loads of play sessions, loads of non-insistent affection (cat kisses, talking lovingly, admiring them - rather than grabbing them for a forced cuddle), and invite them to initiate physical contact - often just with the talking, cat kisses, and extending a fist to sniff, they will come rub on you.  Take it slow and follow their lead for how much contact they want - there will always be more later.  You could put the 'cool' toys in your room, and constantly come up with innovative games (a roomie probaby won't have that type of devotion).  You could also find them treats that they love - and only you get to feed them those (put the container in a secret spot in your room if necessary...your cat will know where!).  You might even try Feliway in your room and see if that makes it a more attractive place.  And get a special blanket (mine love polarfleece), make a big fuss of it so they know it is special and that it is theirs - put that on your bed.  Get into a grooming routine - many cats just LOVE to be brushed, so that thing can be yours too (I just cat-sat and was given the cat brush for the first meeting to ensure that the cat loved me; boy did it work! He Loves brushing!)

So basically, you are wooing your cat.  We know a jealous/demanding suitor will never win our hearts...same for our cats  And yes, it is hard when they prefer another, but I can read that while I am not 'the one' for my big boy, he still really loves me. It took me a while to even be able to see it, but when I understood cat kisses, them coming to be in the same room as you, how he responded to me talking sweet nothings - I saw he loved me too.  And I love that he is loved x2!  

My situation is obviously different as I don't have a roomie - I have a hubby - but in your situation, things will change, and that other person won't always be there.  So on a really practical side, I appreciate it is important to work on your cat relationship and avoid a situation where you do the hard things and the roomie gets the easy nice ride of fun company...make sure there are lots of lovely things you do, and some special things just for you.  If you come up with special things, you can then explain to your roomie why they are just for you without it being a negative (afterall, they don't want the responsibility, so they will definitely want your cat to want to live happily forever with you).

 

[lamiatron]

 
You might not be able to get him to favor the couch with you, or even a bed. Cats can be quite particular. But if you want to bond more with the cat, spend a lot of time playing with him and show him a lot of affection. You could also try putting catnip in your room, and getting him a cat tree for your room.

In addition to what @AgentSpooky   said, show your cat tons of attention, but DO NOT pet him if he doesn't want it. It will just annoy him and make him NOT want to be with you.

Definitely up the anty with toys, and spend as much time as you can with him. Also tell your roommate to NOT FEED your cat. You MUST be the only person to feed your cat. and when you do, when you bring that food to him and he hunkers down to eat, sit next to him, praise him, pet him and bond with him. All while he's eating. It will help to build trust between u and your cat, and also a bond. 

I hope your cat will sleep with you on your bed after you get it. i would not recommend putting catnip on or around your bed or couch, because it will have the OPPOSITE  effect in the sense that, kitty will not hunker down and sleep with you, but he will go ape **** bananas and keep you up all night to play (I made the mistake of putting catnip all over my cats new cat bed, figured he'll like it...and boy did he ever! just not to sleep in it -__-)

You can't help it, seems you have a social little kitty, and trust me you will love this as he gets older, and you bring strangers around your cat, but that also means they like to share their affection, or go to where they are getting instant gratification. My cat likes to be in my room-mates room sometimes too (she has a bigger room). He'll run around, cuddle with her and her boyfriend, and even sit on her boyfriend's back while he's knocked out, but at night time he's no where else but with me in my bed (on my hair to be more precise)

Good luck, don't be upset, and don't give up

 

[lamiatron]

 
Oh how I can relate to this! I got a kitten as I don't have any family and wanted the companionship after my 18 year old cat had to be put down. He was extremely faithful and loyal and spent all his time with me no matter who else was around.

Well, this new kitten's a whole different story! He is extremely social and will go to anyone. My flatmate works from home so is there all the time with him. Although I asked him (a number of times) not to encourage the kitten - at least initially - until it had a chance to bond with me, to spend time in his room with him. Yeah, well, he actively encourages the kitten, feeds it, has it in his room even when I'm home etc and now I feel like it's not even my cat!

I asked him if he wanted to keep it but "No", he says "I don't want the responsibility". Jerk! Quite happy to take all the cat's affection and encourage it to be a companion to him, but won't pay for any food etc. Needless to say, I don't like my flatmate very much any more. I'm going to move out and take kitty with me and that's the only thing I can do.

The only choices you have are either to keep the cat locked in your room, with everything it needs there, move out with your kitty, or just put up with your kitty-hogging roommate.

Poor you! I sympathise!

Rachel

UGH my roommates are the same. They are home more than I am. And they're always crazy about Charlie. They want to play with him and be with him all day. But guess what, where the hell are they when its time to feed him or scoop some poop!!! only a really cat parent would do that!!!