I Hate My Cat

[jackie95]

growing up i had one cat. i grew up with her, and she passed away 4 years ago at 21. she was THE BEST cat. honestly, idk how i'd survive my childhood and teenagedom with her. she was loving, sweet, smart, furry, AFFECTIONATE!, and its like she knew when i was goin thru a tough time. i still miss her, ive had 4 other pets but losing her was the *worst* since she was truly my best friend

so around 2 years ago, my friend's, friend's cat had kittens and she was giving them away for free. free kittens?! couldn't pass that up. along came orlando. he was a month when i got him. he was pretty cool in the beginning, i was scared he'd hide from me or try to attack me but it seem like him being taken away from his mom and siblings didn't effect him at all. i got him fixed a few months later bc he was super annoying (humping & spraying everywhere) so i thought it'd mellow him out.

a year old, he peed EVERYWHERE. even after getting fixed! it was a nightmare. his litterbox remained spotless, and as a kitten he would instinctively use it but idk what happened. i took him to a vet to get him checked out and he was perfectly fine. he finally stopped when i let him be free and walk out the house. now he's pretty much a stray cat whenever he feels like it.

now he's two, and he's picked up horrible habits. he's always hungry. always. he chases me around the house, meowing at me for more food. he stands on tables, counters, w/e just to get my attention. one time i was walking around my house, he was chasing me and meowing as he usually does and i accidentally stepped on his tail and he meowed super loud. this scared me so much i fell and hurt my ankle. i was limping for a week. i came home one day, he knocked over the cat food and was eating it. he's also ripped up garbage bags and made a huge mess just to get food outside. IDK why. i feed him twice a day at the same time everyday but for some reason he acts like he's on survivor and he's gonna starve to death. he's pretty fat btw. he ended up getting diarrhea and i had to take him to the vet again. my first cat never acted like this, i didn't even know cats acted like this.

the worse thing is, he's not even affectionate. he genuinely does not enjoy any sort of petting or rubbing. he's never slept in my bed. never hear him pur. i feel so used. he just wants my food and that's it. if i wanted someone to eat all my food i'd just invite my uncle to live with me.

i've contemplated so many times just to give him up or return him to the girl i got him from, but even she gave away her cats. i don't wanna give him up because i'll feel horrible, in my life ive owned 4 dogs and a cat and i couldnt imagine giving them away. but this cat has added so much unnecessary stress to my life he's only 2. idk what to do. any advice? sorry this is so long, i needed to vent.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Orlando may be better off as an outdoor cat . As long as he has clean water, food and a safe place to sleep . Flea drops as needed .
Sometimes Prozac works well on cats like Orlando. They also have 'Calm Collar' and 'Calm Chews' .
If you do keep him outdoors make sure to interact and visit with him at times .
Good luck ... ! ´ ~

 

[MeganLLB]

Taking him away at one month old is pretty young. Maybe that affected him more than you think.

I agree that maybe you should leave him as an outdoor cat.

 

[talkingpeanut]

Well, first, I would think about whether this cat can tell that you don’t like him...

What do you do to bond with him?

What do you feed him? How much do you feed him? Have you dewormed him?

 

[lavishsqualor]

i accidentally stepped on his tail and he meowed super loud. this scared me so much i fell and hurt my ankle. i was limping for a week.

You realize that Orlando got a much rawer deal, right? Your accidentally stepping on his tail probably hurt him much worse than your injured ankle hurt you.

Overall it seems to me as if your expectations are too high. You're not going to replicate your cat from childhood. Each cat is different with its own personality. Plus, there is also the strong possibility that you are romanticizing your childhood pet and possibly mis-remembering some of her attributes.

TalkingPeanut has raised some very valid questions; for example, what actions have you taken to engage with your new cat? Cats don't always just offer love and affection. Like most creatures, they require it to be earned.

I sincerely hope you and your cat can build a stronger bond. However, if you can't, I think re-homing him is the best choice. Outside cats live much shorter lives than indoor cats.

Good luck.

 

[vyger]

There are some cats that are not as nice as other cats. Every personality is different.
Sometimes I get cats dumped off here. So one day this very pregnant calico shows up. The big reason I noticed her right away was that she was picking fights with every other cat. Well, maybe because she was expecting I reasoned. She was to pregnant to just ignore so I put her in a building that the other cats could not get into and set her up with food and water and comfort items. In less than a week she had 4 kittens. Her kittens refused to get socialized very much. Just constant spitting and hissing even before they had their eyes open. I let the mom out every now and then and she again went and picked fights. This cat hated everyone except me and her kittens made up for that because they hated me even as they got older and I hand fed them canned food. Grab a bite, hiss, grab a bite. Repeat. Anyway they all had horrible personalities. I did manage to find a home for them though. Some people were moving into a farm house that had been vacant for years and was overrun with mice and they were desperately looking for a killer cat or cats to clean up. They took the whole family, mom and kittens and the rest of my group finally got some peace.
Anyway, if it is that bad a fit for you then maybe you need to find him another home. But don't rush into getting a replacement. Make certain that you are ready for another.

 

[Moonlight_wolf]

It can be hard if you have a pet that you feel you don't click with. But that doesn't mean that you both can't work at it to improve your relationship. As some of the others said, it is possible he knows you don't like him and that's why he's not affectionate, but also you have to sometimes teach your cats that you're fun to be around. Throwing a ball, waving a feather toy, whatever suits your cats tastes.

The food thing, oh I know, I feel you. My cat is always hungry, she would be so overweight if I free fed her. I have to make sure that all of the food I have for her is either locked away or in a container that she can't open or chew through. At first this was annoying yea, but instead of fighting against her and getting mad I worked with it and found a way I could change something to improve the situation, rather than trying to find a way to change her.

And some cats can be very finiky about how you pet them, so maybe it's that? Whenever I am petting a cat I always present my hand for them to smell and then if they want pets then usually they'll rub their faces on your hand. Cats mostly like their faces/cheeks petted I've found.

But I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know how stressful things like this can be. I would see if working at your relationship helps any, and if not you could look into rehoming her. I'm not a fan of making cats outdoor cats. There is so much that could hurt them outside and frankly it also often unnecessarily decreases the bird/critter population. But that's just me.

 

[thelaughingcat]

All my cats have been outdoor cats...cooping up a predator always seemed a bit harsh to me, though plenty of my friends' cats seem perfectly happy with being indoor cats. Personal preference

All cats are different, just like people. Some like to stay close to where they were born and brought up, others prefer to travel. It's not so different. Being outside might give your cat somewhere to burn off all that excess energy and boredom if he's one of the latter. They still spend a lot of time indoors (hello, rainy afternoons in front of the fire!) and he'll love being able to emotionally blackmail several different people into giving him treats (accept it, it'll happen). It's worth giving it a go, as long as he's microchipped, up to date with his shots and you introduce him to the outside slowly - get him to spend a little bit of time in your back yard if you have one before he goes out to the wider world.

Having a pet that seems to dislike you sucks, but you can repair the relationship. Give him some time and some space and let him come to you

 

[maggiedemi]

Have you de-wormed him? A lot of de-wormers have to be done twice, two or three weeks apart to get all the worms. Cats often act up when they don't feel good, and worms could make him hungry all the time.

 

[Yanaka]

This thread has a bit of a trolling smell to it! Lol

Your cat seems to be acting like a normal cat (going on tables and shelves, running in your feet when he’s excited), and it sounds like he’s genuinely hungry. Maybe reconsider what you feed him for something more substantial, get cat trees, play with him. You took him away from its mom too early, I’m not even sure how he’s healthy when they should be nursing until 8 weeks +.

Your cat from childhood was a sweetheart because like most kids you got to enjoy the good parts. Your parents raised, fed and provided the cat with distraction, and got to endure it’s annoying catness. You on the other hand, had the cuddles and playtime the cat was willing to give you. Your cat is stressed because you hate him...

 

[fiorya]

Sounds like a stressed cat. A cat "misbehaving" is often bored, lonely, and/or sick. Similar to how a dog will sometimes bark incessantly when it is not given enough affection or stimulation. Like others here, I'd suggest spending more time bonding with him.

It could be that he doesn't express affection the same way as other cats you've known. Just like humans, cats express their affection in different ways. If your cat is following you around wherever you go, that's another sign that he wants more affection from you.

I hope you don't give up on keeping him just yet. Some small steps that could improve the situation:
- Having 20-30 minute play sessions every day, especially with wand toys or other toys that you can both play with together. So that he associates you with having fun.
- Giving him more perches or "caves" to explore, so that he can explore while you're gone
- Puzzle boxes with treats. If he solves the puzzle, he gets the treat. It gives him something to do, and may help with the constant begging. There are some DIY puzzle boxes that are super cheap and easy to make.
- Buying a Feliway plugin. Feliway releases pheromones that make cats feel safer and more comfortable. It doesnt always work for every cat in any given situation. But my sister used one when she moved to a new house, and it really helped. Her cats were noticeably calmer than they usually were in a changing environment.

If you do decide you don't want him, I'd only leave him outside if you live in a safe area. Most neighborhoods aren't safe places for cats.

 

[danteshuman]

I agree with what every one else has said. Your poor cat. Puppies & kittens are like kids. They take work! If you neglect them or fail to train them they are destructive force. I have my well behaved calm kitty Salem and his playmate Dante. When Dante was a kitten/teen I called him 'my little terrorist of doom' 'punk' and well I had to invent a name chant just for him because he was beginning to associate his name with 'hey you stop this instant!' He had me pulling out my hair, driving me crazy no matter how much I played with his hyper ass. He finally mellowed out around 7.5 years old. However I love him to pieces and have loved him to pieces since the day I got him. He is my bud and my shadow cat that follows me around every where. Like all relationships they take time and effort. Have you thought about it from your cat's perspective? (*** No Dante wasn't named after the book I swear, he was named after a popular 19th century magician..... though my god when he was a kitten you would swear he was named after Dante's Inferno )

In my experience cats spray because they are not fixed or because they are insecure. If the spraying pops up suddenly they probably have a UTI. You can have your vet do a hormone test to make sure they got both of his balls (sometimes they miss one.) If he tests high for testosterone then you can schedule to have him neutered/remove the testicle. In your case I'm guessing you need a LOT of a good enzyme cleaner, a black light to see where he marks, 3-5 more litter boxes where ever he marks most (it is cheaper than replacing stuff and you can buy cheap litter boxes for this) confidence building play, making your yard unwelcoming to stray cats and if all that fails maybe some prozac/harness walks. It is a process that takes MONTHS. There is no easy fix but it is fixable I swear.

All that said, that is a lot of effort required on your part. If you are not ready for such a big commitment (all pets are.) Please do your poor cat a favor a rehouse him with someone that can/will help him.

 

[danteshuman]

Oh also you cab try cat attract litter in one or two boxes and see if it helps. First however you need to enzyme clean everything & add litter boxes where he writes his name the most. Then do daily black light checks & mark with tape or post it's where he marks. So you know where he needs a box in a week & you can see how well he is doing with his additional boxes.