I Guess I"m the World's Worst Daughter (basically, a rant)

[libby74]

It has long been known that stores employ various strategies to actually cause a certain kind of "hypnotism." It's very subtle, but it's designed to increase time in the store, which usually increases sales.

No offense intended, but I find it hard to believe that all stores do that. Why don't I believe it? Because my DH is the manager of a grocery store (not the one I take my Mom to). They also only move items when they do a complete reset--every few years or so.

If this is not new behavior and you're pretty sure she can get through the shopping by herself, why not take a book and wait in the car while she's shopping?

I've thought about that, but this time of year it just isn't possible because of the cold. My car's heater doesn't work particularly well and I would probably freeze to death. When the weather's nice, or I know it will be a relatively short shopping trip, I do wait in the car. Of course, then Mom gets mad that I don't go in the store with her--"Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

Seriously, I can't win. If I go with her, I'm rushing her. If I don't go in with her it's because I'm embarrassed by her. If DD takes her it's "why didn't your Mom come?" If I suggest she take the senior bus her answer is "I just won't go; I've got food in the house, so I won't starve."
I think I just figured out part of the problem. Could my Mother be a drama queen?

 

[calico2222]

Originally Posted by libby74

I think I just figured out part of the problem. Could my Mother be a drama queen?

LOL, that could be the problem!

Ok, if this is normal for her, maybe you can try to split the shopping list? You take half and she takes half and get what is needed? Or, wouldn't your mom agree to that?

My mom was similar to that. She would take forever shopping, and it wouldn't matter to her where she stopped or who she was holding up. If she is used to that routine, all I can say is bite your tongue and

.

God bless you for being there to help your mom!

 

[carolpetunia]

Originally Posted by libby74

No offense intended, but I find it hard to believe that all stores do that. Why don't I believe it? Because my DH is the manager of a grocery store (not the one I take my Mom to)...

I'm sure you're right, not ALL stores do that -- and in those that do, it would rarely be the decision of the on-site owners or managers, but rather of the marketing division of the parent company of a big chain.

What Mike (mrblanche) referred to is indeed real -- from the product labels to the shelf arrangements to the positioning of sections in the store to the music you're listening to as you shop, it has all been researched and orchestrated to lull you into a pleasant sort of daze, slow you down, make you spend more time in the store, force you to walk the length and breadth of the store so you have as much opportunity as possible for impulse buying... all sorts of tricks are used. Sometimes we succumb, sometimes we can resist. Sometimes I catch myself drifting down an aisle of things I don't need and have to shake myself out of it!

And sure, things do get changed and moved around -- that's part of the marketing technique. Even in our little bead store, we shift things around frequently, because we want customers to see new things every time they come in. It's good psychology, although it can be annoying if you have trouble finding what you're looking for.

But as I say, not all stores employ these research-driven psychological marketing techniques ... mostly just the big chains.

 

[belongstoevie]

Lots of

for you for helping your mother this way, even if she tests your patience!

I went through that with my grandmother. Her entire life, she has had this... personality quirk. She gets in her mind that she can't do something, just can't, and if it needs to be done, she needs help. Period. It's not dementia (though she did get that later in her life), because she did it from before I was even born!

So, if you are sure it's not some form of dementia, she could just be like my grandma. All the hints and gentle persuasion and patience never changed her... We ended up having to adjust to her. Plan ahead, know it will take a while and you will need to hold her hand. Can you do your own shopping at the same time? Maybe split up? You take half her list (3/4?), and she can get a few items on her own like she used to with your dad?

Can you and your daughter go? Then one can help her and one can do your shopping? Or at least, you can help each other with patience!

We just ended up planning to spend a long time there!

Good luck!

 

[laureen227]

pay attention to the music the next time you're grocery shopping... the tempo is usually quite slow. people have a tendency to unconsciously walk in tempo with it. slower pace means more time spent in the store, which equals more money spent overall [gross profit].