I feel sorry for my cat:(

[ioana]

My boy is not, by far, a lap cat. He likes to be left alone, he is a big boy...he does play with me and he sleeps a bit on my neck at night, but thats about it. He also gets bored of everything really fast ( toys, food, places he sleeps on).Why I feel sorry for him? He wants outside...I think he wants to chase flies and he LOVES to explore, in fact, he loves everything thats new around him ( I really think he was supposed to be a wild cat)..but I live on an apartment complex and Im pretty sure he wouldn't know how to live outside, specialy because he gets scared sooo fast of everything, also, I don't want to ever be apart from him.He also hates anything on him, so the leash is out of the question. But he begs me for it and he also moved his sleeping place by the door. I do take him a bit at the door in my arms, but the more I do it, the more he wants it.
What do I do? I think he is soo sad because of it and it breaks my heart thinking that hes not happy. Any advice? Enyone went thru this? How do I make my cat happy without getting him outside?

 

[ioana]

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• ioana
• Sep 2, 2013

This is my boy

 

[tammyp]

Can you bring a bit of 'outside' inside?  

Eg:  

-a temparium (or in easier language, a fish tank thing that houses butterflies or flies? or small lizards?)

-some cat friendly pot plants

-do you have a balcony?? Can you net it in?

-cat videos (yes, they exist - usually feature fish, or birds etc),

-if you go on a walk/outside then bring back a momento like a stick from a tree or a bird feather or a long stand of grass (new textures and smells)

-you could trial various walking harnesses - some are better tolerated and liked than others (I have a few on my blog under equipment and furniture) and do some very patient acclimatisation.  It does take time.

-do you have a window? put his cat tree there or a window perch - they particularly like it if you can get a little breeze blowing in in nice weather (again, it carries many scents)

The other thing that will help him feel happier is to work on ways to capture his interest and expend energy - he sounds smart and a bit bored (we have smart cats where things don't fascinate them for long).  Play with him as much as you can, for as long as you can, as frequently as you can.  Make up new toys every 2-3days (based on our cats! Lots of ideas on my blog), make it interactive play with a wand toy and at a high pace, or interactive engaging his brain (like wand toys hiding under a blanket, or under a crinkly bag of paper, or even a puzzle box where you are also present and encouraging).  If you can wear him out physically and mentally, he will be less fixated on the outdoors.  

Final suggestion - not sure if it will work in your situation - a playmate?  We were told our cat would be less fixated on getting outside if he had a playmate...it has worked a good deal, but he still must have his daily walk.  Only caveat, make sure he would enjoy a friend, and pick a compatible friend! Here's some tips on whether they would like a friend: http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/the-only-cat/7830

 

[tammyp]

By the way, both my cats are mad fly-chasers!!  It's just warming up over here, and they love catching flies - big boy even catches one outside, holds it in his mouth, brings it inside to somewhere he would like to play with it, and spits it out and resumes playing!  (He even brought one and spat it on my bed...it was not dead by a long shot, and we spent the next half an hour with an excited cat trying to catch that fly again - he insists we lift him up so he can 'fly after' the fly and get it from high up walls/doors and even mid-air!)

Lol, maybe you can bring some flies home...!!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

 
Lol, maybe you can bring some flies home...!!

Now THAT would make for a dedicated cat owner!  But you know; I bet you can!  Flies or crickets meant to be sold for lizard food and things!  I had a friend in college who had a few  and one day the wind blew the box of their food off her bedroom table and it opened.  And yeah her cat helped take care of the situation!  

When I lived at home I had one cat I would take out in her kennel from time to time.  She couldn't really explore anything that way but she did love the sounds and scents.  I have heard of others having success with harness training; but it takes time.  But if he is really opposed to having something on I guess that wouldn't work.  Being in an apartment limits your options as far as things like cat enclosures or cat-proofed balconies; but that might be worth researching at some point for you. 

 

[jcat]

We've had members who've gotten pet strollers and taken their cats for "walks" that way.

You might also be able to build a "cat balcony". That's a box made of lumber and chickenwire/metal fencing that fits into an open window. There are also window units you can buy.

There are various brands of pet stroller; this video will give you an idea of what they're like:

[VIDEO][/VIDEO]

Here's an example of a window unit for cats:

[VIDEO][/VIDEO]

How to Build Cat Window Enclosure

 

[ioana]

Omg guys, thank you so much for all the ideas...there are some that I will start trying. The things that I already do are:
I open the window for him...alot, amd he just likes to stay there and look at the birds.
About bringing in flies and stuff, my husband tried once and for some reason he started meowing, he was vocal 2 days after, I don't know why. But he did catch flies and stuff that got inside this spring, he eats them as soon as he catches them[emoji]128532[/emoji]
I want to try the leash, but he goes CRAZY, really CRAZY, he jumps, runs, falls on his back crazy when I put something on him. When he got neauterd he didn't accept the cone si I had to stay awake a couple of nights jurt for him not to lick himself.
Also, I buy him alot of toys and I play with him the entire time his awake, he favorite toy now is a string. Also, one of the bedrooms I made it into his room, is full of toys amd scrachers and plastic boxes for him to play, he spends mornings in there when I sleep, O guess he sleeps or he playes by itself, but he doesn't uses it during the day.
Otherways, my cat has pica, so I can't give him much of outside sticks or papers or plants without him eating them all.
Also my patio is very small and my husband has 3 bonsais that take up the entire space
Now about a friend, Im thinking about it alot, but to tell you the truth, Im scared. But ill keep thinking about it and also I will start researching and trying some of your guys ideas. Thank you soooo much.

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• ioana
• Sep 4, 2013

 

[tammyp]

Oooh, he's such a tiger!!

With the pica, for some cats, it is just for some things.  I think it is also exaccerbated by boredom.  So you could maybe try him out on a few things if you havent yet, but were thinking 'no' just because of the pica?  In anycase, it wouldn't hurt to get some cat friendly plants (it won't hurt him if he has a munch) - and if you know any weeds on your outside journeys that are cat friendly (like if you see cats eating them, or if you have knowledge of it), they would be ok.  Our Kato has shown us the good ones on our walks, so we sometimes bring them back and he LOVES munching, and also chasing them (we use them like a string!).

I just love that pic!

 

[tammyp]

PS, if you do want to pursue the harness thing, the first easy step is just to leave the harness out so he can sniff it, chew it, and kill it.  When he 'knows' it, just lay it across his shoulders - don't do it up.  And maybe this will be just another form of interaction for you - make it pleasurable with your company and treats - or maybe it will lead to further progress with the whole harness thing.  I completely understand you don't want to do stuff that stresses him, but these two very small things should be fine - they may lead nowhere, but could lead somewhere.

Best wishes!!

 

[mservant]

Hi Ioana.  I have just seen your post.  First thing I'd like to say is that your boy looks absolutely stunning, and I agree with Tammyp, he sounds really smart and has probably figured out where he might see something more going on. 

  

I too live in an apartment and options are limited, and while my boy seems fearless in his own territory I have no doubt he would bolt at the first unfamiliar noise outside (or wander off with the first friendly stranger...).  He does 'tolerate' a harness but despite this we haven't yet made it to the outdoors as he gets freaked by the noises in the communal stair areas. Like you, the apartment has to be kept full of new and interesting places for him to explore and hide, climb up on, and to get a good view of the street outside.  He'll spend hours watching the people going by, birds flying about, and trying to get at the flies on the other side of the windows. 

  And yes, he does chase and eat the flies, spiders and moths that get inside (have to make sure he never gets anything that bites or stings). You're doing everything I do - playing with him a lot more and rotating loads of different toys and 'stuff' keep up interest.

Mouse will spend ages near the front door to the apartment but with Mouse I don't think it him wanting to get out - it looks much more like he is guarding his (and my) home from unwanted invasion. He is particularly intent on being there when there is any noise in the common stair area - unless it is the baby girl who lives on the top floor as she cries when she's carried up and down the stairs, then he gets as far away as he can! 

  

  If he hears something out there he usually wants to look and see what it is, then once he knows he/his home are safe he's happy to stay in and the door be shut again.  Worth you thinking about whether there is an element of this with your boy?

Mouse will sometimes want to follow me out the door and I'll pick him up and carry him in to the common area stair but he usually gets freaked by some noise and we have to come back in.  I guess if your cat will let you carry him and go around the apartment common areas you could do that with him as long as you're not concerned about him leaping off you and getting in to danger somewhere or being able to run off and get outside? The problem, as you say, is if you do something once and your cat likes it the cat will expect you to do it again and again every time they want you to.

 

[ioana]

I would like to try the plant thing...but I think he would just eat them without limit Until now, about a year ago,he eat 4 strings from toys, long 1-2 foot strings...and I had to wait for him to poop and see if he did it...he pooped them all, but since then I am very careful with everything I leave out for him to get to. Also, he is easly scared, thats why, our outside time is little and only on the stairs...if he hears some strange noise, he jumps and runs, so I don't want to lose him if I go anywere. The other problem is, this is mostly a dog comunity, and if I do teach him to use the leash, I have to go into an area without dogs, as he is not friendly or used to any kind of animal.
Im trying to keep him as busy as I can, new toys, new ways to play, but he is an explorer and I guess the outside provides new smells and things to see for him. But I will try all the sugestions you guys made.

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• ioana
• Sep 4, 2013

 

[scotfold]

my boy is getting to the age where he wants to go exploring too.. I feel bad for him as well..
He is ok with the harness and leash, I've tried to walk him outside our corridor, which is fine.. but he freaks the hell out when he sees SOME of our neighbors.. some people hes ok with, not sure why..
I've tried to take him OUTDOORS but he is sooooooooooo scared and just hides under the car ><...

My apartment window has no 'view' for him to watch either there are only cars.. no birds...

 

[ioana]

Mitu is scared of everything too but Ill try the leash little by little and see if he wants it. Until then ill look into all the sugestions you guys gave me.
Thank you

 

[mservant]

 
my boy is getting to the age where he wants to go exploring too.. I feel bad for him as well..
He is ok with the harness and leash, I've tried to walk him outside our corridor, which is fine.. but he freaks the hell out when he sees SOME of our neighbors.. some people hes ok with, not sure why..
I've tried to take him OUTDOORS but he is sooooooooooo scared and just hides under the car ><...

My apartment window has no 'view' for him to watch either there are only cars.. no birds...

Don't feel too bad, they watch everything - cars, insects, bugs and spiders, people.... anything that moves or looks out of the norm'  He will see your apartment as HIS and as long as you keep it interesting and give him nice high places as well as the run of the floor he should be kept suitably busy until he gets old and lazy!

 

[sara457]

all cats will get used to a leash eventually. The trick is to start off with just a few minutes a day. They lay limp and look grumpy at first. But eventually they'll get up and walk around a bit. Only thing is, once you go down that route you've basically turned your cat into an indoor/outdoor hybrid cat. Which means that you get the hard job of having to take them out for walks in addition to having to find toys and entertainment inside. This becomes a pretty big responsibility. It certainly enhances their lives, but puts more pressure on you!

 

[ioana]

Thats what im afraid of, there are gonna be days where I can't take him outside but he will ask for it more and more. For now I will try to keep him inside and find alot of ways to entratein him and I'll see in the future, maybe insted of outside I can get him a little brother im scared of doing that too, but we'll see. Thank you everyone for the great ideas.

 

[tammyp]

Sounds like a plan!  

As reassurance, you don't need to feel scared about the little bro/sis plan - yes, it will take a lot of thinking and research to find the right candidate, and a bit of reading to prep you for intros, but in terms of actually having and living with TWO cats....SO much easier than one rascal!  It took a year for us to decide we needed a friend, and a year on the search (for various reasons, including cancer for hubby, and losing a kitten just before she arrived).  And I chose to believe it would be easier (really wondering if it would be), but that energy and interest that we spent so much time satisfying for our big boy, is amply satisfied by his kitten!  We were spending 3-5hrs walking/playing with Kato each day (he exhausted us!).  Now with Ava in the house, we spend about 1.5hrs between them! Amazeballs.

 

[ioana]

Thats not exactly what scares me. Yes, I am tired sometimes, specialy if he wakes me at 6am to play, but its worth it be ause I want him happy I am scared that I will lose my cat as a friend. Right now he is the boss of the house and we are best friends, I am scared that he will get mad at me and stop loving me. I read alot of stories about this and they are all horror stories for me. I don't want to lose his love, it may sound stupid, but he is very important for me, i don't want him to hate me.

 

[tammyp]

He won't.  Truely.  I'm not sure about the horror stories you read, but I can almost guarantee it is something else going on/not being handled right, or the initial steps of working out if a friend is wanted, and then careful matching, hasnt been done or done right (and sometimes people can't choose because of a rescue situation).  Also, something to bear in mind, a young cat will adapt a lot quicker.  

It was quite plain that Kato needed a friend - he had SO much energy, needed companionship, and he's a Korat (they are usually always given in pairs because of their relationship needs).  I asked a lot of people a lot of stuff, and we went with the time-frame of sub 3 years is the best window.  We also went with a girl over a boy, as Korats (and Kato in particular) are highly territorial, so NOT another male to challenge the territory often works out better.  Finally, we ruled out any other breed of cat as the right playmate has to have the same energy levels and the same outlook - there would have been other candidates with high energy, but there are also the comments I got over and over again from around the world that 'Korats know their own' and bond readily.  So we went with the best chances of success.  And they LOVE each other, so it has been worth it.

As you are thinking about this, here's a bit more info that might help:

http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/dear-pammy-new-kitten-makes-my-cat-act-strangely/26004

http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/does-having-more-cats-mean-getting-less-love/5158

and slightly off topic, but still on the theme of 'losing their love': http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/dear-pammy-now-my-cat-is-mad-at-me/21776

and just because it's slightly like your situation: http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/dear-pammy-would-a-friend-help-my-cat-forget-the-outdoors/1676

 

[ioana]

Thank you, I will check that out and start doing some research. I really need a kitten that uses palets like Mitu, otherwise he would be eating the litter box[emoji]128532[/emoji] its gonna be a bit harder. But ill see if I can adopt from the same foster parent thank you again.