I feel like I made a huge mistake.

[sarahp]

I agree with everyone else on here. Good on you for coming onto a cat site and talking about your problem. Everyone is incredibly kind and supportive here, and we understand your dilemma.

It sounds as though you're suffering from depression, and there's a lot of people here who have had similar problems and can help talk to you if that would help.

I agree that you should seek a doctor's advice and talk to them. You definitely need to look after yourself at the moment, and it sounds as though a special needs kitty isn't right for you at the moment.

I applaud you for trying to take on a special needs kitty, not many people would be willing to even consider taking a FIV kitty, and it shows you have a big heart.

Nobody here would condemn you for returning the kitty since it's in the best interest for both of you.

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by bemyonlyone

I can't stop crying. This is incredibly, incredibly painful.

You sound like you are in a crisis.

Please call the person you got the kitten from and talk to her about returning it to her.

Then please call your doctor and get a referral to a counselor to see what it is in your life that is causing you to react this way.

Once you have received some counseling and have been able to deal with whatever issue is causing you to cry and feel the way you are, then you can get another kitten.

Now just doesn't seem the right time for you to have adopted a kitten. Something about the situation seems to have brought up some buried, unresolved issues from your past most likely. I know you had good intentions when you adopted and that's why you went ahead even though you felt like you shouldn't. But do yourself and the kitten a favour and let the lady have it back and get yourself into some therapy.

*hugs*

 

[bemyonlyone]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

You sound like you are in a crisis.

Please call the person you got the kitten from and talk to her about returning it to her.

Then please call your doctor and get a referral to a counselor to see what it is in your life that is causing you to react this way.

Once you have received some counseling and have been able to deal with whatever issue is causing you to cry and feel the way you are, then you can get another kitten.

Now just doesn't seem the right time for you to have adopted a kitten. Something about the situation seems to have brought up some buried, unresolved issues from your past most likely. I know you had good intentions when you adopted and that's why you went ahead even though you felt like you shouldn't. But do yourself and the kitten a favour and let the lady have it back and get yourself into some therapy.

*hugs*

The truth is that the lady can't keep him at her home (her husband is allergic). He has to go back to the animal hospital where he will live in a cage until someone adopts him again.

I have never felt so down. I know I need counseling, and most likely medication as well. I talked to her last night and she was sympathetic, but is probably worried about him and what's going to happen. It's hard for FIV cats to find homes, and I know this. But I don't feel that he will be happy with me. I prayed for a miracle, that these feelings would go away overnight, but they haven't.

 

[phenomsmom]

I agree with everyone else. If you don't think you can properly care for this kitty then please take him back. Someone else will adopt him and give him the loving home he deserves. Your health is just as important and this kitty's health is. Maybe you will be able to adopt a kitty in the future when you have dealt with your own problems and then you can be a great kitty mom! Don't be too hard on yourself. We have all made decisions that weren't the best for us. You are smart enough to realize your mistake and you still have the ability to make things better! We are all here if you need to talk to us. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk one on one.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by bemyonlyone

The truth is that the lady can't keep him at her home (her husband is allergic). He has to go back to the animal hospital where he will live in a cage until someone adopts him again.

I have never felt so down. I know I need counseling, and most likely medication as well. I talked to her last night and she was sympathetic, but is probably worried about him and what's going to happen. It's hard for FIV cats to find homes, and I know this. But I don't feel that he will be happy with me. I prayed for a miracle, that these feelings would go away overnight, but they haven't.

Feelings like this can't go away overnight, it's just not the way they work.

There are a lot of ways to handle this, but you have to pick the best one, not the one that will make you feel least guilt. If you can't care for this kitty the way you know he must be cared for, then don't try to make yourself. That's not how that works, either.

Depending on your own situation, perhaps you can visit him in the animal hospital, or attempt to find a new home for him among friends, family, collegues that you trust. Remember not to guilt them into it either. Yes, his situation is not to be envied, but being cared for in an animal hospital is far better than being tried like a tiresome ward elsewhere.

Please seek medical advice and counselling.

The way you feel right now is not a commentary on your worth as a person, or as a (probably future) pet-companion.

If, after you've gotten yourself help and you've talked it through with your counsellor, if you feel like making another go of it - either with this cat or another animal - you'll be in a better position to handle the feelings that the adoption brings up.

Kind regards,
Satai

 

[lunasmom]

Have you thought about looking for a home for him? I.e. running an ad in the paper, or posting one on craigslist? Perhaps helping the cat find a home will bring some feeling of accomplishment, positiveness, etc to you.
Its seems silly, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I.e you took the kitten and [if you do decide to look for a home for it] you pass it on to someone who needs that cat in their life.

Good Luck!

 

[jcat]

The big question for me is, did you, of your own volition, actually go out looking for a cat, or did the woman who surrendered your cat pressure you to take him? She may have meant well, and thought, "The cat needs a home, and ..... feels so alone." Cats are wonderful company, and can be extremely lovable, but it wouldn't be a good situation if you resented your cat because he was more or less forced upon you. Is he a kitten? Kittens can be nervewracking, and really try your patience, but they do eventually settle down, and become very attuned to their guardians' moods and needs.

 

[bemyonlyone]

Originally Posted by jcat

The big question for me is, did you, of your own volition, actually go out looking for a cat, or did the woman who surrendered your cat pressure you to take him? She may have meant well, and thought, "The cat needs a home, and ..... feels so alone." Cats are wonderful company, and can be extremely lovable, but it wouldn't be a good situation if you resented your cat because he was more or less forced upon you. Is he a kitten? Kittens can be nervewracking, and really try your patience, but they do eventually settle down, and become very attuned to their guardians' moods and needs.

No, I did this of my own volition. Now I am filled with a deep sense of sorrow and regret.

Even though my heart is breaking, the woman who loves him very much has found a temporary home for him until she can find him another one. And that makes me feel better than if I knew I had to bring him back to the animal hospital. She's coming for him tomorrow night.

I never for a moment resented him. I realize that I'm not at a point in my life where I can give him everything he needs and deserves...the full attention and love of a person who is completely ready to have him in their life.

I know what I did was very foolish, but in time, perhaps the universe will forgive me for this mistake. Though I will likely suffer for a long time because of this. This year has not been kind to me.

I have made an appointment with mental health services at my school and hopefully they will put me on medication, and I will get the help that I so desperately require. words cannot express the sorrow I feel over this, but I know it's what I must do.

 

[lookingglass]

Originally Posted by bemyonlyone

No, I did this of my own volition. Now I am filled with a deep sense of sorrow and regret.

Even though my heart is breaking, the woman who loves him very much has found a temporary home for him until she can find him another one. And that makes me feel better than if I knew I had to bring him back to the animal hospital. She's coming for him tomorrow night.

I never for a moment resented him. I realize that I'm not at a point in my life where I can give him everything he needs and deserves...the full attention and love of a person who is completely ready to have him in their life.

I know what I did was very foolish, but in time, perhaps the universe will forgive me for this mistake. Though I will likely suffer for a long time because of this. This year has not been kind to me.

I have made an appointment with mental health services at my school and hopefully they will put me on medication, and I will get the help that I so desperately require. words cannot express the sorrow I feel over this, but I know it's what I must do.

The mistake you would have made was having these feelings and keeping the cat. You don't owe ANYONE an apology. Look at it like this; the cat gave you a gift of putting you on a path where you can get better. It took that small creature simple presence in your life to realize that you needed some help. You did the best thing possible with all the tools you were given.

 

[willie'slove]

I just found this thread, but basically all I want to say is

"I know what you mean"

I've been there(just not to your extent). After Willie's whole operation, and everything went wrong, I had no time for my hampster, Coconut. I felt like "What if he's having a horrible life, and wishes he was rather dead." I knew I wasnt giving him enough love, but my family reminded me that if I didn't give him back to the petstore, it was ok. Hampsters are un-lovey creatures! He always had food and water, but I rarely cleaned his cage, rarely even had the chance to pet him. I just felt like there was no love.

Coconut died last week. In a strong way, it was actually a relief. It's hard to admit, but now I can devote the little time that I do have to Willie, and know that I'm giving enough ove to him.

I just wanted to show you, that if you give this cat away, hich I know will give you so many doubts and whatif's, you wil have soooo much relief.

Good luck with the therapy. I hope you can get really really well with that helping you!

Good luck with everything, and make sure to always report back to TCS!