I Feel Devastated For Losing My Cat

[vanemeow]

I lost my female manx cat. Unfortunately, she got ran over. She was a 1 year and a half. Her name was Friday.

I keep blaming myself for not keeping her inside but i could not force her. Friday came to my home from the streets when she was a couple months young. She was definitely starving and was meowing a lot. I decided to welcome her into my home. I was never a cat person until she showed up. I fed her and took her to the vet to get any shots and anything to make sure she was healthy. I then got her spayed. Friday would stay inside for a few hours and would meow to be let outside. She got bored being locked inside and I could not blame her since my home is not as big. I played with her and all but she always wanted to go outside.

Yesterday, she went missing the whole day. I went around asking the neighbors if they have seen her. A neighbor's son saw her but in bad terms. I really don't want to go into details but she is gone . I have not stopped crying because i keep blaming myself if only i kept her inside. But then I would have made her depressed since she was born in the streets. I don't think I could ever own a pet again. I miss her so much.

 

[catsknowme]

Condolences on your tragic and terrible loss of Friday. She isn't suffering anymore and her spirit is in a better place. She sounded like she was an amazing cat, the way she won your heart over, especially since you weren't originally a cat afficiando.
I understand how difficult it is to contain some cats. And it is hard to predict when their time here on earth will be up - I hand raised a tiny kitten and kept him inside even though he so wanted to be in the yard. I did leash train him so he could go to the riding stables but that was all. Sadly, he suddenly got throat cancer and was pts at only 3 years old....so young....he died much younger than any of our outside cats (at that time). Even when they have to leave at 18 years or more, it is very hard. When they have many years, we miss them because we have so many memories of what was; when they die young, our hearts break for them leaving too soon, before "what might have been".
.......we understand...

 

[Leomc123]

I am so sorry that Friday has passed away,dont blame yourself, it isnt your fault. Just know that she is in peace in heaven and that you loved her very much,and i am sure if you could help her you would do all that you can to do so. It not like as if you took the car and purposely ran over her, you let her out because she wanted to go outside so she could go play in the yard in the hopes that she would come back safely like every other day that she did come home safe. Life is mysterious you could do everything right, to protect and save a life and still something may happen that takes them away. I wish i understood why life is like that.

 

[di and bob]

There are always these could haves, should haves, that show up during grieving, no matter what the mannber of death. You cannot hold guilt for something that happened with no intention on your part, you held nothing but love and concern for her.
I found my little boy in the street too, after tweive years I thought he was savvy enough to not get hit. I had tried for six months to keep him in the house, more than once,and he was absolutely miserable. I will always remember him flying across the green grass, so happy to be running and free, so happy to be alive......those are teh memories I choose to remember him by. Some cats cannot be housecats, and he was one of them.
These little ones give us a sense of wholeness, they accept our love and give back so much in return. It hurts so very much when they leave us, but what they have brought to our lives in the meantime makes the pain bearable if we think of that. Our pain is equal to our love. To have experienced that kind of love makes life worth living.
You are going through something now that only you will go through. No one else loved Friday as you did, she has you to keep her memory alive through your own precious memories, through the love that is a part of your very soul, a love that can never be taken from you because "Death cannot take that which never dies".
You know her better than anyone, so you know she would never want you to be so sad for long from something that happened to her. That is what love is, only wanting happiness and joy for the one you love, just as you would want for her if you were the first to go.
You will always have her love, she left you a wonderful legacy. She would like nothing more then for you to help it grow by loving another, never replacing, but adding to, that love and letting it grow even bigger. Like a mother with many children, each one unique and irreplaceable. It also helps to distract your heart from the pain, not letting you dwell on something that cannot be changed, helping you to get through the seemingly endless cycle of dark thoughts that are making Friday's death more important that her beautiful life. and that shoudl never be, her life was infinitely more precious and important.
My heart aches for your pain. I know how hard this is to work through, and it never gets easier to face. It is a little easier to have support and to recieve comfort from those who have been there, who can emphasize with your own feelings because we have stood there in your shoes. There are no words or actions that can ever take away the pain, but we can share your burden and make it a little easier to bear. Take care of yourself.......RIP precious Friday. You leave behind someone who will forever keep your memory alive, who will have a secure place in a loving heart for you for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[will2002]

Sorry for your loss, however some cats will NOT be 100% indoor cats no matter how much you want them to be. There is not much a person can do but let them have their way. I have been a slave to one like that for 10 years now and he WILL have his way when he wants outside!

As to thinking you could never have another pet again...there are thousands and thousands of cats and dogs in animal shelters that would love it, if you ever change your mind and decide to give one of them a chance to prove you wrong.

 

[mazie]

I am so sorry for your loss, I too know how frustrating it is to have a cat that you intend to have as an indoor cat pester the heck out of you until you open that door and let them outside sometimes. I firmly believe that if your cat was ever a feral in a previous life before you got him/her, chances are high that they will always have the out of doors in their blood. I got my Katy from a shelter, and as part of her background I was told that she was feral, pregnant, a nice family took her in, she had her kittens while living with them, then they placed the mother, (don't know about her kittens) into a shelter to find a good permanent home. I remember when I brought her home 3 years ago, within the first week I put a harness on her and took her outside. For me, that was a BIG MISTAKE! From that point on, she would want to go outside, but not on her harness but just out the door. Hindsight, I should have waited a few weeks, maybe months to introduce her to the harness. Now, forget that harness, no way!! Once they have lived on the streets, I swear that freedom stays in their blood. I know Katy is truly happy outside, you should see her run and frolic all around. If I were to get another cat in the future, I would make sure that it was never a feral, that way you will have, I imagine, an easier time with the cat "not yearning" to go outside. I know we have those here that say we are the humans, we are in control, but as you know, we are not, we are the ones who are responsible for their well being, but some cats have a "mind of their own", so please do not feel guilty, just make sure your next fur baby has NOT had that taste of The Wide Open Spaces.

 

[CatLover49]

I lost my female manx cat. Unfortunately, she got ran over. She was a 1 year and a half. Her name was Friday.

I keep blaming myself for not keeping her inside but i could not force her. Friday came to my home from the streets when she was a couple months young. She was definitely starving and was meowing a lot. I decided to welcome her into my home. I was never a cat person until she showed up. I fed her and took her to the vet to get any shots and anything to make sure she was healthy. I then got her spayed. Friday would stay inside for a few hours and would meow to be let outside. She got bored being locked inside and I could not blame her since my home is not as big. I played with her and all but she always wanted to go outside.

Yesterday, she went missing the whole day. I went around asking the neighbors if they have seen her. A neighbor's son saw her but in bad terms. I really don't want to go into details but she is gone . I have not stopped crying because i keep blaming myself if only i kept her inside. But then I would have made her depressed since she was born in the streets. I don't think I could ever own a pet again. I miss her so much.

Im so sorry for your loss.And sad your precious kitty is no longer here.Bless her heart.Shes in cat heaven now.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Friday, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Too soon, too soon, but...where there is Love, an eternity is not long enough. Here's what I know, to the depths of my soul...love does not die, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. And Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides. Although you will miss Friday's physical presence with all of your heart, that Love is with you still, and always will be.

I hope that one day, when your heart has healed just a bit, you might consider rescueing another cat, perhaps from a shelter, in honor of that Love. Friday would approve. And yes, you will be risking loss again, but when we protect ourselves from pain, we also "protect" ourselves from joy. Those two things walk hand-in-hand, and the willingness to risk one opens the door for the other.

 

[Ghoulofnagoya]

So sorry for your loss.
Don’t start blaming yourself. Some kitties feel freedom and love it. Others find being indoors happier. You took care of that kitty when she needed you most. You gave her love and that is so amazing.

I think there are so many kitties at high rate kill shelters and you should consider taking one home. They are more used to humans so they may want to stay indoors. Please don’t give up on pets so many lonely animals are in need of love and sounds like you have lots to give.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am so sorry for your loss. This is so tragic and so sad.

Please do not blame yourself. It is not your fault, but whoever has hit her and just probably left her there. Some cats really are so difficult to contain so again, this is not your fault.

You are in grief right now, which is understandable. But soon in a few months or years I hope you would open up your heart once again.