My big beautiful boy, Rumi, passed away early this morning. He was only 2.5 years old. He'd had Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia and had been stable for over a year on DepoMedrol and Cyclosporine, and then things suddenly went downhill in August and he was hospitalized, given a transfusion, and returned home in fair health. We added a chemo drug, Leukeran, to his regimen and had some problems working out an ideal schedule, but finally figured out that every third day did the trick. He was getting better, HCT was normal, he looked like he was going to recover. Then his color started becoming erratic and his appetite wasn't up to its usual robust standard. He had a CBC and the numbers were excellent, we figured he was on so many immunosuppressants that side-effects were catching up with him. Another CBC and the numbers were excellent again. His vet was mystified and said he might need to see a cardiologist. That was Wednesday. This morning he was in rough shape and I was grabbing his medicines, getting him ready to go to the emergency hospital when he suddenly died.
He was unwell last night and we could've gone then, but his symptoms mimicked side-effects he's gotten from Leukeran before and I thought, let's see if he's improved by morning and I'll know what to do then.
Someone is coming to pick him up later today for cremation and right now he looks so peaceful. I keep imagining that I hear him breathe, see his chest move, but I know he's gone. I'm not ready for him to be gone. I want him to come back to me. It all feels so surreal. I lost his sister in February to CRF (she was born with underdeveloped kidneys) and I was just starting to feel like I had regained my footing, and now this.
I keep stroking his fur, smelling it, kissing him. I don't know how to let him go. I fought so hard every day for almost his entire life to keep him alive and I'm not ready to let him go.
He was unwell last night and we could've gone then, but his symptoms mimicked side-effects he's gotten from Leukeran before and I thought, let's see if he's improved by morning and I'll know what to do then.
Someone is coming to pick him up later today for cremation and right now he looks so peaceful. I keep imagining that I hear him breathe, see his chest move, but I know he's gone. I'm not ready for him to be gone. I want him to come back to me. It all feels so surreal. I lost his sister in February to CRF (she was born with underdeveloped kidneys) and I was just starting to feel like I had regained my footing, and now this.
I keep stroking his fur, smelling it, kissing him. I don't know how to let him go. I fought so hard every day for almost his entire life to keep him alive and I'm not ready to let him go.