- Joined
- Feb 16, 2024
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Apologies in advance, I'm crushed over how our kitty died and I don't know what I did wrong so this is a bit rambling.
I was taking care of my rescue kitty for only 3 months and he was diagnosed with acute on CKD. Did everything to help him, subQ, kidney food, IV treatment, a feeding tube toward the end. We thought he had a month or so left as he really improved with the feeding tube, but...his creatinine was 1200 (although it had finally plateaud). He was a bundle of energy and managed well. The vet mentioned he had high blood pressure which was last up to 180/120. They didn't mention any treatment, just it was to be expected. Vets said he would get malaise, start to vomit, and we wouldn't be able to keep tube feedings down. That's how we would know it was his time to go. He was on eprex injections but recently (around 1.5 weeks ago had Darbepoetin).
On Monday he was truly constipated and we took him to vet for enema since he would vomit trying to pass stool and was constantly attempting to go. We recently switched then from Peg powder to lactulose. After the enema he was better but later we noticed rapid breathing but it was not laboured. We were concerned as he goes outside usually, he might shake a bit from cold, we take him in a warm him up with heat blankets and he would be fine. But he was shaking inside as well. On Wednesday we were truly concerned and the vet said to come in for chest Xrays to make sure he wasn't over-hydrated. These were fine, vet noticed the trembling but no recommendations were made. We did make arrangements for a few days to put him to sleep if his condition dind't get better. He was vomiting a little bit even on the car ride home which was super unusual. He was also drooling a tiny bit.
He hadn't had a lot of food (around 10ml) that day so I gave him 20ml of food. He wasn't gagging, just shaking. He kept the food down for 2.5 hours but he was drooling so much, shaking, hanging his head in a pair of shoes. Truly miserable. My partner touched him and he basically projectile vomited a bit up. Let him be for another bit of time, until he looked up at me and meowed. He recovered a bit and we tried to pet him and console him, he purred for a bit but couldn't get comfortable. He was on our laps but then had to be on the floor. He was constantly adjusting, standing up, lying back down, flapping his tail. He didn't make any sound (he wasn't particularly vocal). His breathing rate was around 100/minute. The day before it was 66/minute.
The drooling stopped for a bit, we carried him into the bedroom and he immediately went under the bed (unusual). We tried getting him comfortable in bed, on our laps, he elected to lie on the floor. We gave him the recommended dose of Bup in case pain was causing this. But nothing really changed except he had more trouble walking.
I watched him trying to figure out why he couldn't settle. He was doing a repetitive movement, he would look up -> see me, blink with recognition, put his head in my hand to sleep. Then the base of his tail would twitch and he would look up in confusion, recognize me, and repeat. He got into a cubby in his cat tree and was turning around. I stayed up until around 2am, I couldn't sleep hearing his movement was making me panic. I went to another room to get 4 hours of sleep as I was planning to work in the morning and I wanted to be somewhat together in case kitty needed me to be strong. My husband was in the room with kitty so if anything major happened, kitty wasn't alone. I thought kitty's bum hurt from the enema, maybe more constipation and he would be OK.
I woke up at 6AM suddenly but don't remember if I heard anything at all. I come in immediately see kitty in the cubby with his head down in the small blanket I left. He stirs, moves his head up I think he is OK, he was able to settle and sleep in the end. But then, he doesn't recognize me, he scurries back into the cubby and growls, hisses, screams at me. He screams at our shadows. He screams hearing our noises in the other room as we desparately call the on-call vet. We feel this is the end but it's not how they said it would be at all. We are to get him out of the cubby and get him into a box. We wrap him in a blanket and see he's wet himself and it's all the way up his tummy and I am heartbroken. How could I sleep through this?
He's in the box growling and the next part I don't understand in any way. His head slowly moves up and down (he is lying on his side). The base of his tail is still spasming. The movements repeat, it's like he is in a trance. We give him more pain killers more gaba as the vets recommend. But this movement doesn't stop. He somewhat recognizes me, I tidy him, rewrap him in towels a fresh blanket, put a heat pad. I suggest to the vets he had a seizure, I don't know know what is happening, they know about this kidney disease, they don't seem surprised?
24hours before he was snuggling, walking outdoors, purring. How could this happen so quickly? Is it because I gave him too much food? Is it because we didn't press the vet about fixing his blood pressure? He had chest xrays that day, why couldn't they have seen something this bad was happening? Was it the Darbepoetin? Did he have too much cerenia? Why was he drooling? Why was he moving like this? How could I have left him alone?
The guilt is so difficult. I want a vet to tell me what happened but they're not giving me any clues. I wanted to save him but did I do something wrong and caused him more suffering? Today was sunny and he didn't get to experience this. I feel so guilty. Did anyone hear about this kind of thing? I searched Tanya's CKD website and found nothing like this. It felt like such a violent end, even though the emergency vets made a house call and did such a good job. I am crushed. Any perspective is helpful, I just want to understand, I can't have it be a mystery. I loved him so much.
I was taking care of my rescue kitty for only 3 months and he was diagnosed with acute on CKD. Did everything to help him, subQ, kidney food, IV treatment, a feeding tube toward the end. We thought he had a month or so left as he really improved with the feeding tube, but...his creatinine was 1200 (although it had finally plateaud). He was a bundle of energy and managed well. The vet mentioned he had high blood pressure which was last up to 180/120. They didn't mention any treatment, just it was to be expected. Vets said he would get malaise, start to vomit, and we wouldn't be able to keep tube feedings down. That's how we would know it was his time to go. He was on eprex injections but recently (around 1.5 weeks ago had Darbepoetin).
On Monday he was truly constipated and we took him to vet for enema since he would vomit trying to pass stool and was constantly attempting to go. We recently switched then from Peg powder to lactulose. After the enema he was better but later we noticed rapid breathing but it was not laboured. We were concerned as he goes outside usually, he might shake a bit from cold, we take him in a warm him up with heat blankets and he would be fine. But he was shaking inside as well. On Wednesday we were truly concerned and the vet said to come in for chest Xrays to make sure he wasn't over-hydrated. These were fine, vet noticed the trembling but no recommendations were made. We did make arrangements for a few days to put him to sleep if his condition dind't get better. He was vomiting a little bit even on the car ride home which was super unusual. He was also drooling a tiny bit.
He hadn't had a lot of food (around 10ml) that day so I gave him 20ml of food. He wasn't gagging, just shaking. He kept the food down for 2.5 hours but he was drooling so much, shaking, hanging his head in a pair of shoes. Truly miserable. My partner touched him and he basically projectile vomited a bit up. Let him be for another bit of time, until he looked up at me and meowed. He recovered a bit and we tried to pet him and console him, he purred for a bit but couldn't get comfortable. He was on our laps but then had to be on the floor. He was constantly adjusting, standing up, lying back down, flapping his tail. He didn't make any sound (he wasn't particularly vocal). His breathing rate was around 100/minute. The day before it was 66/minute.
The drooling stopped for a bit, we carried him into the bedroom and he immediately went under the bed (unusual). We tried getting him comfortable in bed, on our laps, he elected to lie on the floor. We gave him the recommended dose of Bup in case pain was causing this. But nothing really changed except he had more trouble walking.
I watched him trying to figure out why he couldn't settle. He was doing a repetitive movement, he would look up -> see me, blink with recognition, put his head in my hand to sleep. Then the base of his tail would twitch and he would look up in confusion, recognize me, and repeat. He got into a cubby in his cat tree and was turning around. I stayed up until around 2am, I couldn't sleep hearing his movement was making me panic. I went to another room to get 4 hours of sleep as I was planning to work in the morning and I wanted to be somewhat together in case kitty needed me to be strong. My husband was in the room with kitty so if anything major happened, kitty wasn't alone. I thought kitty's bum hurt from the enema, maybe more constipation and he would be OK.
I woke up at 6AM suddenly but don't remember if I heard anything at all. I come in immediately see kitty in the cubby with his head down in the small blanket I left. He stirs, moves his head up I think he is OK, he was able to settle and sleep in the end. But then, he doesn't recognize me, he scurries back into the cubby and growls, hisses, screams at me. He screams at our shadows. He screams hearing our noises in the other room as we desparately call the on-call vet. We feel this is the end but it's not how they said it would be at all. We are to get him out of the cubby and get him into a box. We wrap him in a blanket and see he's wet himself and it's all the way up his tummy and I am heartbroken. How could I sleep through this?
He's in the box growling and the next part I don't understand in any way. His head slowly moves up and down (he is lying on his side). The base of his tail is still spasming. The movements repeat, it's like he is in a trance. We give him more pain killers more gaba as the vets recommend. But this movement doesn't stop. He somewhat recognizes me, I tidy him, rewrap him in towels a fresh blanket, put a heat pad. I suggest to the vets he had a seizure, I don't know know what is happening, they know about this kidney disease, they don't seem surprised?
24hours before he was snuggling, walking outdoors, purring. How could this happen so quickly? Is it because I gave him too much food? Is it because we didn't press the vet about fixing his blood pressure? He had chest xrays that day, why couldn't they have seen something this bad was happening? Was it the Darbepoetin? Did he have too much cerenia? Why was he drooling? Why was he moving like this? How could I have left him alone?
The guilt is so difficult. I want a vet to tell me what happened but they're not giving me any clues. I wanted to save him but did I do something wrong and caused him more suffering? Today was sunny and he didn't get to experience this. I feel so guilty. Did anyone hear about this kind of thing? I searched Tanya's CKD website and found nothing like this. It felt like such a violent end, even though the emergency vets made a house call and did such a good job. I am crushed. Any perspective is helpful, I just want to understand, I can't have it be a mystery. I loved him so much.