I Don't Like My New Cat

[Kieka]

I am still iffy about him and I'm so stressed as each day goes by [emoji]9785[/emoji]️ I just feel like he's not the one for me but I don't want to bring him back and have him stuck in the shelter for the rest of his life

If you picked him out before he was even neutered (which means he probably wasn't there long) and he is as outgoing as you say he likely will find a new home quickly. He is youngish and a good fit for someone who doesn't really want a kitten. If he was senior? Had medical problems? Was shy? Sure. But from what you've said he sounds like one that would find a new home relatively quick. 

If you choose to return him there are options to help you feel comfortable that he finds a new home. Talk to the group and see if you can visit him in the shelter to keep him socialized. Make your own personal commitment to not get another cat until he finds a home if it helps you ease that guilt. You can ask if you can give him a second chance in your home if he is still there in a few months when he has maybe calmed down/grown up some if he hasn't found a new home. You can ask the group if you can sponsor him so that someone else can take him home for free in hopes of enticing another family into taking him home.

But honestly, I think from what you've said he would find a home quickly. 

 

[Kieka]

I was in a similar but opposite situation.

I got a feral kitten dumped on me. Didn't want her, didn't have room in our home, didn't want to disturb our homes balance with another cat. I spent 2 months getting her socialized enough to be a house kitty (although she still needed more work and patience but it was a start for someone else) and started looking for a new home for her. She is a beauty and it didn't take long to find someone willing to take her in. I was an hour from driving her to her new home and doing a home check. But I started not feeling right about it. I started thinking about how it would feel when she was gone. I got anxious about the home visit.

My Mom told me, "Answer me the first thing that comes into your head.... 

"Black" ....."Blue"

"Sunny"...... "Sky" 

"Grass" ....... "Green"

"Kitten" .... "Keep" 

It was that simple. My first thought when I took away all the thinking and just said the first thing that came to my mind I wanted to keep her. So I did. And I kept an eye on how things went and oddly enough she filled a gap I didn't know we had in our two resident kitties. She's fit in wonderfully and is now my prissy little princess. 

So..... if someone said "Are you keeping him?" what is the first knee jerk reaction without anything else added in. No thought. No emotion. Just pure gut reaction. Have someone prompt you through some instant answer, word association things to relax you first and spring it in there at some random moment if it helps. 

 

[Kieka]

Out of curiosity..... what did you decide? 

 

[lunaismybaby]

Out of curiosity..... what did you decide? 

Sorry for such a delayed response but I ultimately decided to keep him and while he hasn't entirely come around he has gotten a little better. I think he is a high anxiety cat in general and I'm thinking about getting a cat diffuser for him, he is always twitching is tail, his back skin ripples and he licks himself aggressively to the point where he has hair loss. He is also very skiddish and taking a closer look at his papers he came to the shelter by owner surrender for reason listed as "unable to cope" so I thought that was interesting! On a more positive note him and my kitten Luna play together all the time now

 

[Kieka]

Sorry for such a delayed response but I ultimately decided to keep him and while he hasn't entirely come around he has gotten a little better. I think he is a high anxiety cat in general and I'm thinking about getting a cat diffuser for him, he is always twitching is tail, his back skin ripples and he licks himself aggressively to the point where he has hair loss. He is also very skiddish and taking a closer look at his papers he came to the shelter by owner surrender for reason listed as "unable to cope" so I thought that was interesting! On a more positive note him and my kitten Luna play together all the time now

Yay! It sounds like he is high anxiety. There are sadly a lot of cats who get surrendered as anxious or hyperactive. I am sure if you search the forums you'll find some ideas to help with anxiety or stress. Best of luck.

 

[Alicia88]

I'm glad you're keeping him and he's playing with Luna.  Given time, love, and patience, I think he'll become a very loving kitty.