I don't like kids

[Willowy]

There has been . It's one of those discussions that just goes 'round and 'round because nobody ever changes their opinion on the subject. So no point really.

Like I said, with all the anti-child sentiment going around, I just thought someone should root for the other team . I like kids but I don't like bowling alleys--too many rowdy adults. So I do feel sorry for the OP, just for different reasons :lol3:.

 

[catbehaviors]

Spanking isn't bullying.

Your opinion. Not mine. I do not see how hitting people to get your own way is not bullying just because they are smaller and younger than you (even more so!). Living in fear that someone is going to hit you if you mess up is being bullied. Because someone disrespects you, you get to hit them? Because someone doesn't do as you say, you get to hit them? Not acceptable behavior in my book. And really, hitting children because they display anger? I would laugh if that weren't so sad. But go on thinking whatever you want. I will never feel that hitting is ever acceptable, and I will always have a very low opinion of people who engage in such behavior.

I don't see anywhere where she said it's acceptable to hit a child when they're angry. ???

 

[Willowy]

I don't see anywhere where she said it's acceptable to hit a child when they're angry. ???

Haha, I read D-anger as anger, not danger :tongue2:. I don't see how a dangerous situation would require hitting someone, though. I mean, if you had to get physical to protect someone in an emergency maybe. But as a deliberate punishment? No.

 

[valanhb]

Funny...my sister and I were just talking about this same thing last weekend.

We were apparently born without the "Mommy" gene. Neither of us wanted kids. We had different reasons for it, though. She married into kids and was good with that. She didn't want the whole pregnancy/childbirth thing. To me that's the easy part of having kids. Pregnancy only lasts 9 months and childbirth usually lasts a few hours. Raising kids lasts for the rest of your/their lives.

I got pregnant when I was 16 and miscarried. The fates were definitely looking out for me! Sure, I played with dollies when I was little but after I wasn't pregnant and wasn't going to have a baby, I never wanted one. Ever. Like Pam, I just don't like them. I liked my godson when he was little...but I could always leave and my friend never asked me to babysit.

The stereotype is that men run when they find out that a woman has a kid. I would run the other way if I found out that a man I was dating had a kid that he was responsible for (had custody of). Weekend dad or a guy with grown kids? I could handle that. But I am kind of the anti-chick kind of chick (I don't like chocolate that much, do not see the point of Valentine's Day, and don't get into the whole "romance" thing...).

Our cousins are all having kids now. Both my sister and I shutter at the thought. But I have 4 cats (my house can't hold more without major issues) and she has 8 dogs (they live on a large property now that the kids are gone). We are both caretakers, maternal even. We are just maternal to the four-legged, furry kind of children. Definitely not skin-kids!

Pam, I think I would drink enough tequila before the party that I wouldn't be lying by telling them that I'm just too sick to go!

 

[speakhandsforme]

See, I like the thought of raising a child to my own excellent standards. Smart, free-thinking, working to actively change the world around them for the better. I like the idea of having a thoughtful teenager that I could sort of mold to my standards. But,

1. Thoughtful teenagers are exceedingly rare,
2. Kids are people too, and even if you're their parents they're not going to be what you want them to be, at least not all/most of the time,
3. Having to deal with the screaming toddler/elementary school years before it is just not worth it. Just can't stomach the idea of being 24/7 responsible for another human. Sorry, I'm just too lazy/selfish/whatever for that. Obviously this is the biggest reason for my being childfree.

It's going to be really hard explaining to my mom's family that I'm CF, too. Mom's family is very child-oriented; my mom's sister and SIL are both stay at home moms, and my mom would have been if she hadn't had to work out of financial necessity. The concept of a career woman isn't really one they've thought of as natural. I'm only 19, but they're ALREADY pressuring me to marry my boyfriend (we've been together 2 years, he's 19 too) and have kids while he finishes school and then "finds a good job to support you."

I'm like, NO. I can and will support myself, thank you. Recipe for disaster is to depend on a man for your financial income and then have kids. -___-

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Ok I've been reading this thread for 2 days now and I'm still sad over it. 

First off; Pam I don't blame you for not wanting to chaperon 20 kids.  You'd be either crazy or called to want that.  But is it REALLY going to be 20 kids to 2-3 adults?  If not; it's just one day.  I hope you talked to your Son and DIL about it; about exactly what they expect of you.  If it's unreasonable; the time to speak up is sooner rather than later!

I can't imagine my Grandparents not coming to my parties as a kid.  They are a huge part of so many memories for me.  This thread may have hit a nerve because I'm missing mine so terribly right now.  The other day I got to finally tell my Grandpa we are giving this baby his name as the middle name.  I had 2 sets of doting Grandparents and they are the reasons I like most of the stuff I do now.  I saw my Mom's a lot more than Dad's but it's still like that.  I would have missed out on so much without them.  I'm sure some of the things they did for me weren't fun for them; but they did it anyway.  And I appreciate it and respect them all the more for it now.  Heck my Mom's parent's helped take care of 2 of their great-grandkids so my cousin, a very young single mom, could work.  Those 2 are now in their mid and late teens and that house is the first one they think of when they think of home.  I haven't been able to see any of them since last Summer and with a new baby coming in a few months; I probably won't be able to get up there again before Fall.  Words cannot describe how much I miss them.  How bad I would love to turn back time for a while and curl up in my Grandpa's chair with him to read the comics before school.  My DD may be 2, my DS unborn, but there is a part of me that can't wait to get to be Grandma and make those memories for my Grandkids!  And I don't typically consider myself a "kid" person.  I dont want to work with them; but I want to cherish the ones given to me!

 

[resqchick]

I'm going to give the example of WHY I gave my son a spanking the one time he got one. He was probably 7 at the time, and he HIT his then 2 year old brother in the back with a wiffle ball bat. I gave him a come to Jesus moment, and whacked him on the butt. I asked him if he liked the way it felt to get hit. he said, obviously, No. I said do you think the baby deserved to be hit, he said, no. 

Problem solved. Now I let them duke it out themselves, being brothers and all. they don't hit each other but the poking and pushing and breathing the others air is normal. 

To the OP, I like the suggestion of just letting the parents know you are there to be with your grandchild, not 20 other children. You are not there to assist them in wrangling unruly children, and just go and enjoy yourself.

 

[3catsn1dog]

I was thinking about this yesterday and when I have conflicting mental thoughts I go to df to be the ref for my brain. LOL So basically after explaining this thread and what the details where. It was one of those things where if we were the parents we would never expect a grandparent to chaperone a birthday party because if we did that we would be the ones responsible for it not grandparents.

We are also the type of people where we didnt have birthday parties as kids, we dont feel like we missed out on anything by not having parties and as of right now we will have family cake and ice cream type thing but not a hullabaloo birthday party. Also even if we do have a family type thing for birthdays it will be us, gremlin and grandparents only and since my mom is likely to knock the evil step witch out within two seconds they would probably have to be seperate. LOL

 

[AbbysMom]

Maybe we should make an IMO thread on this topic?

I agree. This isn't the thread to question parenting skills.

Pam, been there done that. I drank after the event. :lol3:

I also relate to them better as I get older, especially the older I get. My godchild had his birthday party at a bowling alley for five years in a row. It probably won't be as bad as you think, but it won't be a bed of roses either. Some of the parents did stay and since they knew the kids they would do the bulk of the chaperoning. Are there video games at the bowling alley? Steer clear of video game time! I can not stress this enough! :lol3: I used to be very helpful. I would help set up the table with the tablecloth, plates, etc. and then do cleanup after the cake. You'll be too busy at the table to watch the bowling. If you take over your son's camera and take pictures you'll also be able to stay a bit removed from the chaos. If all else fails, many bowling alleys have a bar. :lol3:

 

[Winchester]

Maybe we should make an IMO thread on this topic?

Yes, I believe so! I certainly didn't mean for this to turn into a spanking v. not spanking thread and, if you like, you're more than welcome to start a thread to that effect in the IMO section. (Although, frankly, spanking does have its place, IMO. I was spanked as a kid and I know I deserved it. I'm not in jail or anything....at least not yet anyway. We spanked DS as well when it was needed and he's OK, too. Not a biggie, really. To each his or her own.)

Anyway, you guys are a hoot! Never thought about valium....here I was, thinking about Advil!

Rick and I talked and we are going to the bowling party, but maybe for the last 30 minutes or so, just long enough to watch our grandchildren for awhile. To see our grandson open his birthday presents. Then going back to the house for some cake for Rick. And Rick has promised me dinner afterward...yes, it was a bribe; I admit it. My DIL's mom (their other Grandma) will be happy to stay for the whole thing and chaperone and she's really good with the kids. So it should all work out OK.

As for parties, we didn't have a lot in the way of parties when we were kids either. My parents did give me my Sweet 16 party though. We did quite a few birthday parties for our DS.....I remember one where we had about 30 kids (and I survived without Advil, valium, or tequila! Or a Cafe mocha Valium vodka latte!). It was just us and my brother and his GF as chaperones....the parents dropped their kids at the house and took off; nobody even offered to stay...and that was OK, too. We all had a ball. DS's birthday is in October and he had just moved to a new school, so we decided a good way to break the ice was a Halloween-type birthday party, complete with vampires (my brother), the Mummy (Rick, who was a hysterical Mummy), etc. Lots of decorations, scary sounds, the whole works. The kids talked about that party for years. And I admit, we enjoyed ourselves, too.

Mooch, I adored my Grandma, too; I always thought the sun rose on her shoulders....she was that special. I do spend time with the grandchildren. But no, I'm not the doting grandmotherly type. I'm just not. We visit with them and they visit with us. We don't take them overnight at all, although I think Rick would like to. I don't want to do the overnight thing and I've never offered to do so, which is strange because I pretty much lived with my Grandma when I was younger. Mom couldn't wait to get me out of the house and I was only too glad to go.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Maybe when they are just a little bit older and can do something special with just Grandpa an overnight would be better.

  Something like camping out in the backyard! hehe

I hope you enjoy what you get to off the bowling party...and dinner afterward! 

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

I know I'm late to this party, but just adding that I don't like kids either, that's why I never had any.  When DH asked me to marry him, I said I would, but ONLY if he didn't want any more kids (unfortunately, he already had two from a previous marriage), and he was more than happy not to have any more. 

As far as the bowling party,...maybe you'll even have fun for that half hour if everyone is behaving

 

[meuzettesmom]

I get along with cats and dogs better than a bunch of kids.

 

[mrblanche]

Unlike many high-school teachers, I like most teenagers.  It's teenagers' parents I usually can't stand.

That said, on our cruise last week, there were virtually no kids.  The least I've ever seen on a cruise. 

Mark Twain said, "There are two ways to travel.  First class, and with children."