I don't know what to do anymore... Please help

[blueberrybeth]

Hang in there! It sounds like you are doing what you need to do. It may be good to look at all the current difficulties as temporary - yes money is a huge issue, but money isn't love or friendship. And it's that love and friendship that gets you through.

Although you are already going through a lot, I'd encourage you to take some time to actively take care of yourself - take a walk, journal, read a good book from the library. You will find that if you feel better about yourself things will go a little smoother. Marriage really is two people coming together...if they lose thier individuality (esp. in times of stress), things can get messy.

Remember, TRUST YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF. That will make it easier to trust and love your husband, an hopefully he will do the same.

I am thinking of you

I am relatively new to marriage, and boy it can be difficult. But, anything worth something is worth fighting for.

 

[emb_78]

Originally Posted by blueberrybeth

Hang in there! It sounds like you are doing what you need to do. It may be good to look at all the current difficulties as temporary - yes money is a huge issue, but money isn't love or friendship. And it's that love and friendship that gets you through.

Although you are already going through a lot, I'd encourage you to take some time to actively take care of yourself - take a walk, journal, read a good book from the library. You will find that if you feel better about yourself things will go a little smoother. Marriage really is two people coming together...if they lose thier individuality (esp. in times of stress), things can get messy.

Remember, TRUST YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF. That will make it easier to trust and love your husband, an hopefully he will do the same.

I am thinking of you

I am relatively new to marriage, and boy it can be difficult. But, anything worth something is worth fighting for.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

 

[fatkitties]

One day, hubby and I were fighting (over the phone, while he was 300 miles away at work) and I got mad enough that I left. A couple days later, we talked and decided that the fighting was STUPID, and we didnt' want to fight anymore. We still don't have much money, but any purchase over $20 (aside from gas) is talked about. Neither one of us buys things that we know will annoy the other, without talking about it and deciding if it's needed. And I got a part time job to give me money for the "dumb things" I buy for the animals. That way he can't complain. He loves the animals too, but he thinks I buy a lot of things that aren't needed. It's hard to explain to him why I needed a $30 coat thinner for the dogs!
Anyways, when I find myself yelling at him, and he doesn't deserve it, I stop and tell him "I'm not yelling at you, I just need to yell and you're standing here. I'm just really frustrated about (whatever). I'm sorry." And he does the same thing. When we need to have a discussion (when most couples fight) we sit down and calmly discuss the issue. We've even used a tape recorder before, to prevent confusion or misunderstandings. And the ground rules of a discussion are no yelling, no name calling, etc, and show each other respect and let each other speak. Things have seriously improved since then.
If you both want things to be better, you can do it! It definintely takes two, though!

Amber

 

[sunnicat]

Just wanting to send you hugs and good vibes. You are doing all the right things, it sounds like. Keep working on it, and I hope things get better!