I Dont Know What To Do About My Future....

[terestrife]

Hello,
I have posted before about things going on in my life. I lost my mom last year to cancer, on october.

My brother has been kind enough to take care of me since then and hasnt pushed me to look for work. I was my moms care taker. I help out around the house, and since its summer, i take care of his daughter, as his wife has a job.

My niece is starting school. So i need to figure out what i intend to do. I've been floundering for years. I went to college and got an AA but ended up not completing my bachelors. I went to study dietetics, but wasnt able to control my weight, so i left that career. Ive thought of becoming a teacher, because i love kids. But i dont know if i have the patience for it. Having dealt with nieces and nephews, i know how tough it can be on the bad days.

theres not much else that interests me, my sister even had me volunteer in her office. Office work really wasnt for me.

My mom spent her last years taking me to college (i didnt have a license) as we both wanted me to have a good career. Im willing to go back to college, but i dont feel certain of what to do. Im at a point where i have 3 options. Figure out what i want to do in college, get a job, or my brother offered to fund if i want to start an online business.

I know that there are options to make money from home, but it would take time for things to pick up.
I just wish i could feel certain of whatever decision i make.

 

[Mother Dragon]

I don't know how old you are, but it's never to late to find your passion.

How did you feel about caring for your mother? If you were good at it and didn't mind the hard physical and mental work, you might become a professional caregiver. There are going to be more and more demands for those who can do the job well. You can either earn some sort of certification, which will mean more money and more responsibility, or just do non-medical care. Some work eight-hour shifts and some are live-ins. The money is fairly good.

I will forever be grateful for the lady who cared for my mother, first just days, then finally 24/7. She was a saint.

 

[verna davies]

Its never too late to start studying. I got my accountancy qualifications at 40 and my degree at 46. Both were funded by my employers.
If you could find a job you liked such as care giving as Mother Dragon mentioned, perhaps your employer would financially support your studies. The important thing is to find a job that you are happy with and can see yourself making a long term career of.
Good luck and keep us updated

 

[nahui]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you feel about wanting to be certain about your decision. I am also sort of going trough something like this and I know the uncertainty can be TOUGH! So, first of all, be gentle to yourself. It sounds like you have a supportive family and opportunities. You say you are willing to go back to college, but unsure of what to do. Perhaps you could get a job and go to college at the same time, that way you could be earning money and giving yourself the chance to try different things in college to figure out what you like.

Maybe college is not even a necessity, if you have the right contacts. It really depends on what you want to do. Trust me, a college education is not a guarantee of finding a job. I have a graduate degree and everywhere I interview I'm told that I have a great resume, but unfortunately I'm overqualified, so I get no offers. I'm now preparing myself to do something different and start my own business, but it is a gamble. It may work or it may not work, but until I try I won't know for sure.

 

[rubysmama]

I agree with Mother Dragon , if you were good at caring for your Mom, perhaps you should consider work as a caregiver.

Or what about a live-in nanny? There'd be bad days, of course, but there's bad days in every job.

I know this is a cat site, so obviously you like cats, but do you like dogs too? If so, perhaps you could be a dog walker.

I'd avoid the online business for now, as I think it would be risky and hard to make a go of it. And the stress of knowing your brother funded it, would be a constant worry.

I hope you find your calling. Maybe take baby steps. Get a part-time job. Or volunteer somewhere. Take a course or 2 at the university. Maybe get your driver's license, if you haven't already done so.

Good luck.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Mother Dragon's idea of a caregiver is a good one. A similar idea is an activities coordinator in an assisted living or nursing home. That is something I have thought I'd enjoy myself because I enjoy working with elderly people but not all the care giving aspects. My Grandfather seems to enjoy the activities at his assisted living home. His mind is pretty sharp for 95 and they do everything from trivia and bingo to board games or sing-alongs. I know some of the places around me have wii-bowling leagues and they go compete with each other.

It is hard to chose a career. I took a career aptitude test when I was younger and it was still a difficult choice; but it did give me things to think about. A lot of people don't end up working in the field they study either. Or they work in a few fields before they find a good fit.

 

[neely]

Since you were a compassionate caregiver for your mom do you think you might like to go back to school/college and pursue a nursing career? You could also look into working at a hospital. Perhaps make an appointment to talk with a college counselor. The right counselor can be very helpful. Best of luck!

 

[AbbysMom]

Pet sitting?

 

[terestrife]

I don't know how old you are, but it's never to late to find your passion.

How did you feel about caring for your mother? If you were good at it and didn't mind the hard physical and mental work, you might become a professional caregiver. There are going to be more and more demands for those who can do the job well. You can either earn some sort of certification, which will mean more money and more responsibility, or just do non-medical care. Some work eight-hour shifts and some are live-ins. The money is fairly good.

I will forever be grateful for the lady who cared for my mother, first just days, then finally 24/7. She was a saint.

I have a lot for respect for care givers especially after being with my mom in her final days. But its not for me. I only got through it because it was for my mom. I can hardly handle listening to my sister talk about what shes going thorugh with her husband. He has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I dont think i can handle helping others in the same situation as my mom.

Its never too late to start studying. I got my accountancy qualifications at 40 and my degree at 46. Both were funded by my employers.
If you could find a job you liked such as care giving as Mother Dragon mentioned, perhaps your employer would financially support your studies. The important thing is to find a job that you are happy with and can see yourself making a long term career of.
Good luck and keep us updated

That is my goal finding something that i genuinely enjoy doing =)

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you feel about wanting to be certain about your decision. I am also sort of going trough something like this and I know the uncertainty can be TOUGH! So, first of all, be gentle to yourself. It sounds like you have a supportive family and opportunities. You say you are willing to go back to college, but unsure of what to do. Perhaps you could get a job and go to college at the same time, that way you could be earning money and giving yourself the chance to try different things in college to figure out what you like.

Maybe college is not even a necessity, if you have the right contacts. It really depends on what you want to do. Trust me, a college education is not a guarantee of finding a job. I have a graduate degree and everywhere I interview I'm told that I have a great resume, but unfortunately I'm overqualified, so I get no offers. I'm now preparing myself to do something different and start my own business, but it is a gamble. It may work or it may not work, but until I try I won't know for sure.

Thank you for your kind words. =) I have heard that about college, so many people with degrees and not enough jobs. I have so many ideas of what i want to do but not sure which one is right for me. My mom had always wanted us to have some kind of business, but she became very sick before we could do anything.

I agree with Mother Dragon , if you were good at caring for your Mom, perhaps you should consider work as a caregiver.

Or what about a live-in nanny? There'd be bad days, of course, but there's bad days in every job.

I know this is a cat site, so obviously you like cats, but do you like dogs too? If so, perhaps you could be a dog walker.

I'd avoid the online business for now, as I think it would be risky and hard to make a go of it. And the stress of knowing your brother funded it, would be a constant worry.

I hope you find your calling. Maybe take baby steps. Get a part-time job. Or volunteer somewhere. Take a course or 2 at the university. Maybe get your driver's license, if you haven't already done so.

Good luck.

Already have a license =)
I have considered working with kids. I love them very much, as i have helped care for my siblings kids. I am caring for my 6 year old niece for the summer. But having taken care of kids i do know the bad days very well. lol but youre right, there are bad things in any job.

Mother Dragon's idea of a caregiver is a good one. A similar idea is an activities coordinator in an assisted living or nursing home. That is something I have thought I'd enjoy myself because I enjoy working with elderly people but not all the care giving aspects. My Grandfather seems to enjoy the activities at his assisted living home. His mind is pretty sharp for 95 and they do everything from trivia and bingo to board games or sing-alongs. I know some of the places around me have wii-bowling leagues and they go compete with each other.

It is hard to chose a career. I took a career aptitude test when I was younger and it was still a difficult choice; but it did give me things to think about. A lot of people don't end up working in the field they study either. Or they work in a few fields before they find a good fit.

My sister also suggested the job activity coordinator. I get along with elderly people, but i dont think the job of caregiving is for me. I took a aptitude test and it told me to go for something creative. To be a teacher or go into writing. Both things that i have considered before.

Since you were a compassionate caregiver for your mom do you think you might like to go back to school/college and pursue a nursing career? You could also look into working at a hospital. Perhaps make an appointment to talk with a college counselor. The right counselor can be very helpful. Best of luck!

Its a good idea to go to a college counselor, i might try to do that. thanks!

I dont think nursing is for me. lol i gave mom baths and helped her with clean up after the bathroom, and I did it for her, because shes my mother. But i dont think i could do that for others. I have obsessive tendencies, and obsessively wash my hands just by being in contact with regular bacteria. I think being a nurse would drive my tendencies up the wall. lol Just caring for my niece is tough, as kids can be very messy. lol
[ QUOTE="AbbysMom, post: 4354337, member: 10485"]Pet sitting?[/QUOTE]
thats a good idea, my niece does that for spare money =)


Thanks everyone for the suggestions!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I think one thing to remember is that there is no job that you will love 100% of the time. Sometimes it takes a little while working in a field to really get a feel for it and what you can bring to it. Other times we end up in jobs we don't love necessarily; but find fulfillment in something volunteer on the side.

 

[artiemom]

Could you try volunteering at something, so you can see how things go? Or ask to 'shadow' someone. Perhaps a Career Counselor can help you out..

If your feel artistic, is there a museum you could work at? or provide tours?

 

[cassiopea]

First off, at the risk of sounding awful (Might get beat up for this) but there is a lot of "It's not for me" comments. Sometimes you just have to suck it up if you want to build up a better life and career. Lot's of people have done jobs that weren't for them at the time, but stuck with it because of A) It was good experience; gained skills, looked good on a resume etc 2) Responsibilities; supporting a degree, assist with family, bills etc 3) Simply a temporary stepping stone for something else, whether to save money to finance a dream, or for another career. It's rare for anyone to find a perfectly amazing dream job on the first go.

It is also normal to feel unsure when starting a new job. It takes time to marinate, to get used to the setting and atmosphere and knowledge. On average it can take 6 months to a year for a new employee to master a job.

With that all being said, it is also ok to feel uncertain, just have to try and go for it and not overthink or be worried. You might not find an amazingly perfect fit right away, but it WILL happen for you in the future, when putting in the hard work, connecting with the right people and doing the right research. The job that isn't a right fit for now is only temporary. Right now it is best to think the long term plan and goals, and focus on also helping out your family financially and to give back a little.

Consider getting that driver's license. It will be helpful, lot's of employers don't consider people who don't have one.

I do sincerely give you many hugs and love for the loss of your mom, and mourning is understandably a huge factor in decision making, so taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually is a big component, so hopefully you are doing ok in that regard!

In regards to school, I can't speak where you live, but you can find out what can be offered in terms of trying things out - some unis/colleges allow folks to be a guest in class, or even try out a whole program for a month completely free to see if they like it or not. You can also have access to online classes.

What we do know didn't work or not fond of: Caretaking, activity coordinator/nursing, counseling, teaching is unsure, dietetics, office work, and since you mention obsessive tendencies, perhaps becoming a maid wouldn't work for you either.


You mentioned something creative....

Maybe something in theater and performance arts? Back stage stuff, like working with costumes, lightning, filming or sets. Or even makeup. Maybe you can consider working in retail, in a fabric store or something with fashion, like a stylist. If you like plants and gardening, you can consider working for a flower shop, or perhaps baking?



Huge best wishes and much love from all of us! You are bright and have lot's of potential!

 

[terestrife]

Could you try volunteering at something, so you can see how things go? Or ask to 'shadow' someone. Perhaps a Career Counselor can help you out..

If your feel artistic, is there a museum you could work at? or provide tours?

that sounds fun, ill look into it =)

First off, at the risk of sounding awful (Might get beat up for this) but there is a lot of "It's not for me" comments. Sometimes you just have to suck it up if you want to build up a better life and career. Lot's of people have done jobs that weren't for them at the time, but stuck with it because of A) It was good experience; gained skills, looked good on a resume etc 2) Responsibilities; supporting a degree, assist with family, bills etc 3) Simply a temporary stepping stone for something else, whether to save money to finance a dream, or for another career. It's rare for anyone to find a perfectly amazing dream job on the first go.

It is also normal to feel unsure when starting a new job. It takes time to marinate, to get used to the setting and atmosphere and knowledge. On average it can take 6 months to a year for a new employee to master a job.

With that all being said, it is also ok to feel uncertain, just have to try and go for it and not overthink or be worried. You might not find an amazingly perfect fit right away, but it WILL happen for you in the future, when putting in the hard work, connecting with the right people and doing the right research. The job that isn't a right fit for now is only temporary. Right now it is best to think the long term plan and goals, and focus on also helping out your family financially and to give back a little.

Consider getting that driver's license. It will be helpful, lot's of employers don't consider people who don't have one.

I do sincerely give you many hugs and love for the loss of your mom, and mourning is understandably a huge factor in decision making, so taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually is a big component, so hopefully you are doing ok in that regard!

In regards to school, I can't speak where you live, but you can find out what can be offered in terms of trying things out - some unis/colleges allow folks to be a guest in class, or even try out a whole program for a month completely free to see if they like it or not. You can also have access to online classes.

What we do know didn't work or not fond of: Caretaking, activity coordinator/nursing, counseling, teaching is unsure, dietetics, office work, and since you mention obsessive tendencies, perhaps becoming a maid wouldn't work for you either.


You mentioned something creative....

Maybe something in theater and performance arts? Back stage stuff, like working with costumes, lightning, filming or sets. Or even makeup. Maybe you can consider working in retail, in a fabric store or something with fashion, like a stylist. If you like plants and gardening, you can consider working for a flower shop, or perhaps baking?



Huge best wishes and much love from all of us! You are bright and have lot's of potential!

Im not against working right now, and have been sending out my resume. I am looking for answers for what to do in my future. I promised my mother i would finish school or find a job that meant something to me. i promised her i would get my drivers license, which i already did as i mentioned earlier in this post. I understand that a lot of people do jobs that they dont like just to get by. I spent months volunteering at my sisters job and was offered a job. I put in time and effort in a job without pay to get the experience. However World Relief closed down. And i ended up spending the summer watching my niece.

i know i am being picky but i have loans for just going for a degree without truly considering things. i dont want to randomly choose something and not figure out what i truly want to do long term.

thanks for the help though i appreciate it.