ChiChi named thus because she was so filled with energy CHI - she was given 2x the amount of this energy because God knew/knows I'd be a handful and would need all the love and care she could give to me and the world and that light shined very brightly.
When I was walking the walk to go bury her under a cypress tree, all of the animals, the critters out there, the birds and cats on the way, paused, gave a deep nod to me pushing the carriage with our Sherpa bag fitted within and ChiChi beloved ally and mama within. They knew. It was hard - really hard - not to know. It was the vibe and energy, her sweet fierceness. I swear she was an African queen in a previous life. She loved like nobody knew how to show me prior our meeting of hearts that day before Christmas 1999. Bereft of love from humans it was the animals - mine at the time, a cat and dog who had shown me the unconditional love and gave me comfort when I was a child. It pretty much stayed that way for life.
I was drawn to her and she was drawn to me. Truly a match made in heaven. I always said, *you are my soulmate* and that we'd go together because how could I live this life without her? She held on to the last. possible. moment. She just couldn't any longer. We'd gone down many, scary, dark and furious places. We traveled the insides of both her and me in all of our ailments. We tended to each other's pains and celebrated our coolness in music and nature. We rocked when it was good and most of the time it was me and my many moods of thunder that turned the light into the dark. And it was she, the angel sent to me to keep me going NO MATTER WHAT, would do her magic, would just be there in her fabulous tabby - all chakras patterned on her fur in perfect symmetry, yep) and make it all better. The mama of all mamas. It was she that I buried in January - the 9th - of this year.
I have been doing poorly since. There will never be a replacement to what she was. And I figured in reading my books here that there is a time and season for all things. Beginnings and endings and starts and finishes. She brought me this far and now it was up to me to pick from what she taught me, as my human mother had done as well in her time, and to make something good. Make it good Joy, pay it forward, keep the faith and the focus and all will be ok. It's going to be ok. It's going to be ok.
I miss you like all hell and heaven combined. And to the end of the world - till we fly again together.
Joy
When I was walking the walk to go bury her under a cypress tree, all of the animals, the critters out there, the birds and cats on the way, paused, gave a deep nod to me pushing the carriage with our Sherpa bag fitted within and ChiChi beloved ally and mama within. They knew. It was hard - really hard - not to know. It was the vibe and energy, her sweet fierceness. I swear she was an African queen in a previous life. She loved like nobody knew how to show me prior our meeting of hearts that day before Christmas 1999. Bereft of love from humans it was the animals - mine at the time, a cat and dog who had shown me the unconditional love and gave me comfort when I was a child. It pretty much stayed that way for life.
I was drawn to her and she was drawn to me. Truly a match made in heaven. I always said, *you are my soulmate* and that we'd go together because how could I live this life without her? She held on to the last. possible. moment. She just couldn't any longer. We'd gone down many, scary, dark and furious places. We traveled the insides of both her and me in all of our ailments. We tended to each other's pains and celebrated our coolness in music and nature. We rocked when it was good and most of the time it was me and my many moods of thunder that turned the light into the dark. And it was she, the angel sent to me to keep me going NO MATTER WHAT, would do her magic, would just be there in her fabulous tabby - all chakras patterned on her fur in perfect symmetry, yep) and make it all better. The mama of all mamas. It was she that I buried in January - the 9th - of this year.
I have been doing poorly since. There will never be a replacement to what she was. And I figured in reading my books here that there is a time and season for all things. Beginnings and endings and starts and finishes. She brought me this far and now it was up to me to pick from what she taught me, as my human mother had done as well in her time, and to make something good. Make it good Joy, pay it forward, keep the faith and the focus and all will be ok. It's going to be ok. It's going to be ok.
I miss you like all hell and heaven combined. And to the end of the world - till we fly again together.
Joy
