I can hardly function after having to put my cat to sleep

[daze]

I just lost my two year old buddy to FIP four days ago, and I understand your loss and pain. It's very unexpected and I've been blaming myself too and wondering if I made the right choice. My buddy had already hit the worst from it; he had stopped eating entirely for two weeks and went from an energetic young, loving boy to suddenly a silent, sickly kitty who struggled with gathering energy to jump. He looked terrible and his liver started failing, and it was beyond awful to watch him become that. At the time I hadn't been aware it was FIP, so it was a trial-and-error period with my vet to see if different antibiotics brought his fever down, but in the end nothing helped and his liver began failing. I didn't really have a choice then because he wasn't living his life anymore, he was just there and really sick and even the look he gave me just told me that he was sick and not himself. I think it would be worse to have watched that happen in a kitten, because the entire time I just kept willing my boy to get better and wanting to help, but I really couldn't. It was awful, knowing that all I wanted to do was take care of him and bring him back to the lively kitty he was but that he was just getting worse and no matter how much I spent or did it couldn't help him. I hope someday that they find a cure for FIP so no one has to go through these ordeals ever again.

I'm really sorry about your loss. I'm really trying to remember my boy in his most positive light and how he made me smile and I won't ever forget how important he was to me. I hope you can do the same with your precious baby Ringo. At least he was happy and loved, not all young cats are so lucky to have a safe and loving home. I'm positive that you did everything you could and more for him and clearly he was loved. With FIP and my experience with it, it's just a terrible battle that has no hope for a good outcome either way.

 

[fearlessbenjamn]

Daze

I am so sorry for your loss.  I had never heard of FIP either and was floored and confused when the vet confirmed this was what he had.  I would have done anything  ANYTHING  to save my boy.  It is such a devastating illness.  I know that I had no choice but to let him go.  I could not bring him home and watch him decline.  He seemed to be going downhill fast.  I know in my heart I did the right thing.  That doesn't take away my pain though.  My Ringo was a bright light in our lives and he is so terribly missed. Some may say, he was just a cat but he was so much more than that.  He was a little bundle of happiness.  I am so thankful for the time I had with him. 

I guess we have no choice but to move on, right? I really do feel your pain. This pain is something I would not wish upon my worst enemy.  Lets both of us try to focus on the good and happy memories. That is what they deserve.  Everyone says the pain will lessen with time.  I know they are right.  Still doesn't make it any easier. 

 

[Primula]

So sorry to Daze & again to FearlessBenjamin. My kitten died on July 20 at 10 months & my pain is still so intense. I absolutely know what you guys are suffering through.

 

[brokenheart]

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes

The above is lovely and I think has helped many people here.

To paraphrase a friend of mine, We do the best we can and love our animals to high heaven.

What you are going through is a normal part of grieving, and usually comes with the first wave, and may be the hardest part - the second guessing.

Cats are very good at hiding illness, so you can't be sure he wasn't feeling any pain yet.

The first part of grief is completely overwhelming. Just put one foot in front of the other. It will get better. It will. I'm so, so sorry for your loss, for the awful weight of having to decide for another creature, and for your suffering.

 

[Primula]

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes


Cats are very good at hiding illness

Why do cats do that?

 

[brokenheart]

I'm just guessing but maybe some animal thing where they become prey if they're sick. Or maybe they experience pain differently? I honestly don't know.

 

[Primula]

I'm just guessing but maybe some animal thing where they become prey if they're sick. Or maybe they experience pain differently? I honestly don't know.

You might be right on the prey thing. My youngish cat had a tumor & had to be euthanized. I had no idea she had a tumor until one day she sat on the floor & would not move. Next day the vet showed me her x-rays & told me it was very cruel to keep her alive any longer.