I am in tears

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by strange_wings

I don't really get how anyone can let themselves be victimized like this.

Wow. I don't even know where to start, or how to put this lightly. I unfortunately cannot seperate my emotions from this topic.

We're not all like you.

Abusive partners tend to brainwash their partners and it is a viscious cycle to break.

Blaming the victim for being victimized? I'm sorry, but that is just wrong. I hope, really hope I am misreading the above statement.



Trillcat: No matter what ANYONE says, this is NOT your fault. Noone chooses to be a victim. I commend you for posting, and supporting, and talking about your experience. By doing so, you have opened up a doorway for another person to see that there is a way out. You've done great by burning the numbers, I hope it felt really good. Like Carolina said, the only way you will be able to truly free yourself from his hold is by no contact...

Thank you for posting.

 

[strange_wings]

Ah I see, supposedly I judged someone here? (not sure how?) And am being asked not to by those who are now judging me based on a misunderstanding. Very nice from people who are trying to say be supportive and understanding...


If you honestly believe that every single person is capable of being a victim by that same view one must also judge everyone as potentially being a abuser - which yes, makes absolutely no sense. Point being that everyone has different physiological make up.
Think of all the people who get robbed at gunpoint and fight back, even when they do not have a weapon. Not everyone is capable of being a victim.


Didn't go through it? I was slammed into walls, hit with items like broomsticks, frequently cut open when my mother slapped me (from rings and nails), had a shoulder dislocated, etc - plus a lot of verbal abuse that took much longer to deal with. I didn't speak up as a child because I knew there wasn't family who would take me and I did not want to go into any sort of foster care. I've shared this is some past threads, some probably weren't here so are making judgments about me based on incomplete information.

As for poo-pooing all over the idea of Trillcat seeking local help, especially since none of us know if her ex could still retaliate against her in some way - is that a wise suggestion?
For those who have been through it - do you consider it wrong to now give back to your community and help others who may not be able to help themselves?

These groups are a great resource to be used for those who need them and aided. It's a shame that anyone would dismiss them so easily and probably a sign why so many abusers get away with hurting others..

 

[carolina]

Right.... Strange_wings, I am not going to discuss this with you, as there is no point...
I am sorry you went though all that when you were a child, I am glad to see you survived it.

Please let's go back to supporting Trillcat - here, now, and whenever she needs.

Trillcat, my dear

be strong, we are here for you... Feel free to PM me, or call me, if you want... I can give you my phone # if you need...
Have a good night, and NEVER think this is your fault - it is NOT. Be strong, and one day at a time...

 

[junebugbear07]

Big

to you!! Ive never been in a relationship with an abusive person, but my brother emotionally and physically abuses/harasses me my whole life. All I know is I have a very very hard time trusting, or letting men into my life because of my brother. My brother tries to make it sound like its my fault he does what he does like he will say, "well im bored so thats why i do it". Its hard because most people outside of my immediate family dont believe me, when I do open up, they look at me like "are you sure you didnt hit your head?" its frustrating.

I really glad you are getting away from all of this. I dont really know much about your situation, but I want you to know I am here to support you! And send you many many vibes to reclaim your life, . Stay strong!!

 

[techiegirl]

Originally Posted by Trillcat

I agree. It hurts though. I thought we could get past the abuse, but he is still giving it. No remorse, I "asked for it"

Abusers will always be abusers.
Interesting article.... http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/04...nce/index.html

Take care of yourself - you deserve THAT!

Whether you believe it or not, know that WE do!

 

[trillcat]

Thank you all for coming to my defence.
Strange_wings, I hold no offence to you
It is a question to be asked, Why?
It is the the same I asked myself over and over, how could anyone tolerate this? I saw freinds being hit and said "Oh Please, this would never happen to me! They need to get out! I thought myself the voice of reason for them.
Then I had this happen.
It is a sick strange hold they have that goes beyond reason they know what to do to hurt,