I am FURIOUS! He is being a total jerk!!!!! GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

[theimp98]

i hope you have alot fun.
how i am not a fan of cops(even if i do go shooting with cops during the summer

) , and i think people put way to much faith in them. They do have a very stress filled job, it is not easy to deal with some of the people they have to deal with, along seeing some of th worst people cant do to each other.

My one friend who is on the highway patrol here in ohio, has told me that his ability to talk to his wife about work stuff is why they have been able to stay married for 22 years.

anyway have a safe and fun trip

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by theimp98

i hope you have alot fun.
how i am not a fan of cops(even if i do go shooting with cops during the summer

) , and i think people put way to much faith in them. They do have a very stress filled job, it is not easy to deal with some of the people they have to deal with, along seeing some of th worst people cant do to each other.

My one friend who is on the highway patrol here in ohio, has told me that his ability to talk to his wife about work stuff is why they have been able to stay married for 22 years.

anyway have a safe and fun trip

thanks bruce

it's good to hear about someone else who's a cop too. i am not a fan of memphis cops at all- they're scumb bags for the most part, so are some of the other cities around here- bartlett however, where colin works seems to be a really outstanding dpt- all the officers are nice and genuinely care about their community /people- i have yet to meet one i don't like. it can definitely be stressful for them. the deaths are the worst. a few weeks ago he had to take a call where a little girl died. i actually wound up doing her flowers for her funeral as a weird coencidence. i know for a fact that one got to him. also one if his good friends who was also a cop with him committed suicide a few months back- the entire dpt. was devestated....and with the violence moving over from memphis into bartlett, it gets progressively worse. he knows he can talk to me anytime he needs to though.

 

[tavia'smom]

I am glad you worked things out if he gets out of line again tell him your friend in Kentucky has a rolling pin specifically for grumpy men.

But in all honesty if you can talk things out like you two did then you will do well. Hope he gets in a better mood maybe with his vacation he will get to feeling better.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

I am glad you worked things out if he gets out of line again tell him your friend in Kentucky has a rolling pin specifically for grumpy men.

But in all honesty if you can talk things out like you two did then you will do well. Hope he gets in a better mood maybe with his vacation he will get to feeling better.

he just got home from work a minute ago- seems to be in a much better mood- so that's good

hehe and thanks for the rolling pin off- i'll definitely keep that in mind

it's tradition in my family to give the new wives a rolling pin when they get married

 

[natalie_ca]

It sounds to me like this isn't about the dogs. Something else is bothering him and he's using that as an exuse.

Some senarios:

1. He's upset that you aren't contributing as much financially as he feels you should;

2. He is getting cold feet and is feeling crowded now that you are living together officially;

3. He could be having financial problems and doesn't want to tell you about it.

Those are just three that come to my mind. There are others.

Instead of stewing and being angry, sit down and ask him if this is really about the dogs? Chances are it isn't.

 

[wookie130]

Yeah, this really may be about something he's not entirely in touch with yet himself, or something he's not able to talk about at this moment. Either way, these issues always come out in someone's behavior.

I say, give him some space, and just let him know that you're here for him when he's ready to talk about it. He needs to FEEL that there are few things that you and he can't handle together.

I dated a cop way back when...he was a complete and total jerk who was so far out of touch with his feelings, that I ended up pulling out of the relationship. Looking back on it, I now realize the enormous amount of stress and responsibility he was facing each day he went to work. And the pressure of truly wanting to make a difference, and yet feeling hopeless for so many situations that he was dealing with in the community.

Sounds like money is sort of an issue in your situation. I know you just started your new job...but is there any additional work you could pick up on the side to further supplement your income? Perhaps a weekend gig, or a couple of nights a week?

Good luck, and I'm so glad to hear that things are a bit better. Living with someone changes the entire landscape of a relationship, doesn't it? Throughout all of the tough times and challenges, it can be so worth it, however.

 

[arcadian girl]

I'm glad things have been worked out a bit

My guess too, is that he's dealing with something from work that he doesn't want to burden you with. It could be that the suicide of his cop friend is just now getting to him - a lot of people go through a few months of denial when someone dies, and then it all of a sudden just hits them - and the people around them are baffled, cos they can see no immediate cause for it - but it's just the delayed grief coming out. Or it could be some other case from work.. or like someone mentioned, the reality of you two living together now, the responsibility - of having to always care for the dogs, ect - is making him realize he's not a single guy with a carefree life anymore - he has these responsibilities, and it may just be wigging him out a bit.

At any rate, you usually sound really happy with him, so I hope you are able to work it out together

I'm glad you stood your ground, btw.

 

[larussa]

Hi, I don't know you very well so don't know if your married to this guy or not. Whatever tho, I would stay home with the doggies and tell him to go alone. Enjoy your six days off just relaxing and going out with the girls and taking care of your sweet dogs. That's what I would do, teach him a lesson, when you have animals you have to treat them as part of the family, if he doesn't agree with this, he shouldn't have pets. I even hate to call them pets since they are more like our kids. My condolences for the doggie who crossed the Bridge.

 

[miagi's_mommy]

I am glad things are getting better between you two, Nikki.

and I hope things continue to improve and I am glad he is letting the dogs stay inside while you guys are gone. have a safe and fun trip!

 

[hilda>^..^<]

Nikki...its good to hear that you & Colin are communicating about all this...its so much worse when you don't. As so many others here are saying, it sure seems as though he's under alot of pressure with work...suicide, the death of the little girl (I remember your thread about her)...just everything that it takes to be a cop. My niece's hubby is a cop...and a good one too, like your Colin...they too have problems...I guess its just hard being not only a cop but also, loving a cop. I'm really glad things have worked out that you'll be able to go along with him and that your sweeties will be well cared for. After all that's happened, I think it would just have made things that much worse if he'd gone and you'd stayed. This way, you can be there with him and gently let him know how much you love him and support him with his job...hopefully he will understand and do the same for you. You guys have been so sweet together from the posts I've read since I joined in January of this year...but all relationships can have snags in them...you just have to care enough about one another to work them out and come to an agreement or compromise...if you truly care, then it is worth it. There's a lyric quote that I love using in times like this, from a couple of my fav writers...Lennon & McCartney...

...life is very short, and there's no time for fussing & fighting my friend. I have always thought that its a crime. So I will ask you once again, try to see my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. Why just see it your way? run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone. We can work it out....we can work it out....

Good luck Nikki...
Hilda>^..^<

 

[wookie130]

I love that song, Hilda! The Beatles rule!!!

 

[hilda>^..^<]

Originally Posted by wookie130

I love that song, Hilda! The Beatles rule!!!

In my opinion, some of the best lyrics & music ever...

Hilda>^..^<