I am a newbie and need help with aggressive kitten

[mamakat12]

I have two 5 month old kittens, both female who I have had since they were 6 weeks old. One of them is a bit aggressive and attacks her sister. She seems to want to be the only one sitting on my lap or laying on the bed with me.  When the aggressive one jumps up, the other one seems to freak out and takes off.  They cuddle sometimes as well, but I want both to feel comfortable at all times.  When we feed them, one of them will not eat all of her food at once, but the aggressive kitty will eat hers after the other one leaves.  My husband said one of them had scratch marks from the aggressive one.  They have not been spayed yet, but how can I control the aggressive one so she learns to share?  This is becoming stressful.  Please help.  I don't want to lose my babies.

 

[yayi]

The spaying will help calm them a bit. I have cats as old as yours and they rough play a lot. Scratch marks sometimes happen. One of mine also eats very fast and will steal her sister's food if I am not looking. At least yours waits until the other one leaves. I think your babies are comfortable all the time. One is just more playful and active than the other one. 

 

[mamakat12]

Thank you for your response. My girl, Veronika, the alpha, loves me and I love her too.  Sometimes she gets jealous when her sister gets near me.  I make sure to pet the other one too.  Her sister sometimes acts likes she is scared of Veronika and I don't want her to be.

 

[minpin85]

First of all, if they arent fixed get them fixed as soon as you are able to. That really helps calm cats down. There are a number of things you can try but first you have to figure out why this behavior is happening. Cats are usually misunderstood. Do you have any high cat trees? Or shelves? If not, get some. That online could help. The submissive cat could just need areas higher to retreat to in case the tension is too much. Cats like to be high so they can survey their surroundings.

I'm no expert though. You can try to hold both cats in your lap and when the aggressive one is calm give her a treat, but if she even starts hissing, put her down and ignore her for a few minutes.

There are a few books I recommend you read. You an prob find them at your library, or half priced books store. Www.Hpb.com

Cat Vs. Cat: Keeping Peace When You Have More Than One Cat
By Pam Johnson-Bennett

Think Like a Cat: How to Raise a Well-Adjusted Cat--Not a Sour Puss
By Pam Johnson-Bennett

And check out this website http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/

 

[flintmccullough]

This-is-happening,because,they-both-need-to-be-spayed,they-are-old-enough-now.If-you-had-mares,you-would-understand,lol.

You-also-need-to-sched-feed-them,and-feed-them-in-their-carriers,or-in-seperate-rooms.

The-aggressive-one,is-a-bully,similiar-to-people,and-she-must-be-taught,this-is-not-acceptable,and-you-need-to-take-away-her-power,lol,feeding-them-seperate,is-one-power,you-are-taking-away-from-her.

As-Minpin-suggested,get-some-cat-trees-and-get-or-make-shelfs,that-the-submissive-one-can-get-to,kitties-like-to-be-up-high.

Kittens-come-into-my-household,at-8-weeks-old,they-are-kept-seperate-for-3-weeks,then-let-out,supervised,for-another-3-weeks,until,and-there-is-always-one,lol,that-learns,no-picking-on-kittens,what-I-do,always-works,I-cannot-have-a-kitten-killed-or-injured,by-one-of-the-adult-kitties,and-its-just-an-extension,of-them-learning-proper-behavior,and-manners.

A-few-years-ago,one-of-the-big-boys,thought-little-kittens-were-toys,that-moved-by-theirselfs,that-his-mommy-got,just-for-him,lol.

He-already-knew-what-the-spray-bottle-was,and-he-knew,the-word-"no"and-the-words,after-that,were-specific,to-the-situation,and-he-knew-what-"baddy-boy-stuff"-meant,and-it-weren't-good,lol.

I-said,in-a-loud-and-stern-voice,but-not-yelling,"no-picking-on-kittens,that-is-baddy-boy-stuff"-and-then-I-sprayed-him,until,he-let-go-of-the-kittens.

It-only-took-him-a-few-days-to-learn,that-"no-picking-on-kittens,that-is-baddy-boy-stuff"was-immed-followed-by-the-spray-bottle.

When-he-had-a-memory-lapse,lol,all-I-had-to-do,was-say-the-words,and-show-him-the-spray-bottle,lol,and-he-let-go-of-the-kittens,lol.After-a-few-more-days,he-gave-up,he-knew.

How-ironic,he-and-those-kittens,became-the-best-of-buds,they-loved-him-and-hung-on-him,and-he-was-their-big-brother.

But-he,as-a-kitten,had-the-basic-training-too,already-instilled-in-him,he-knew-words,and-what-they-meant.

When-those-kittens-starting-climbing-the-screens,I-said-"no-climbing-screens"and-squirted-them-until-they-got-down,after-a-few-days,all-I-had-to-do,was-say-the-words,they-got-down,few-more-days,they-quit-doing-it.

Its-just-being-consistent,and-patient,using-the-same-words,to-fit-the-situation.

When-the-aggressive-one-starts-picking-on-her-sister,say-"no-picking-on-(what-her-name-is)-in-a-loud-and-stern-voice,then-squirt-her,until-she-stops,don't-chase-her,just-stop,when-she-stops.

Just-remember,it-doesn't-happen-overnight,it-takes-time-and-patience,and-knowing,neither-of-them-has-had-any-training,and-using-the-same-words.

Get-them-spayed,get-the-cat-trees,and-teach-the-bully,that-is-not-acceptable.Best-of-luck.

 

[mamakat12]

Thank you.  I'm going to call right now and schedule an appointment to get them spayed.  I do have a tree for them.  Will need another since they are getting big.  They have figured out how to jump up the counters and the armoire which is pretty high.

I need the spray bottle... I should have got it sooner but I guess I've been too soft.

 

[mamakat12]

Thank you Minpin85 for the book suggestions.  I will definitely check them out.

 

[melanie cartel]

i heard that it could be a cause of being taken away at young age because the mother teaches the kittens what type of play is to ruff.. 

 

[mamakat12]

They were actually abandoned by the mother.  I have had them since they were 6 weeks old.  I heard that was the cause.  I guess I need to do a better job and train my girl to play nice and share.

 

[melanie cartel]

5 month old kitten is aggressive towards my older cat and even myself..i have given her a separate room with all her own stuff safe places for her to hide as well what is the best way to get them to be civil will it just take time? its only been a few days she's improved with us but not my male he is fixed she is getting fixed asap looking for tips and advice on how to help them both integrate as happily as possible

 

[smitten4kittens]

MamaKat, I wouldn't use a spray bottle. It could teach your kitten to be afraid of you instead of playing nice. Then you will have 2 problems to deal with.

This behaviour could be because they didn't learn nice cat manners from mom because they were away from her early. Both of my cats were strays without their mothers very early too, and they get along great, so don't let that fact discourage you. I think getting them spayed will be a big help. I would do it asap.

Hope all is well soon.

 

[smitten4kittens]

Hi Melanie. There are lots of threads on here about new cat introductions. If you type that into the search bar up top you should find lots of results to read while you"re waiting for responses. I also think things will be a lot better after she is fixed.

Good luck.

 

[melanie cartel]

Thank you

 

[flintmccullough]

Mine-are-show-kittens-and-show-cats.They-are-very-well-behaved-at-shows,and-accept,anything,that-happens,around-them.They-came-from-a-loving-home,and-are-extensivley-handled,until-they-go-to-their-new-homes,at-8-weeks.Kittens-wrassel-and-play-rough-with-each-other,and-momma-kitty,teaches-them-the-basics-of-kitty-manners,she-will-smack-them-on-their-little-heads,and-she-will-scruff-them,when-more-disaplin,per-say,is-needed.Ever-seen-a-kitten-scruffed-by-a-momma-kitty......the-kitten-will-go-limp.Momma-kitty-has-started-the-basic-training,momma-and-daddy-humans,have-to-continue-that-training.

Its-no-different,than-you-or-I-being-taught-responsibility,manners,and-book-learning,as-young-children.Your-parents-and-teachers-taught-you.Ever-been-put-on-detention,sent-to-your-room,told-no-TV-for-a-week,its-the-same-principal.

The-spray-bottle-is-just-a-tool,its-a-non-physical-tool,and-just-as-any-tool,does-its-job,when-used-properly.Not-teaching-kittens,what-is-proper-behavior,what-is-expected,what-is-not-tolerated,shows-up-in-here,as-people-needing-help,with-behavior-issues.

On-a-very-rare-occassion,show-people-will-scruff,but-that-is-used-by-professionals,that-know,how-to-do-it,and-when-to-do-it.

Scruffing-puts-the-cat-into-instant-submission,as-they-learned-from-the-momma-kitty,and-is-reserved-for-a-dangerous-situation.

My-kittens-and-cats-are-not-afraid-of-me,lol,they-follow-me-around-and-hang-on-me.They-are-highly-trained-show-kittens-and-cats,they-are-very-well-behaved,in-what-ever-situation-they-are-put-into,show,vet,going-for-a-ride,being-handled,bath,blow-dry,loading,and-being-taught-to-load,is-what-saved-the-kittens-life,fire-at-their-first-show-hotel.