husband is mean to my cats

[jenniferd]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

We're getting pretty far off-topic here. Our concern should be for the cats and help with some advice on what to do for the cats, not her marriage or her relationship with her husband.

It's very easy to sit back and be an arm-chair critic of others if we don't have to walk in their shoes. The OP didn't ask for advice on her marriage so let's get back to the cats, please.

Well, if this man abuses the cats, the best thing for the cats would be to rehome them, IMO. Cats should not be kicked and thrown-I think that much is obvious. Apparently the cats are also un-fixed, they don't have any shots, and the husband would not buy premium food for them. I think most would agree this does not sound like a good environment for these cats. The best thing for the cats, IMO, would be for OP to somehow try to find a new home for them.
Some of these cats behavior the husband does not like could very well be because they are not spayed.

 

[iluvdevons]

This thread is heartbreaking. Please please please rehome your kitties! I know it is a hard thing to do but it is the right thing to do. Please show your love and compassion for your animals by doing this. They deserve a better quality of life where they are not in fear of being beaten.

 

[brandi]

"He on the other hand treats them like they are kids who did wrong and he really thinks they know better and that they just try to push his buttons (whatever)."


If any man treated a child like that hitting and kicking the child Id divorce him in a second regardless of how much I "loved" him...and being a true animal lover myself also a member of PETA I could never be with anyone who didnt love animals like I do...people who treat animals like that will soon turn on people when the animals are gone...as you said he treats them like they are kids...you have a kid so seeing what he does to your animals is how he will treat your child....That being said I agree with everyone else who has posted in this thread you NEED to rehome your cats immediately!!! Then work on your relationship if you want to salvage it.

 

[Moz]

Originally Posted by Brokenheart

Number 1: GET THOSE POOR CATS OUT OF THERE.

That's a no-brainer. Their lives are in danger.

You love them, right? Then you need to protect them. If you don't protect them, then you can't really love them; your actions don't support the notion of love if you're just standing by and letting them be abused.

Get them out of there.

Sorry if I'm being rude, but this makes me so angry. This guy's a monster, and he's got two little helpless beings at his whim. Please stop abetting him by doing nothing. The first thing I thought when reading the carrier story was, that's like a nazi.

Don't romanticize it - they're not going to pine away for you if being with you means getting abused. Get 'em out of there.

Please get them out today. And don't get any more pets unless you're not with him any more.

If you will do nothing else, tell him you will call the cops. There are laws against what he's doing. Then if he does it again, follow through - call the cops and the ASPCA cops. Take pictures while he's doing it for evidence and so that he knows it's not going to be his "secret" any more.

Sorry, but this just makes me furious. Get those poor cats away from that abuser.

Forget reasoning with him at this point. You wouldn't argue with a fire, right? You just do what needs to be done to keep the living creatures safe. For God's sake, at least get between him and the cats when he's abusing them, so he has to get through you to get to them.

I know I'm being harsh but this makes me sick.

I'm steaming mad just reading this

I'd leave him in a millisecond. Who's next, you, the baby? This man is a sick monster from what I've read.

 

[mom of 4]

X7, I'm worried about you, your child and your cats. What you are describing is the classic abuser. They start with animals and move onto people - that is you and your child. You must get your animals, your child and yourself out of this situation now. Without counseling, and a strong desire to change from your husband, this is not going to get better.

Don't believe me? Google "signs of an abuser" or "domestic violence and cruelty to animals."

I have family in your town - I even use to live there. There are resources for you and there is help available - it only requires you to reach out and let someone know. You, your child and your animals deserve more. You've made the first step by asking for help on this board. The next step is to contact the city or county. I promise you that they take this very seriously and will help you get away. The hardest part is going to be staying away until he gets help and actually changes or staying away.

 

[asecretk]

As I read your posts it sounds like to me that he resents having responsibilities and is having a hard time dealing with it.

The cats, the child and you. He is not handling it well. Instead of hitting you or the child he is taking out his frustations on the poor cats. He is venting and it shows in abuse.

He needs to lash out at something and the cats are the smallest and easiest targets. He does not love them as you do, or love then at all for that matter, so it is easy to single them out.

If you had no pets it would be a window, a door, a wall until he loses control and it becomes you, your child or both.

I think his sudden concern of the re-homing of the cats is because then he knows he does not have a frustration outlet. You are removing his target and the only things left are you and his child.

The plain fact is the man needs someone to speak to him about his behavior. Can you speak with his father about his temper and that you are not only afraid for the cats but his temper has raised the bar enough that you are also frightened.

 

[callista]

It's possible to change, though. He can change... I think the kindest thing you can do for him is to make the point that things can't go on this way--that if he doesn't learn to control his anger, you won't feel safe with him. He isn't hitting humans yet, and that means it's early in the cycle. He's not set in his ways nearly as much as he would be if he'd started hurting a human; and that's a good sign. It means that if he gets help, he can still change. Maybe it will take you moving out and/or finding a new home for the cats to get him to see this is serious... maybe he'll go to counseling if you just say, "I'm worried about you; the way you treat the cats shows me you're dealing with a lot of anger, and having a hard time." I don't know how serious this problem is right now; all I know is, it could get serious in the future--easily. He could kill a cat; he could start hurting humans. He needs to get help now before anything like that happens.

 

[katiemae1277]

As the OP has not been back to comment on this thread and all posts seem to be reiterating the same sentiment, I am closing this thread.