Hurt feelings.. gotta love FB (long)

[lauren_miller]

So I post a lot of pics of my kitties on Facebook. As a kid, I didn't have many friends. I was adopted into a family full of crazy people. My parents never made me feel special. Everything else was more important than me. I was extremely abused, emotionally and physically by my adoptive parents. My whole life animals have been a huge part of my life. My pets were always there for me. They didn't hurt me like my parents did.

My pets are my kids. I don't have real life friends and no family except my husband and his parents. A lot of people post pics on FB of going out with their friends and family or pics of their kids. I post pics of my pets and recently someone on FB commented on one of my cat photos that I'm obsessed with my cats and they are very afraid for my future human children since I am so obsessed with my animals. It was an extremely negative comment and it really hurt my feelings.

Here is what I replied:
I'm not crazy, it's just that they are all I have. No human family other than my in-laws and husband. My family has four legs and they are covered in fur. The cats and Berry are all I have. Some people post tons of pics of their kids, or going out with friends.. My pets are my kids and I don't have friends to go out with.


She replied she was just joking.

Sometimes I really hate Facebook.

 

[trouts mom]

Sometimes non-pet people just don't understand us crazy cat ladies

Don't take it to heart though, we know you are wonderful

 

[snake_lady]

Are you sure she wasn't joking? Some of my FB friends say similiar things about my snakes or kitties, only they say I love my critters more since I post more pics of my critters than my kids

I really try to focus on the lack of emotion on Facebook, or any text for that matter. Its very hard to tell if someone is serious or not.

If she was serious, I would be upset too and I'm sorry.....

 

[bluerexbear]

Ah, that's okay...don't take it to heart. Some people truly don't get it.

Besides...my ex husband un-friended me on facebook today because I chose to remind him that he has a child (our son) after he posted something about not wanting kids. GRRRR. FB is definitely not always a good thing.

 

[lauren_miller]

She was serious. She's just like that. She used to say mean things like that all the time when we worked together in Cali. She says she's joking to get out of feeling bad about what she said.

I'm trying not to get to upset. I am just really sensitive lately.

BlueRexBear ~ I'm really sorry about your ex. That sucks!

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by lauren_miller

She was serious. She's just like that. She used to say mean things like that all the time when we worked together in Cali. She says she's joking to get out of feeling bad about what she said.

I'm trying not to get to upset. I am just really sensitive lately.

BlueRexBear ~ I'm really sorry about your ex. That sucks!

oh ugggggggggggg. I'm sorry. She would be on my "to be removed" list from friends if she's a mean person like that and deliberately insulting to you.

For the record, I don't think you're being overly sensitive, I'd be upset too. Mean ppl suck.

 

[carolina]

Oh honey, I am so sorry

I know it hurts... It is true, some people just don't get it.... and our babies mean so much to us, how can we take that lightly right? I know the times I've been there I wasn't able to...
I would, however block her so she has no longer access to your page and can no longer post insensitive comments... I truly believe that people like that, unless we love them deeply and have something else to add to our lives, are better to be kept away from us for good. There is no sense in wasting time and emotions with them.
You know well I am a true cat lady - I mean, my cats have a web page..... and they talk!

They are all over Face book, they have they own email accounts with their own signatures and everything

Wanna talk about the comments I get sometimes from people? For a while, when I was unemployed, my dad got close to refusing sending help over because he said it would go for cat food/vet bills, and not for my personal needs. It took me having a long and serious conversation with him to make it clear that these are MY CHILDREN. It told him that my sister and my brothers have skin children, and I have made a conscious choice to have fur kids instead - but that doesn't make them any less loved or important then his other grandchildren, at least for me. Heck, seriously, if one of them needs a piece of my kidney, guess if I am donating or not? If that was possible to save their lives, I absolutely would. So, I told my dad, better accept it, because if you don't send help, they won't eat, but I won't either.
And that's is how I deal with it.... I don't give explanations... I just tell them as it is... a FACT. They are my children, it is a choice I made, and I am proud of it. Furthermore, if a person doesn't pay my rent or my bills, this person has no right to say a peep about my choices. In my occasion, my dad had, as he was paying my rent

 

[ut0pia]

I'm so sorry, I understand why you were hurt

To be honest I think that person was out of line, some people are so evil that it makes them happy to hurt someone, and it sounds like that's the case. A lot of people are just so negative that when they see how important something is to you, they will try to do anything possible to put you down and make you unhappy, because they can't stand seeing you happy, and seeing that you have things in your life that make you happy, like you do with your kitties..
It sux to be a victim of someone like that, but all you can do is take the higher ground and ignore the person...
If I were you I would block her from FB, that's just me though...

 

[rubsluts'mommy]

Originally Posted by lauren_miller

She was serious. She's just like that. She used to say mean things like that all the time when we worked together in Cali. She says she's joking to get out of feeling bad about what she said.

I'm trying not to get to upset. I am just really sensitive lately.

My sister is that way. And she has a cat. I totally understand about how you feel about it.

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

oh ugggggggggggg. I'm sorry. She would be on my "to be removed" list from friends if she's a mean person like that and deliberately insulting to you.

For the record, I don't think you're being overly sensitive, I'd be upset too. Mean ppl suck.

I second that. I haven't unfriended my sister... because, well, she is my sister, not matter how much she makes me sick. I have, however, banned her from seeing my wall posts. Yes, you can do that. And I'm all the happier for having her blocked from my wall posts.

Amanda

 

[northernglow]

I also post mostly pics of my cats because I don't have kids and my "hanging out with friends"-pics are available to only those who are in the pics themselves. I would have been upset too if someone would have commented something like that.
I actually got a bit offended when an old friend from school wrote "All of your cats have horrendously big eyes.".. It was the only thing she had commented on my pics. I just replied "the better to see you with..". I don't know why I even found it offensive, it is true after all. Maybe it was the blunt tone it was written with..

 

[calvin&i]

Oh, people can be so insensitive- totally unacceptable. Do use security settings to limit this person's access to your FB.
My parents have never had pets or let us have any and they think having pets would mean you have a smelly, messy, dirty house.

When we adopted Calvin, my dad (a diplomatic man) emailed and called. My mother was unhappy and told me that I should concentrate on having children (knowing full well that we have so far failed in that regard even with medical intervention). Then they saw pics and showed a lot of interest And talk affectionately about him. We knew that telling them about Hobbes would not go down well - especially to them that would account as being "abnormal" and so we waited about 10 days. My mother was really angry. She feels I am compensating for not having children. And what really hurt me is that she told me that my father has expressed that he will not visit me since I have a cat (that was when they knew only about Calvin and our plans to get a dog in the future) and then mom went on to say that now with 2 cats there is just no way my dad can be cconvinced to visit us (they live in a different country). I was complaining to my sister, and it seems that my dad told her too they he won't visit me. It hurts.

 

[rad65]

Non-cat people have such a hard time figuring out why we love our babies since cats are "boring, aloof and needy" compared to dogs. These same people don't complain when their kids are boring, aloof (teenagers anyone?) and needy (from T-minus nine months all the way through year eighteen and beyond). I think this person was joking and didn't realize what was said was hurtful. Someone who doesn't deal with cats and their issues doesn't realize how upsetting it is to basically be likened to some of these animal hoarding people we frequently hear about on TCS by using words like obsessed. I would be upset too; Memphis and Tails are by far the most important things (I hate using the word things, but in this context everything else sounded weird) in my life, but I wouldn't say I'm obsessed. I just don't have close humans at this point in my life. Should I forego all companionship lest I appear obsessive?

 

[lauren_miller]

Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better knowing I have everyone's support and I'm glad you all think that I'm not over reacting. I used to work with her in Calif and she used to say things like, "you shouldn't put your keys in your pocket, it makes your legs look funny".

I don't know why I have her on my FB page. I really don't. She was like a sister to me for a long time, I guess I hold onto people since I don't have family. I've blocked her from seeing my posts/pictures. I really appreciate everyone here so much!

 

[quietlydestroyd]

I really do know how you feel. And I think people can be extremely cruel, that person should never had said anything. I never understood why people just can't skim over things they don't like and keep quiet.

I, myself, can't have children. So, I have cats. Almost everyone on facebook doesn't understand that I can love and worry about felines as much as others do with their children. They are OUR children.

I went as far as to list my cats where you can put family members and made sure to write down (cat) next to their names, and there were instantly posts about how there's "catbook" for that, and it's stupid.

But I say if people can't accept you, cat person and all, they don't deserve to be on your friends list to begin with.

 

[my4llma]

I'm not on FB I don't know anything about FB but is there a way you can block this person from ever commenting again? If there is do it. Doesn't sound like this person is worth knowing.

 

[bmw kitty cat]

Aww Lauren dont feel bad! I have 2 full albums just of my cats. People don't understand how wonderful cats truly are! I love them as if they were my children too. Don't let comments like those hurt your feelings!

 

[kailie]

I too know exactly how you feel sweetie! I have tons and tons of pics of my kids on FB, in fact, the name of the album is "The Kids". I get comments all the time, but MOST people are just joking. Those who aren't are deleted. I don't need people like that in my life, and neither do you.

 

[wellingtoncats]

I reached breaking point today too with the "Oh you have how many cats?" "Just 7" "hahaha just 7 OMG". UM OMG I wanna punch your lights out!!!!!

Sorry! They are my kids and it is so frustrating so I'm another one who knows how you feel

 

[rosiemac]

I'm always posting pictures up of the kids on my FB wall, but the minute anyone says anything sarcastic about them they'll be removed and blocked

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by lauren_miller

She was serious. She's just like that. She used to say mean things like that all the time when we worked together in Cali. She says she's joking to get out of feeling bad about what she said.

You can control who gets into your FB friends list. So why is she in it if she has such a negative history with you? Remove her as a friend and be done with it.