Hi everyone,
I haven't been active here in a while, but pop in to read frequently. Some things have happened in my life the last month and I need input on a situation I find myself in now.
I am the only surviving child of aging parents. A month ago my mom, 82, suffered a compression fracture to her back. She was scheduled for an outpatient surgery to repair the bone but before that could happen, she had some electrolyte problems with her blood, and seems to have had a small stroke. She's been in the hospital or skilled nursing home for the last 19 days.
My father had dementia, heart disease, 2 types of cancer, and arthritis, as well as mental illness, mostly PTSD from growing up in Nazi Germany. He also was an abusive man. His behavior became more erratic as Mom's problems worsened and he had enough and took his own life last Wednesday night. He was almost 86.
My parents had acquired a 6 month old Boston Terrier puppy almost a year ago. I urged them not to adopt her, as it seemed a terrible choice for a very old couple who would almost certainly die before her. I made it plain that I did not want more dogs after my two (now 12) pass. Still, they adopted Betsy, and it went pretty well for them, until now. Betsy was in the house when my father passed and was traumatized.
Betsy moved in with us last Friday. She is a small Boston, about 14 pounds and is spayed/vetted. I already have 2 12 year old 30 pound mutts, which I mentioned, and 3 cats. The dogs take Prozac daily due to some pretty intense female to female aggression that occurs maybe once or twice a year. I worry about adding another female to the mix.
Betsy also came here largely untrained. She is housetrained, and quickly learned to use the flap to go in and out of the house. She's learning not to door dive, has learned simple commands to sit and stay, is doing better with leash walking (my 16 year old is in charge of that), rides well in the car and sleeps downstairs with the "pack" at night.
My mom is still of the opinion she will get well, and be able to take full charge of Betsy in an assisted living apartment or other situation. I don't see that happening as she cannot walk her on a leash and Betsy is just a very active dog. It would be a hazard. In any case, it's very clear that Betsy will outlive my mom. In addition, taking Betsy to visit mom in the skilled nursing facility shows me that Betsy was clearly bonded to my father, not my mother, as she is not receptive to any of my mom's overtures.
I am stuck trying to decide whether or not to just contact the Boston Rescue I found, place her with one of the vet techs who is interested in adopting her, or keeping her myself. I still feel that I don't want more dogs. I will be nearly 70 by the time Betsy passes. On the other hand, I know I could do a really good job with her, and she'd settle in with some more training and time. I am aware that it would be traumatizing to her--AGAIN--to be moved, yet I also know that young dogs are adaptable--to a point.
My 16 year old daughter likes Betsy very much, and my dh seems smitten as well. I find I have a wall up around my heart--probably because I have the enormous load of loss of my father, the estate worries, the uncertain health of my mom, making decisions faster than I can process them---well, I'm just overwhelmed.
Can anyone offer me any advice or input? Has anyone ever had an "unplanned pet" and felt similar? How did you resolve things?
Thanks for reading.
C
I haven't been active here in a while, but pop in to read frequently. Some things have happened in my life the last month and I need input on a situation I find myself in now.
I am the only surviving child of aging parents. A month ago my mom, 82, suffered a compression fracture to her back. She was scheduled for an outpatient surgery to repair the bone but before that could happen, she had some electrolyte problems with her blood, and seems to have had a small stroke. She's been in the hospital or skilled nursing home for the last 19 days.
My father had dementia, heart disease, 2 types of cancer, and arthritis, as well as mental illness, mostly PTSD from growing up in Nazi Germany. He also was an abusive man. His behavior became more erratic as Mom's problems worsened and he had enough and took his own life last Wednesday night. He was almost 86.
My parents had acquired a 6 month old Boston Terrier puppy almost a year ago. I urged them not to adopt her, as it seemed a terrible choice for a very old couple who would almost certainly die before her. I made it plain that I did not want more dogs after my two (now 12) pass. Still, they adopted Betsy, and it went pretty well for them, until now. Betsy was in the house when my father passed and was traumatized.
Betsy moved in with us last Friday. She is a small Boston, about 14 pounds and is spayed/vetted. I already have 2 12 year old 30 pound mutts, which I mentioned, and 3 cats. The dogs take Prozac daily due to some pretty intense female to female aggression that occurs maybe once or twice a year. I worry about adding another female to the mix.
Betsy also came here largely untrained. She is housetrained, and quickly learned to use the flap to go in and out of the house. She's learning not to door dive, has learned simple commands to sit and stay, is doing better with leash walking (my 16 year old is in charge of that), rides well in the car and sleeps downstairs with the "pack" at night.
My mom is still of the opinion she will get well, and be able to take full charge of Betsy in an assisted living apartment or other situation. I don't see that happening as she cannot walk her on a leash and Betsy is just a very active dog. It would be a hazard. In any case, it's very clear that Betsy will outlive my mom. In addition, taking Betsy to visit mom in the skilled nursing facility shows me that Betsy was clearly bonded to my father, not my mother, as she is not receptive to any of my mom's overtures.
I am stuck trying to decide whether or not to just contact the Boston Rescue I found, place her with one of the vet techs who is interested in adopting her, or keeping her myself. I still feel that I don't want more dogs. I will be nearly 70 by the time Betsy passes. On the other hand, I know I could do a really good job with her, and she'd settle in with some more training and time. I am aware that it would be traumatizing to her--AGAIN--to be moved, yet I also know that young dogs are adaptable--to a point.
My 16 year old daughter likes Betsy very much, and my dh seems smitten as well. I find I have a wall up around my heart--probably because I have the enormous load of loss of my father, the estate worries, the uncertain health of my mom, making decisions faster than I can process them---well, I'm just overwhelmed.
Can anyone offer me any advice or input? Has anyone ever had an "unplanned pet" and felt similar? How did you resolve things?
Thanks for reading.
C