How To Train Your Cat To Stop Meowing For Attention?

[Adnie]

Ok, so we recently had our inlaws stay at our house for about 2 years, they loved our cat and spoilt her rotten. They have since gone but have left our cat thinking that meowing will get her whatever she wants.

While I am pretty strict with my pets and am always the 'leader', she has picked up this VERY annoying habit and I cant seem to break it.

It has gotten to the point where she will wake me up several times a night meowing for food or to be let out etc. She will meow at me when im getting ready in the bathroom, or watching TV or making dinner. This never happened before the inlaws came to stay and I knew her cues for food/toilet really well without her having to carry on.

So I figured I would train her like I do dogs, find what she really loves and wait for the behaviour that I want and then give it to her. In her case she LOVES to be brushed. So I will sit down with her several times a day in different locations around the house and go to brush her, if she meows I respond with a no and take the brush away, if she is quiet I will brush her. This seems to work, but only when I brush her, she still meows for attention everywhere else and the word no seems to mean nothing to her.

I never give her any attention when she is meowing at me and at night when she jumps up on the bed and meows I will push her off. But shes just not getting it.

She is quite a stressy cat and can tell when I get frustrated with her. She used to urinate on my clothes and in my cupboard a lot but she hasnt done this in a long time. I dont want to stress her out to the point where she will start this again.

I am in desperate need of help, my sleep is quite precious to me and I cant go on like this much longer!

I hope someone has some suggestions on how I can help her get the picture that meowing wont get her what she wants.

 

[molly92]

One word: ignore. Ignore like you've never ignored something before in your life. When you're asleep and she meows and you so much as move a finger, she thinks, "Oh I'm getting there, I just have to meow MORE." Pushing her off is still giving her attention. When cats are persistent about something, they'll take almost anything to be a sign of progress.

You have to have more persistence than the cat. Which is really really hard, because cats can be the most insistent and persistent animals on the planet, but it is possible! You just need to have iron clad force of will and stick to it.

It may take weeks of feigning perfect stillness in bed, of not twitching or looking anywhere near her when she's stalking you around the house. Remember, saying the word "no" is still acknowledgement of the behavior, confirmation that the meowing is having some effect. You have to convince her that her meowing has no effect on you at all, and eventually, (and it still might take a while), she'll decide it's not worth the effort.

It takes a lot of concentration to ignore absolutely everything, so I'll admit I haven't perfected it with my cat. But I did stick to it where it was most important to me: while I'm sleeping. So I really committed to not reacting at all when she tried to wake me up at night. Now, not every cat has this train of thought, but Delilah really wanted me to get her food, so when she realized meowing was not working she tried biting my face. But I'm also a really heavy sleeper, so I managed to train myself to stay still while she was nipping at my cheeks, and after that, she was out of ideas, so now she just waits impatiently staring at me silently until I do actually wake up at a normal hour.

 

[Furballsmom]

So, one thing, what about leaving some food out overnight? I guess I'm wondering if some clicker training might work in some way... Also, it's possible you will need to set up a litter box so she doesn't need to be let out.

 

[Adnie]

Thanks for the replies, I have tried ignoring but saw no change after weeks of doing it, I guess her persistence was a lot stronger than mine! She is a very smart cat, I have taught her to sit, beg and wait before eating food, but teaching her to not be so whingy is driving me bananas!

She has food overnight, I always fill her bowl when I have dinner, she is never hungry believe me, and she also has a fully functioning litter box.. Like I said, she has been very spoilt with early risers letting her in and out and now she expects the same of me.. Even though she can eat and use the toilet whenever she pleases.

Very frustrating!

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, I see, Im sorry, I misunderstood. You probably realize that in addition, she is adjusting to this big change and is probably working on figuring out what's happening in her world, even though it's been weeks. I'm not saying you are, but try not to get mad at her or frustrated with her, this isn't her fault .
It will take time to undo two years worth. The more I think about it, I think it will take that factor of time more than anything else. She's such a smart baby, I agree with molly92 . And keep loving her, don't let your frustration with the early risers hurt what you have with her, you two worked out a HUGE issue with the inappropriate peeing, you'll get through this together as well. Try earplugs, (Mack's are good) cuz of course you're right about your sleep.

 

[lre17]

how about a cat flap on the door (and a computer chip in her collar so only she can come in/out)

 

[furmonster mom]

well... if one thing doesn't work, try another...

"misinterpretation" has worked for me in the past...

"meow!"
"What?"
"meow!"
"Oh... you want to go into the bathroom..." pick up cat, put in bathroom, shut the door, ignore until quiet, let out. Repeat as necessary. Eventually, kitty realizes that the dumb human thinks meowing means bathroom lockup time.

 

[Adnie]

how about a cat flap on the door (and a computer chip in her collar so only she can come in/out)

I would love to try this, but one of her favourite things to do when shes outside is to hunt for mice, and then her next favourite thing is to bring them into the house and show me and then let me have the mouse. We had to stop leaving the door open after mouse #3!

 

[Adnie]

well... if one thing doesn't work, try another...

"misinterpretation" has worked for me in the past...

"meow!"
"What?"
"meow!"
"Oh... you want to go into the bathroom..." pick up cat, put in bathroom, shut the door, ignore until quiet, let out. Repeat as necessary. Eventually, kitty realizes that the dumb human thinks meowing means bathroom lockup time.

I actually love this idea! The laundry room has her food in one corner and her litter box in the other, if I shut her in there for 15 minutes everytime she meows this may work.. Either that or just make her meow even more when shes in the laundry.. I may have to try this