How to stop thinking

[Seunie9]

It's me again , sorry cz I am simply going crazy , I posted abt losing my cat 2yo cz of pneumonia which some vet believe it's maybe due to heart failure or maybe he aspirated the 1ml antibiotic I just gave 3daya before her death , rn I am out of the country for vacation I am trying to clear my head but it's getting worse , I can't sleep , I keep thinking and thinking what if it's the spaying op but it was 14 days before her death , what if it's the med but he was fine till the day she died and the xray shows advanced pneumonia, what if what if , if I just lose my memory or anything
I can't , I will seek help after coming home but will I make it till coming home , I am so desperate

 

[Margot Lane]

I know it is hard to see your way through it now but I think it is good you are trying to clear out your head for a bit. Others have posted that you can drive yourself nuts wondering about the “what ifs,” but now you need to be there for yourself , so you can carry on for your other feline friends! Ground, anchor, breathe and repeat. And maybe, try to learn anything you can from this experience. For me one thing I always curse myself about is not always knowing what questions to ask the vet, or not being assertive enough about wanting something for them. Be strong. All we can do is to to try our best and I’m sure Lotto knew that. Whatever the cause was, I hope you find peace with it…sometimes writing it all out in a “cat diary” can be of aide.

 

[les26]

Research Holy Basil and the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, they help you adapt somewhat to the stress and the Ignatia helps with loss and acute trauma, I have used them both after loss of cats and they both really help.

I am sorry that you are struggling with this but I fully understand, I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Maria Bayote]

Oh sweetie, I am sorry that you are going through this. Please hang in there. Your beloved kitty would not want you to remain this way.

If you can please find an outlet. You can write poems, a song. You can go to a karaoke and sing your heart out. You can paint, take photos of the flowers and birds along the way -- anything that can help you unburden your heart and mind. And yes, you can cry, even scream. Cry as much as you want. Tears would not wash away the grief, but at least it could help lessen the burden in your heart.

Try not to make it so hard on you. A lot of people (and cats) still care and worry about you.

Be strong. Hold tight, and don't let go.

 

[di and bob]

I know how impossible it is to NOT have all these thoughts going through your mind, all I know is that it will drive you absolutely crazy and compound all your grieving. I learned it WILL NOT change anything, the past is set in stone. Your little one is at peace, she has your love, and nothing can break that bond between you. PLEASE try to move forward into the future by concentrating on the present. Live as you would have wanted her to go on if you were the first to go. You would not want her to suffer as you are doing right now, and neither does she. You have to concentrate on something, whether it is just taking a walk, giving your time to make another little one happy, or making a small donation to a shelter in your little girl's name, somehow you have to make yourself feel better about yourself.
Some things will never be understood, we will never change or know what happened no matter how much we want to. We always tend to blame ourselves. Your little girl could have very well contracted pneumonia by being sedated, it happens in humans a lot after surgery and would take time to build to a life-threatening state. Cats are VERY good at hiding symptoms, you would have had no idea.
She will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Ask her for her help and she will send it. She may very well send you another little one along with her blessings and love because she knows what a beautiful heart you have. Talk this out, it helps, with people who understand. Yoru love was unique, it was YOUR love. Of course, you are hurting, and you always will, only time helps with grieving, it will dull the sharp edges, and eventually, you will replace all those horrible images with your good ones, there are SO many more of those. There is no truer saying than "Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened". Concentrate on today, do something to take your mind off of all this for now, it will be there, and get through the next hour, teh next day. I promise it will get get better. For now it feels like it won't, but the sun always comes up in the morning and the world goes on. We are here for you, we have stood where you are standing right now. To feel such guilt you have to have intent, and your only intent was to love her and do what was best. She would NEVER blame you for that. Be gentle on yourself, and take one day at a time.........

 

[Seunie9]

I know how impossible it is to NOT have all these thoughts going through your mind, all I know is that it will drive you absolutely crazy and compound all your grieving. I learned it WILL NOT change anything, the past is set in stone. Your little one is at peace, she has your love, and nothing can break that bond between you. PLEASE try to move forward into the future by concentrating on the present. Live as you would have wanted her to go on if you were the first to go. You would not want her to suffer as you are doing right now, and neither does she. You have to concentrate on something, whether it is just taking a walk, giving your time to make another little one happy, or making a small donation to a shelter in your little girl's name, somehow you have to make yourself feel better about yourself.
Some things will never be understood, we will never change or know what happened no matter how much we want to. We always tend to blame ourselves. Your little girl could have very well contracted pneumonia by being sedated, it happens in humans a lot after surgery and would take time to build to a life-threatening state. Cats are VERY good at hiding symptoms, you would have had no idea.
She will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Ask her for her help and she will send it. She may very well send you another little one along with her blessings and love because she knows what a beautiful heart you have. Talk this out, it helps, with people who understand. Yoru love was unique, it was YOUR love. Of course, you are hurting, and you always will, only time helps with grieving, it will dull the sharp edges, and eventually, you will replace all those horrible images with your good ones, there are SO many more of those. There is no truer saying than "Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened". Concentrate on today, do something to take your mind off of all this for now, it will be there, and get through the next hour, teh next day. I promise it will get get better. For now it feels like it won't, but the sun always comes up in the morning and the world goes on. We are here for you, we have stood where you are standing right now. To feel such guilt you have to have intent, and your only intent was to love her and do what was best. She would NEVER blame you for that. Be gentle on yourself, and take one day at a time.........

Thank u so much , I do smile everytime I think abt the past two years and how we sleep late playing and running, she was the cutest and the smallest furball you will ever see , I begged everyone to save her but she wanted to leave us early

 

[Seunie9]

Oh sweetie, I am sorry that you are going through this. Please hang in there. Your beloved kitty would not want you to remain this way.

If you can please find an outlet. You can write poems, a song. You can go to a karaoke and sing your heart out. You can paint, take photos of the flowers and birds along the way -- anything that can help you unburden your heart and mind. And yes, you can cry, even scream. Cry as much as you want. Tears would not wash away the grief, but at least it could help lessen the burden in your heart.

Try not to make it so hard on you. A lot of people (and cats) still care and worry about you.

Be strong. Hold tight, and don't let go.

I do cry and scream , I am fine all the day then at night I miss her so much and I don't sleep , I just keep crying till there is no more tears and just sleep

 

[Maria Bayote]

I do cry and scream , I am fine all the day then at night I miss her so much and I don't sleep , I just keep crying till there is no more tears and just sleep

Find an outlet, any way to keep you from having to dwell on the sadness too much. You can talk to anyone of us. Just send us message and we are ready to reply to you. Be strong.

 

[Meowmee]

Go to the rainbow bridge pet-loss forum, there are many people there who you can talk with. Who have also been through horrific losses. Talking about it helps It helped me a lot when I lost my Wizard and Tess.

Write a journal to your babies and tell them how you feel about everything. Make sure to eat properly, and take care of yourself, walk everyday. Light a candle for your babies everyday. Ask your doc for a sleep aid or take a supplement. Try meditation if you do that. Have a memorial service for both your girls where you celebrate their lives and you can also talk about the loss.

Hugs to you.