How to pick my next cat?

[callmecatherine]

I'm so lonely because I had to put down the cat I had FOREVER. He was my baby.

I have another one that I've had half as long, but my relationship with her is so different. I can't help wanting to get another cat that I can be closer to. It needs to be a cat that is as lazy as me, lazier than she is, like my other cat was. And that will always be there to cuddle with me. It's fine if I have to bond with the new cat before that starts happening. But I'm bonded with my current cat and that's just not her personality. So I'm worried the new cat will be like that too.

So how do I find the RIGHT cat for me? I know I can never replace Oliver and what he was to me. But I need that role of cuddle-buddy filled, at least. Should I get a kitten? I had Oliver since he was a kitten and that's why we were so close, I guess, compared to me and BB. I want a cat with medium or long coat though, I think that would be extra comfy to cuddle.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi, welcome!
How is your cat handling the loss?

You're asking a lot of a new cat, and I am concerned that you're setting yourself, your resident cat and the new cat up for disappointment. Additionally, there are procedures/steps to follow that helps both cats adjust which can make things easier at the outset.

I don't know, but I think an older cat, with an established personality, could be good.

Have you spoken with a rescue? Would you consider volunteering, either short term or even long term because there are so many cats in shelters and rescues that need assistance. Not all of them want petting, but some of them do and the shelter personnel know which ones are which. Additionally fostering is another option, because again it not only could help you find the cat you're looking for, but rescues and shelters are in desperate need of both volunteers and fosters.

 

[Antonio65]

Nobody can assure you how your next cat will be. They can be extremely cuddly at the beginning, when they are very young kittens, then they grow up and their personality might slightly change, or the other way round, kitties that stay on their own as kittens, then they grow up and never leave you for a second.
If you even want to pick the coat type and color, then the chances that you'll find what you are looking for are really scant.

 

[callmecatherine]

Well, it's not necessarily a certain breed or color. I just do want a long or longish haired cat. But their personality matters more.

I guess I'm going to have to go meet some cats at shelters and go with my gut.

 

[neely]

It's hard to tell from a first meeting at a shelter what a cat's temperament will turn out to be. However, you can usually tell if the cat wants human contact. Unless you know the cat's background there's no guarantee and even then there are exceptions. Frequently it takes time and patience to get to know and understand a cat's true personality. Depending on the cat's prior history it may take longer or it may not. There are just too many variables and I think the grief of losing Oliver is weighing on your feelings. I'm sincerely sorry for his passing. For that reason, you may want to wait a bit before adopting another cat since ideally you want it to work out for both you and your present cat. Best of luck, please keep us posted.

 

[callmecatherine]

Thank you, that was really nice. <3

Another thing I'm doing besides posting here is reading about pet loss and pet grieving. One of things I just read is that I should adopt another pet when I'm ready to look forward instead of back. Right now I'm very much still looking back. So I guess I should wait a little longer. But I don't think it will be very long. My fawning is too much for BB so I at least need one more to spread out the love, I think.

 

[VAMama]

You need more time to heal. I agree with the others. There's no formula on how to guarantee what will happen with a cat.