How to persuade our cat it's safe to come home

[Albion_Inmate]

Background: We acquired Withnail about 5 years ago when he was about 6 months old, he'd been a street cat for a bit, we got him through a cat rescue centre. We got Romana about 6 months later from the same centre, and they cohabited generally fairly well given the occasional scrap.

Romana died suddenly back in January, and we've been grieving. Withnail has stepped up his game, become much more affectionate with us, and less shy of being seen to enjoy attention (he'd previously often walk away from a cuddle if anyone else walked into the room). Whether he grieved her, was sympathetic to our grief, or just saw an opportunity to enjoy being the sole cat is a matter of conjecture, we loved this new side of Withnail.

Unwisely it was therefore that we disrupted this new balance about a month ago by introducing two kittens from a litter into the house, too fast.
Withnail's response has been to leave. He's sleeping rough in a neighbour's outhouse, will come into the house via the catflap only at night or in the morning when he knows the kittens aren't around. When he does he's affectionate with us but watchful, and rarely stays for long, unless I can get him on my lap in the morning, then he might stay for an hour or two.
The situation didn't improve, and eventually we lost heart, we couldn't love the kittens unreservedly knowing Withnail had exiled himself, we felt we had gained two kittens but lost a cherished companion, and returned the kittens to their foster carer to find a new home. We just want to get Withnail back home.
We vacuumed and mopped the house, changed bedding and clothes, got rid of litter trays toys and bowls.
But still Withnail sticks to his time-share routine, comes in at night for food, but won't stay, and won't come in during the day.
This has so far gone on for about a week. We go outside, call him, and he'll come running down the street, clearly pleased to see us, doesn't remotely seem to hold a grudge, but remains aloof from the house.
My wife has carried him in a couple of times to show him the house is empty, but he's still spooked.
We're worried that this behaviour pattern will become more entrenched with time, and see a diminishing possibility of getting Withnail back. To the extent that we're now considering keeping him in for a few days to give him no alternative but to make himself at home in the house again (as we did when we first got him as a 6 month old), but I worry that this will simply alienate him and make him more aloof, not less.
Any advice would be welcome, we just want to get our cat back, we miss him, please be kind, we know we've made mistakes. Thank you.

Update: with much perseverance we largely have balance restored, Withnail is at home in most of the house, although still sometimes legs it between the bedroom and kitchen like the floor is lava, but we're 80% there, thanks all for words of advice and support

 

[rubysmama]

Happy to hear things are going well now. Thanks for the update.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

That's amazing news. I bet you are feeling relieved. Thank you so much for the update. I'm so very happy. It may have taken some time but hey it was well worth it. He has a special hooman who never gave up and that is amazing! Again thank you so much for the update.