How to get over running over a cat?? Help :(

[janet cucharo]

I know exactly how you feel.  This happened to me last year.  The cat didn't run in front of my car so I couldn't see it as I drove by.  It ran under my car as I was passing it.  It got caught in my wheels or just knocked for a loop, I don't know.  I was sick about it, but there was nothing I could do  I was late for work, I couldn't stop to help it because I had no WAY to help it!  No where to bring it!  Etc, etc.  Anyway it was so upsetting.  It wasn't my fault.  Nor was it your fault.  I drove by on my way home and it was gone, so either it was okay, just stunned and then ran away or else someone else picked it up.  I don't know.  I try not to think of it because I have to forgive myself.  You have to forgive yourself too.  That's all I can say.  We would NEVER intentionally hurt an animal.  If the fault lies with anyone it is with the owner who let it run loose.  The cat is at the rainbow bridge.  And the cat forgives you too.  PLEASE FORGIVE YOURSELF and move on.  I know how hard it is but you will get over it eventually.  We love our furbabies, too.  God bless you.  Janet

 

[felic]

I know exactly how you feel.  This happened to me last year.  The cat didn't run in front of my car so I couldn't see it as I drove by.  It ran under my car as I was passing it.  It got caught in my wheels or just knocked for a loop, I don't know.  I was sick about it, but there was nothing I could do  I was late for work, I couldn't stop to help it because I had no WAY to help it!  No where to bring it!  Etc, etc.  Anyway it was so upsetting.  It wasn't my fault.  Nor was it your fault.  I drove by on my way home and it was gone, so either it was okay, just stunned and then ran away or else someone else picked it up.  I don't know.  I try not to think of it because I have to forgive myself.  You have to forgive yourself too.  That's all I can say.  We would NEVER intentionally hurt an animal.  If the fault lies with anyone it is with the owner who let it run loose.  The cat is at the rainbow bridge.  And the cat forgives you too.  PLEASE FORGIVE YOURSELF and move on.  I know how hard it is but you will get over it eventually.  We love our furbabies, too.  God bless you.  Janet

Thanks Janet for the kind words of wisdom. Your response is very meaningful in helping me deal with this incident. I will learn to forgive myself for this..It was an accident. I love animals and I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt them..

 

[lissette]

Hi, I'm aware this is an old forum but I read posts that were very similar to my experience and I hope I get some good advice from you all.

We have feral cats in our community, 2 neighbors and myself have used TNR (Trap, neuter, release) for about 12 cats. Some have been adopted others we had to release to same area by Florida law. They are feral cats and not adoptable which means humans can't get near them. They usually only come out at night and can fend for themselves. Since we are in gated community and most of these feral cats have their little territory, we feed them and give them a name. i stayed with one so he is 15-18 hours a day inside my house (3 yrs old now). He needs to go out if not he'll meow the whole night. So I wake up at 5 AM, let him out and then he comes back at 9 am.

Some neighbor dumped a litter of kittens in front of my neighbors house because she knew she would take care of them. We neutered and spayed all of them 5 went up for adoption and 2 were released to our community on a golf course behind our houses. One of them got adopted, the other was very difficult she was too feral (aggressive). We were feeding her on the golf course until one day she appeared with my other cat one night and she never left. She weighed 4 ounces and was on the verge of dying. I gave her a name (Jazz), she went from 4 ounces to 10 lbs in 10 months. She lived under my front porch/bushes. She had a bench, little bed, water and food twice a day. She became really affectionate especially towards one of my dogs but my other female dog was so jealous and territorial that I had to lock my dog in one room every time I let Jazz in. It was an ordeal each time I let her in so it wasn't enjoyable most of the time. My condo is somewhat small, I have a pit bull (70lbs) and a lab mix 65 lbs plus my cat 17 lbs. it would have been pretty difficult to bring another animal inside.

Anyways, Jazz began to change her morning routines, I would only feed her once a day (at night). My neighbor would feed her in the AM. I have been devastated for the past 2 days. I pulled out of my driveway very slowly, i idled my car for a bit. I then turned the corner and went down block 5-10 mph, I stopped at speed bump and continued 5-10 mph. 10 meters down- I felt I went over something but it was only my right rear tire. I thought that was weird because there was nothing in front of me on the street. It felt like a piece of soft wood. I looked back in my rear view mirror and I saw Jazz flailing and crawling to the other side of the street- her rear legs were wide open like a butterfly. She moaned and looked at me- and hissed. She became very aggressive. I can't get this image out of my head. I got out the car and ran towards her shocked. One of he neighbors said you ran over the cat. I have to take her to the hospital, she lent me her carrier.

Took her to my vet located 2 min. from my house. Keep in mind I live in a gated community and I was going 5-10mph at 11 am, most residents were working. 1st- she would always sleep during the day in the bushes and I never saw her cross the street abruptly at least during the day.

take her to vet- emergency. They made me sign papers, charge me $800.00 up front. I said please do whatever it takes. I was devastated and in shock. I couldn't believe it had to be me that did this to her. The doctor said she had 3 hip fractures, paid for orthopedic surgeon to come see her for possible surgery which he said would run 3,000.00. Then they had to examine her bladder bc if it was punctured, that would be a 2nd surgery which ran about 1500.00. I was willing to do all that.

The doctor sedated her because she was so aggressive, gave her medicine and we waited for orthopedic. Off the record, the vet said- this is a young cat- you can put her in a cage for 6 weeks and she will heel (bones)but she needs to be inside a cage for 6-8 weeks -no movement. I said yes, I will do it. He said, you need to understand this is not only a financial commitment but a life commitment bc she would not be the same, she'll have a limp, etc. I was ready to do that for her. She always wanted to come in the house, this is her opportunity. If I had to lock her in a room for 2 months away from my dogs, I'd do it.

Next day, DR called with bad news, she was very lethargic and it seemed she had some brain damage, no movement in her legs, her eyes were not dilated. He mentioned all the signs of a cat that was completely paralyzed. I felt terrible, she wasn't even conscious at that point so the dr recommended euthanasia. He said there's no quality of life. You can take her to another location to get an MRI that would be $2000.00 but that's only to diagnose not to cure and you'd probably get the same thing I just told you. She lost complete control of her bowels. I had to put her to sleep. I went back to the hospital and signed the papers. I said I didn't want to see her in those conditions because I wanted to remember the way she was. The vet was honest with me, he said fractured bones is nothing, we can fix that but neurological problems- we can't. I know this hospital is very good because this is where i have brought my cat and 2 dogs.

I have been asking myself over and over, what did I do wrong? I was driving slowly, Was she sleeping inside my car and hung to it for 2 blocks including 1 speed bump. My husband said she was very agile she had time to get out and run. When I told him I felt the bump on my rear right tire 2 blocks from my house. he said well, that means she was there across the street and she ran when your car passed by and missed her judgement. The more I think about it, the more that makes sense. I keep thinking what should I have done differently. Why didn't I see her? What was she doing in that area at 11 am? She wasn't the type that would hear my car and come to say hi so I don't think it was that. Anyway, I was reading some of your posts to see if other people had similar experiences and what they said.

I know it was an accident and there are worse things happening in this world but I can't even kill an ant. I gave her life and then I took it away. That hurts...

I am glad she spent 10 months with us and I have wonderful pictures of her with my pit bull. But my heart is broken. I was so heart broken / I said that would be the last time I would take care of a feral cat. I can't get this attached anymore. I have done research on feral cats and most of them don't live past 2 years- they die in silence by illness or car accident. Humans just never see them again.

 

[pushylady]

L lissette I am so sorry this happened. That's just awful, and I wish I could console you. You sound like someone very decent who would never hurt an animal on purpose, and this would cause you pain even if you didn't know the cat personally. All I can say is that you did not do this on purpose, it was a horrible accident. At the very least, she knew what it was to have a human in her life that cared about her. You gave her that in her 10 months of life, and you gave her a humane end at the vet's instead of a lingering one full of pain. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[lissette]

Thank you so much for your words. I agree with you over the humane ending.

L lissette I am so sorry this happened. That's just awful, and I wish I could console you. You sound like someone very decent who would never hurt an animal on purpose, and this would cause you pain even if you didn't know the cat personally. All I can say is that you did not do this on purpose, it was a horrible accident. At the very least, she knew what it was to have a human in her life that cared about her. You gave her that in her 10 months of life, and you gave her a humane end at the vet's instead of a lingering one full of pain. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[donutte]

While this isn't the same as having run over a cat, the guilt is still the same. One of our cats was killed by one of our own dogs, many years back (1998, I want to say). His name was Black Cat, because we were not very creative apparently. Such an amazing little guy. He loved to sneak out the back door though, so we always had to be careful.

Well, one morning, my dad had opened the door, probably to let the dogs out in the back yard, and never saw Black Cat sneak out. After the dogs came back up, my sister went to take care of the dogs in the runs (Akitas). We had one named Tuxey, a very big male Akita. A big teddy bear, wouldn't hurt a fly (not on purpose anyway). He thought Black Cat was a toy, and dropped him the moment my sister told him to stop. Apparently my sister held him against the fence (and away from Tuxey) with her foot. My mom always said she's not sure if he was injured as a result of Tuxey or my sister, it could have been either way. We were pretty sure his back was broken going by how he looked.

Black Cat died on the

 

[kittens mom]

This was not your fault. and an excellent example of why cats need to be kept indoors or have a secured outdoor area.  I ran over a puppy many years ago. I slowed for the mother dog but never seen the puppy run out of the ditch a short distance behind her. I felt my truck run over the body and worse there was a child playing in the yard who witnessed it. The puppy was dead and I felt awful. The little boy pointed to a house on another road far away. Despite it being an accident I felt awful for days. The truth is the owner of the pets had a reputation for letting his dogs run. And obviously felt no need to fix an intact female dog that ran loose.

The fault belongs to the owners of these pets. Good hearted honest people get to carry the burden of guilt for their negligence.

 

[Margret]

 
Thanks Otto, still doing the replay in my head 12 hours later, and still angry.

This is perfectly normal.  I know it feels rotten, but it's the way we react to traumatic events.  It's one of the things that make us human -- it's how we learn from experience.  Unfortunately, there isn't much available to learn from this experience, though I'm very glad it sent you to us -- you clearly belong here.

I was driving home from the grocery store one night on a major street -- four lanes, speed limit of 45 miles per hour.  A dark gray cat ran out from the side of the road, large, I think he must have been a tom.  I did my best to avoid him, braked and swerved.  If I hadn't braked, he might have passed behind me.  And he saw me coming and also swerved, in the same direction I did.  I didn't just hit him, I ran over him.  There wasn't even any point in stopping; I knew he was dead, and I had no way to find his humans, assuming he had any.  I went on home, and collapsed on my husband's lap, crying.  And then I had nightmares about it.  For what it's worth, they do recede over time.

You and your boy friend did everything right.  And you have every right to be angry at your neighbor, though it would be unwise to tell your neighbor about it.  And, frankly, it sounds like you and your boyfriend are made for each other.  Congratulations on having found a kind and responsible man.  And welcome to TCS!

Margret

 

[Estherta]

Gosh, I know this thread it's a few years old but I googled "how to get over hitting a cat" and this is the closest related site I found....

I never thought this would happen to me. I love animals and particularly cats, so this is very traumatic.

Today on my way to teach a class, a cat run like a bullet in front of my car. It must have been a second but felt longer, where I knew what was about my happen before it happened and I prayed the cat would miss the tyres somehow but didn't. I ran it over I didn't dare looking on mirror and see the damage but I stopped the car and parked it to the side, hit the accident lights and left the car, engine running and rush to the scene and saw the cat, right in the middle of the street, laying on his back and moving his paws wildly side to side but not getting up. He must have been in a lot of pain at that time, and this is the image that haunts me. A woman who had also stopped approach me to help. I started panicking and shaking I think saying "this is my worst nightmare". She knocked on some doors trying to find the owners and I rushed to get my phone to ring a vets but I was not able to think calmly or dial anything and I had another look to the cat and he was hardly moving....I knew then it was about to die. I can't remember exactly the next few seconds but I think I was in a bit of a state and speaking to the woman, afraid to look at the cat. Next thing I am standing next the lifeless cat, I picked him up and put him on the side of the road near some bushes.

I had blood in my hands but I didn't care, just a bit relieved he wasn't suffering anymore, and he died fairly quickly. A mere few minutes before it was over.

I exchanged numbers with the woman. I went to work, rang the vet and came back for the dead cat 3 hours later after work and took him to the vet. He was microchip but unregistered. The woman who helped me at the scene was very helpful and we spoke on the phone couple of times- she was trying to find the owners and she succeeded- She rang me back to tell me she spoke to the owner and he took it quite well, considering. He understood. This really has helped to lift a weight over my shoulders, but damn it! I still feel awful.

I just wanted to say to people, please do stop, I read some people don't, I think for one thing, it will be easier to get over it if you know you helped or try to help in some way. I know it is hard, I was petrified about what state the cat would be in and I was really scared to look at him suffering as this images can never be "unseen". This was the hardest part of the whole ordeal and from now on I am carrying vets emergency numbers with me, even though I sure hope I don't go through anything similar again.

 

[Margret]

Late one night I was driving home, on a street that's normally quite busy (four lanes), but was fairly deserted because it was the middle of the night. All of a sudden a dark gray cat ran onto the road right in front of my car. I hit my brakes and swerved to miss it, the cat saw my car (a bit late!) and tried to turn around, and unfortunately we both swerved the same direction. I didn't just hit it, I ran over it directly with my wheel.

I didn't stop. I checked in my rear view mirror and the cat wasn't moving at all, not struggling to get up, nothing, and I couldn't conceive that there was any chance the cat was alive. Also, behind me a red light turned green and there was an influx of traffic. I didn't and still don't believe that there was anything I could have done for the cat, and it seemed foolish to endanger myself. I continued home and collapsed on my husband's lap and cried myself out. Then I had nightmares for weeks.

I kept going over it, and several things conspired to cause this.

1. Some irresponsible person let their cat out. I keep saying it -- Indoor only cats live longer. Indoor/outdoor cats die young!
2. The cat was a color that made it almost invisible at night. If it had been a white cat I would have seen it at the side of the road before it ran out and slowed down, had time to stop if necessary.
3. I could have done two things differently. I could have kept my foot on the gas or even sped up, either of which would have resulted in the cat passing under the car, not the tire, and I could have just kept driving straight. Unfortunately, that's all 20/20 hindsight. In the moment, every instinct I had said to slow and swerve. More importantly, those are the correct instincts.
4. The cat could have kept running straight, rather than swerving, trying to turn back. Unfortunately, the cat's response was also the result of correct instincts.
5. Pure chance. If I had swerved the other direction, if the cat had tried to cross the road a minute earlier or a minute later, any of a dozen things could have gone differently.

The thing is, we do keep going over things like this in our minds, replaying them, trying to make it turn out differently. This also is instinctive; it's how we learn from experience. Unfortunately, it's also how we drive ourselves crazy, because no matter how many times we relive the experience it does keep turning out the same. We can't change what happened.

Even when you do everything right, as you and your boyfriend did, ashurie , stuff happens -- it's the nature of life. When that stuff is traumatic, about the only thing we can do is grieve and move on, because anything else is opting out of life in some way.

Margret

 

[MeganLLB]

I remember the first time I hit an animal. Actually I'm still not sure if it was an animal or a leaf. I thought it kind of looked like a chipmunk but it also could have been a leaf. But regardless I felt bad for hitting it.

You did the right thing. Eventually you won't think about it so much.