How To Get Kitty To Sit With Me

[Hamna436]

1. I’m a new member of The Cat Site.
   
   My family and I recently adopted a 1 year old female cat called Pippin from the RSPCA. She’s affectionate with us and likes to be petted (not for too long though. We used to have long petting sessions duringher first week or so with us, to the point Pippin would fall asleep, but she can’ttolerate more than a few seconds now - should I be concerned?).
   
   She sits in the same room as us, and likes to watch us when we’re working, doingchores etc but she doesn’t like to sit near us, let alone touching us. Is there any way to get her to want to sit with us, or is it just her nature?

 

[LTS3]

It may just be her nature and there's nothing wrong with that Still, give your cat time to settle in more and be comfortable around you and the family. Don't push the petting and holding and such. If your cat doesn't want to be touched or held, leave her alone. Hopefully one day soon she'll allow more petting and affection from you. One of my cats never liked being held or petted for a good 5 years or so before she decided it was ok and now will occasionally ask for attention. She still doesn't sit on laps or cuddle but I'm ok with that.

 

[ArtNJ]

I agree with LTS3 that change over time is normal and you cant force it. I think you can often gradually move forward over time by figuring out what the cat likes, and doing that, and never getting grabby. The absolute worst thing is thinking "I'll show him how nice this is" and forcibly restraining the kitty. Instead, you figure out "oh, the kitty lets me pet him when tired" or "it seems that I'm allowed to pet kitty in this one spot" and you do that. I think if you can figure out situations the kitty likes, you can reinforce and link them up by giving treats and using a call noise when in those situations & to summon them to those situations. Then you can use treats and the call noise to potentially broaden that to other situations/places.

You might have gotten in trouble by getting grabby, or it could be a random thing. Either way, no permanent harm done if your patient. Good luck.

 

[elliesvictim]

Firstly a one year old may be in the "teen" phase where they are less touchy feely than kittens. They can be standoffish for a while but it passes.

Also is it hot or cold? My cat avoids me is summer and sleeps under my nose in winter.

Lastly what's your cats personality. Mine is very defiant. She is resistant to any prompting. I had to train and treat to get her to sleep next to me on the couch. Now it's one of her favourite things.

Lastly don't force it. It has the opposite effect. My cat accepts unsolicited affection sometimes because whenever she "brushed" me for affection I did the same to her until she learnt she has to give a little to get a lot. Remember ever human/cat team has to learn their own way of communicating.

Good luck.

 

[danteshuman]

Have you tried playing with her? That is a great way to build a bond with teen cats. I used to sneak in a quick pet during play sessions with my hyper punk because all he wanted to do was play. The secret is 5 minutes play 3 seconds petting ratio As long as it ends in play she should be more willing to accept an ear scratch or two.

 

[Hamna436]

Have you tried playing with her? That is a great way to build a bond with teen cats. I used to sneak in a quick pet during play sessions with my hyper punk because all he wanted to do was play. The secret is 5 minutes play 3 seconds petting ratio As long as it ends in play she should be more willing to accept an ear scratch or two.

Yes, I play with her for at least 10 minutes everyday, and she always loves it. She still brushes up against our ankles and such, and sometimes likes to be stroked on her head, but that’s it. Thanks for the help.