how long does it take 'used kitties' (i.e., 5 years old+ ) to get sucky and clingy with their owner?

[2ketzels]

it's been 3 years now and i play with them, feed them good food, furminate them - which they love - massage them, pet them, talk to them, supplied them with a good flowing fountain. i have toys like da Bird, mousies, cat dancer, fishing rods etc. i was just wondering because they've never been as affectionate as when i had kittens.  on the other hand, they're very good, don't scratch me or the furniture, use the litter & wait for me outside the bedroom door each morning. i only give them 'treats' occasionally, say once a month or...after i do something like clip their nails. they are also in perfect health.  when will they be more affectionate? or should i just love them the way they are and stop hoping?

 

[callista]

They are being affectionate! They wait for you outside the bedroom door--they want to be near you. They trust you to pet them; they love it when you brush them. Some cats are more demonstrative than others, just like some people are more huggy than others. Some cats will show affection by quietly being nearby; others will meow at you, headbutt you and demand attention. The quiet ones may seem like they are indifferent to you; but watch them carefully--their lives are most likely structured around yours.

By the way, "used cat" sounds really awkward. Try "rescue". That's what we call them, when we adopt them from a shelter or scoop them off the street or whatever. Or "adopted as an adult". "Used cat" makes me think of one of those sleazy car salesmen--you know, "Yeah, this baby was owned by an old lady, only drove it to church once a week on Sundays!"

And then I picture him showing off a very confused looking cat... Well, it gave me a giggle, anyhow!

 

[2ketzels]

thanks for reassuring me; i just wish they'd sit on my lap and purr or even knead with their paws like kittens do. they still don't like it when i pick them up - The Boy will put up with it, in hopes of getting a belly scritch but she...Miss Kitty is still quite nervous about when she'll land and if she'll do so safely (she always does, i'm careful).

by the way, i use the terms 'used kitties' as a joke - glad you giggled! i just don't like so much of life to be without humour.

--  and, after all, i'm not exactly a new human either -  at my age i'm a pretty 'used person' too -- ahahaha!  very hard to locate those 'virginal moments' in your life after 60 

 

[minka]

Cats really like quiet moments. When I used to live at home, all of the cats would congregate in my room because I was the one who would take naps with them, pet them gently and in general make a nice environment for them. If you put a lot of effort into only doing things the cat likes, you can win over almost any cat.
For example, whenever I get a new cat, I'm always very cautious for the first few months. No picking them up, no petting when they don't want it, slow careful movements so as to never startle them, and being forgiving of any 'mistakes' they make. It may seem like a pain but the result is the type of cat you want; one that trusts you completely and loves you through and through.
Like Callista said, not all cats are the same, but I think that putting in hard work to earn a cat's trust pays off.

 

[callista]

Ah, some cats really don't like being picked up, and prefer to sit next to you instead. My cats are both like that: They don't want to be picked up, and only want to be snuggled when they climb into my lap of their own accord. Another cat I used to know, an orange tabby called Skimble, hated lap-sitting, but would curl up right next to you on the couch, leaning up against you and doing the knead-and-purr thing against your leg.

Oh! Have you considered interactive toys? You know, the fishing-rod type that you put away between playtimes so they don't eat the string? I've seen even adult cats totally intrigued by a toy like "Da Bird", or a home-made version thereof. People have used these even to tame ferals, because it is a way to interact that doesn't put you so close to the cat that they are intimidated. But with tame cats, it is just a way to have fun together.

 

[riccadawn]

I must say, I also got a huge giggle out of the "used cat" thing lol. Love it

 

[minka]

Ah, some cats really don't like being picked up, and prefer to sit next to you instead. My cats are both like that: They don't want to be picked up, and only want to be snuggled when they climb into my lap of their own accord. Another cat I used to know, an orange tabby called Skimble, hated lap-sitting, but would curl up right next to you on the couch, leaning up against you and doing the knead-and-purr thing against your leg.

Oh! Have you considered interactive toys? You know, the fishing-rod type that you put away between playtimes so they don't eat the string? I've seen even adult cats totally intrigued by a toy like "Da Bird", or a home-made version thereof. People have used these even to tame ferals, because it is a way to interact that doesn't put you so close to the cat that they are intimidated. But with tame cats, it is just a way to have fun together.

She did say she already had lots of toys like that. :nod:

 

[callista]

I feel silly now!

Oh--

 

[2ketzels]

FAB-u-lous!  what a chuckle!  thanks!!

 

[melesine]

it's been 3 years now and i play with them, feed them good food, furminate them - which they love - massage them, pet them, talk to them, supplied them with a good flowing fountain. i have toys like da Bird, mousies, cat dancer, fishing rods etc. i was just wondering because they've never been as affectionate as when i had kittens.  on the other hand, they're very good, don't scratch me or the furniture, use the litter & wait for me outside the bedroom door each morning. i only give them 'treats' occasionally, say once a month or...after i do something like clip their nails. they are also in perfect health.  when will they be more affectionate? or should i just love them the way they are and stop hoping?

I love your avatar. 

I have two kitties I raised as kittens and one of them is very affectionate, he naps with me under the covers, jumps on my desk to lay in my arms while I surf the net ect. The other one, likes us but doesn't like to be petted much and when he does lay in bed never closer than fingertip reach. Our new kitty, is 5 she was the neighbors who gave her to us and she has always been affectionate even when she first met us. I really think it mostly has to do with the cats inborn personality. As long as they haven't been abused anyway, which I'm sure you haven't. 

 

[wolcar]

I always hoped my cats would turn into lap cats or be REALLy affectionate and then I hear stories from my friend whose cats whine until she sits down so they can sit on her lap.  The grass is always greener. lol  Neither of my cats like to be held or even sit on my lap. One will sit right next to me and the other sits right at my feet and gets upset if I put my feet on the coffee table rather than the floor.  And if I want to pet Gus, I have to travel from box to box in the house while the other will drop in the middle of the hallway while I'm walking and expose his belly to be rubbed immediately.  It's funny how different they can be.  I'm just now noticing as they approach 3 years old that Gus is starting to become more lovey dovey and will sit more still for me to pet him.  Maybe your kitties will be more affectionate as they age.

I'm sure your cats are loving you in ways that you can't see.