Lately, I have relapsed back to feeling like I have nothing left. I know what I want out of life, but it just isn't happening. Maybe I am not meant to be married or to be happy in life. It isn't lack for trying either.
I have been trying to deal with my mom's death, a friend who only cares for herself (who I no longer talk to), a bf that dumped me, my dad getting cancer, and another friend who is going through a divorce. A lot of it hasn't been by choice and I have just had to deal with it.
I think sometimes I put so much energy into taking care of others that I don't take care of myself. I have put my life on hold, by choice, and wonder what is left for me once this is all said and done. A lot of times I'll say I want to go do something and I'll talk myself out of it.
I used to feel like I had a purpose, but I no longer do. I feel that I go through life on a daily basis and have no more motivations. Work is a nightmare most times having to deal with people who think they are better than everyone and suck up to get what they want without repercussions.
I get frustrated because even though I have friends it is not like talking to my mom. I feel sad when I see my friend and her daughter argue and I wish I could just explain to them what it feels like for it to be gone. I no longer take anything for granted.
I feel like I have lost myself over the years with all the life altering events that have occurred. I can't even make plans anymore because each time something bad has happened. How do I even know what is worthwhile anymore?
I have been trying to deal with my mom's death, a friend who only cares for herself (who I no longer talk to), a bf that dumped me, my dad getting cancer, and another friend who is going through a divorce. A lot of it hasn't been by choice and I have just had to deal with it.
I think sometimes I put so much energy into taking care of others that I don't take care of myself. I have put my life on hold, by choice, and wonder what is left for me once this is all said and done. A lot of times I'll say I want to go do something and I'll talk myself out of it.
I used to feel like I had a purpose, but I no longer do. I feel that I go through life on a daily basis and have no more motivations. Work is a nightmare most times having to deal with people who think they are better than everyone and suck up to get what they want without repercussions.
I get frustrated because even though I have friends it is not like talking to my mom. I feel sad when I see my friend and her daughter argue and I wish I could just explain to them what it feels like for it to be gone. I no longer take anything for granted.
I feel like I have lost myself over the years with all the life altering events that have occurred. I can't even make plans anymore because each time something bad has happened. How do I even know what is worthwhile anymore?